Tuesday, January 27, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Keeping the uncle’s secrets

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 19, 2013 |

Dear Annie: Several years ago, I stayed with my aunt and uncle for a week. My aunt sent me down to the basement to tell my uncle to come upstairs for dinner. When I turned the corner, I caught him pulling up his pants in front of the computer screen. He asked me not to tell my aunt, and I didn’t.

During my time there, he did several other things that made me uncomfortable. He asked me personal questions about women’s bodies, and one time when I was alone with him, he hugged me from behind, pushing himself against me. Eventually, I told my parents about it. Although they believed me, I don’t think they ever said anything to my aunt and uncle. So I made my own rules about how close to get to him when we visited.

The reason I’m writing is because I have two younger sisters, both teenagers, and I have noticed my uncle looking at them when we visit. Even more troubling, my uncle has two young granddaughters who visit on a regular basis. While I don’t like to think he’d do anything to them, my aunt and uncle often babysit for the girls, so he has regular opportunities to be alone with them.

The situation worries me, but I don’t know what to do. I’m pretty sure neither my aunt nor my adult cousins have any idea what’s going on. My parents aren’t eager to create a rift, and the grandkids really love their grandpa. But I would feel awful if I later learned he had abused these kids.

If my parents don’t address the situation, should I tell my aunt? My cousins?

— Don’t Want It To Happen Again

Dear Don’t Want: That hug from behind was a type of molestation. Your uncle isn’t likely to change his behavior on his own, so it is important that the relatives be informed and the younger children protected. Tell your parents that if they are unwilling to handle this, you will talk to your sisters and adult cousins. Your cousins may not believe that their father would harm their kids, and they may be angry with you, but they should know nonetheless.

————

Dear Annie: Like “Worried and Confused in Calif.,” I am also turned off by a dear friend who allows her dog to eat off of her plates and slurp from the same glass. If it were only in her own home, it wouldn’t bother me too much. But “Beth” brings her dog to my house and does the same thing. It is very annoying.

Beth is wonderfully generous, kind and ethical. I cannot think of a way to tell her without hurting her. Do you have any suggestions?

— Love the Friend and Her Dog, But

Dear But: You have already given Beth the impression that you don’t mind, so it will require telling her directly that she either not bring her dog, or not allow the dog to lick the plates. You can be gentle about it, saying you’ve become more concerned about germs lately and would prefer that the dog eat from a dish you’ve supplied for him instead of off of her plate. You might have to remind her a few times, but if she’s as generous, kind and ethical as you say, she will comply.

————

Dear Annie: You often recommend grief counseling for readers whose loved ones have died, and you say to check with their local hospital.

I’d like to suggest an alternative. Not all hospitals offer grief counseling, except in the immediate aftermath of a death. But hospices throughout the country offer bereavement support, and the vast majority of them serve the entire community, often at no cost.

Please encourage anyone who is grieving to explore what is offered in their community through local hospices.

— Loyal Reader

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Interfaith event focuses on justice

    By Fred Gladdis | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    In vino veritas: A criminal case and intrigue in Napa Valley

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Parking lawsuit may be more than meets the eye

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

     
    Crash leads to DUI, hit-run arrest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    Senate Dems block GOP effort to wind down pipeline debate

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    New-home sales jump 11.6% in December

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Blizzard howls its way into Boston

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Apply now for Soroptimist service grants

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Share your love (story) with us

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Workshop offers tips on GoPro cameras

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Sutter Davis Hospital seeks volunteer doulas

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Winter produce, treats available at Wednesday market

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Have a ‘Heart to Heart’ with Dr. G

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Apply now to be on Davis’ coop crawl

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Seed swap set Friday at Davis Cemetery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    VFW post plans Valentine’s Day Heroes Breakfast

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Storyteller relies on nature as his subject on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Learn nature photography from an expert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Thorp receives UCD’s Distinguished Emeritus Award

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Innovation opportunities on the agenda

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sutter auxiliary seeks volunteers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    A winemaker’s downfall

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A7

    Gerber nominations open now

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Forum

    Wife’s attitude costs her friends

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Taking turns as the halfway house

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    Locals will join march for climate change

    By Michelle Millet | From Page: A6

     
    It’s foggy? Turn on your headlights

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Damage done to democracy

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    A family was torn apart, but we survived

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    .

    Sports

    Aggie women almost get a sweep of Portland tennis teams

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD women need to get in gear for a basketball road trip

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Anatomy of a hoops collapse: Can Aggie men handle the pressure?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Four DHS wrestlers soar at McClellan Air Force Base

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    UCD swims past Santa Barbara

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Eat ribs for the Davis Aquadarts

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    Name Droppers: Lea Rosenberg leads Odd Fellows

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    .

    Arts

    ‘Ideation’ a funny, dark, thrilling farce — and more

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    DHS Idol finals will be a tough competition

    By Krystal Lau | From Page: A9

    Wynonna Judd will perform Feb. 13 in Vacaville

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Death notice: Lorraine Bernice DeGraff

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A2

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, January 27, 2015 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, January 27, 2015 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7