Sunday, April 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Just knew he was no good

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: Ten years ago, my daughter, “June,” married a guy I thought was a little immature. June thought he would change after she married him. He didn’t. Five years ago, they had a child. She thought he would change then. He has not.

My son-in-law does absolutely nothing around the house unless June asks him to. Then he stomps around like a little kid and finally does it halfway. He won’t even play with his son unless June insists. The guy comes home from work and plays video games and watches TV for hours.

Meanwhile, June works two jobs, pays the bills and takes care of my grandson. If something major needs to be done, she asks me to do it while her husband plays Angry Birds. The guy is 36 years old and acts like he’s 12.

My wife says to stay out of it, but I know June is miserable. She refuses to spend the money on a marriage counselor. What can or should I do? I hate to think my grandson is seeing this.

— Worried Dad

Dear Dad: You can’t do anything about your daughter’s choice to tolerate this situation. If June is miserable, she can get low-cost counseling through her church, any graduate school counseling department, United Way, the YMCA and the Samaritan Institute (samaritaninstitute.org). Otherwise, please be the mature father figure your grandson can emulate. Children find their role models among their relatives, teachers, friends’ parents and even TV figures. You don’t need to badmouth your son-in-law to show the boy what a loving, caring, responsible grownup is.

————

Dear Annie: I work in an office with a co-worker who has the most offensive odor. “Carl” is a smoker, but that’s only part of it. He smells like he does not wash his clothes, and I gag every time he is near me.

I have complained to my boss, but she says she doesn’t smell him, so she won’t do anything. I have even asked his co-worker friends whether they smell him, and they say no. I am a “super-smeller” and know I smell things more strongly than others. But we work with the public, and I am sure at least some of our customers smell him, too. But of course, no one says anything.

We are a small office, and luckily, I don’t sit near Carl. But he does come to my desk, and he also sits by me on the bus, and during these times, I hold my breath. What can I do without confronting Carl myself?

— Need To Exhale

Dear Need: Does your office have a human resources department? Is there a supervisor above your boss who can intercede? If not, and if no one else is bothered by Carl, it then falls to you to say something. Keep in mind that a smoker’s clothing can retain the odor of smoke even if it is clean. Determine whether speaking to Carl will change anything. If so, it would be best to do so privately and as kindly as possible. Otherwise, try investing in an air purifier.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Left-Out Son,” whose parents support his substance-abusing sister and plan to give her everything when they die. I know how he feels.

My parents were good to me, but my sister fought drug addiction for most of her adult life. When my parents died, they left her everything. I had no part of their home, their belongings or the feeling that I was equally loved. I know in my head that my parents loved me, but it still stings. It feels as if I was punished for being the responsible sibling.

It is true that you must forgive, and I choose to. If you keep saying, “I forgive you,” your heart will finally follow.

— Daughter Still Hopeful

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Hub of activity: DHS newspaper keeps evolving

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    A springtime ritual

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Tom Adams seeks Davis school board seat

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1

     
     
    Holy fire ceremony draws thousands in Jerusalem

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Tour renovated YCCC facility Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Tour Davis Waldorf School on Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    The fifth annual Tour de Cluck is soon to be hatched

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Ortiz lawn signs available

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sign up soon for spring cooking classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Robb Davis team to rally on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Steadfast in their support

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4, 11 Comments | Gallery

     
    Yolo Hospice offers free grief workshops

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sign up for Camp Kesem caterpillar crawl

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Quilters gear up for annual show

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A4

    League hosts a series of candidate forums

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    KDVS launches fund drive on Monday

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

    Calling all Scrabble fans

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Hub webpage is seeing traffic increasing

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

    Learn Chinese crafts at I-House

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A16

     
    Preschool open house set at Davis Waldorf

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    Birch Lane celebrates its 50th anniversary

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

     
    Hotel/conference center info meeting set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    Lescroart welcomes all to book-launch party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A16 | Gallery

     
    DEVO set to serve up 14th annual Winkler Dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Take ownership of your health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Not thrilled with lack of symmetry

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Reliving the agony and ecstasy of spring

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

     
    Keep your baby safe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    Road diet? No, city diet!

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 5 Comments

    We’re reveling in our equality

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

     
    Vote no; it’s fiscally responsible

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 3 Comments

    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    Core values on campus

    By Our View | From Page: A12, 3 Comments

     
    Bill is an affront to UC Davis ag biotech and local farmers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 3 Comments

    Don’t want to sit in Fix 50 traffic? Consider alternatives

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

     
    .

    Sports

    UCD softball shut out by Santa Barbara

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie men shoot 9-under, lead own tourney

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Stars shine in Woody Wilson Classic

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Devils burn up the track

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD roundup: Aggie baseball swept away by Highlanders

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    A’s score 3 in ninth, rally past Astros 4-3

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    PG&E pays taxes, fees to county, cities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9, 1 Comment

     
    Will Davis get an Old Soul?

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9

    Pediatricians, nurse practitioner hired at Woodland Healthcare

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Asian stocks mostly higher after mixed U.S. earnings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

    Yolo Federal Credit Union gets WISH funds

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Roots will showcase its graduating startups

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14

    University Honda wins another President’s Award

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

     
    Dutch Bros. raises $19,000 for girl with leukemia

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, April 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8