Sunday, May 3, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Kids showing signs of stress?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 20, 2014 |

Dear Annie: One of our darling granddaughters started to pull out her eyelashes at around age 9. We expressed our concern to our son. Shortly after, we were told that our granddaughter was seeing a counselor to address this behavior. We were so relieved when she stopped. But about a year later, she started again. Now her 9-year-old brother is pulling hair out of his head. He has a bald spot about two inches in diameter.

Our son and his wife have education degrees. The marriage and family appear OK. The kids seem happy, and they do well in school. I recently brought up the counseling to our son, but he said, “We tried that.” He indicated that the kids will stop on their own.

Is stress causing this? How involved should we get? Right now, we feel like it’s the elephant in the room.

— Blue-Collar Grandparents

Dear Grandparents: Trichotillomania is a disorder that results in compulsive hair pulling. It is currently considered to be a “body-focused repetitive behavior.” There also may be a genetic predisposition, which would explain why both of your grandchildren suffer from it. Sometimes stress, anxiety or fatigue can trigger the hair pulling, but not always.

Doctors do not know the underlying cause but believe it may develop due to a combination of genetic, hormonal, emotional and environmental factors. Appropriate treatment involves cognitive behavioral therapy, sometimes in combination with medication, hypnosis and relaxation techniques. Your son and his wife may already be taking the necessary steps, but either way, you can get more information through the Trichotillomania Learning Center at trich.org.

————

Dear Annie: I recently learned that a friend’s son died from a heart attack. He was relatively young. I was both saddened and shocked.

I was more despondent that my friend and his current (third) wife did not attend his son’s funeral. They live in another state, but still. It was his son. We’ve been friends for more than 50 years, but it makes me realize he wouldn’t bother attending my funeral, either.

Annie, should I dissolve our friendship? Should I tell him how shocked and disappointed I am? Or should I simply overlook it?

— Sensitive, Caring Person

Dear Sensitive: While not attending his son’s funeral seems callous, is it possible that your friend has health issues that prevented him from traveling? Might he and his son have been estranged and his presence at the funeral unwelcome? You can let him know that you were surprised he didn’t attend the funeral, but he is under no obligation to satisfy your curiosity. Limiting the friendship because you believe he no longer cares enough about you is a legitimate concern, but cutting off a 50-year friendship because he might not attend your funeral is excessive. How your friend treats you while you are alive is what counts.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to those individuals who invite family, friends and neighbors to their home for dinner and then feel slighted because the invitation is not reciprocated.

Many years ago, when invited to someone’s home, I did return the invitation. But it always made me nervous to entertain. I’d lose sleep, worry about what to serve, wonder whether I’d have enough food or whether my dinner would turn out well. I finally decided that it just was not worth the anxiety to keep having people over.

I will occasionally host an informal gathering at my home, nothing fancy. Thank goodness I have friends who know that entertaining makes me anxious. They still invite me to their homes and ask me to bring a salad, a dessert or a bottle of wine. Some of us just aren’t meant to host parties.

— I’m Not

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Breaking barriers: For Prieto, it’s all about hard work

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Council to hear about drought pricing

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Peaceful Baltimore demonstrators praise top prosecutor

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Nigeria: Nearly 300 freed women, children led to safety

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Graveyard thefts land three Woodlanders behind bars

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

Downtown altercation leads to injuries

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

 
Woman arrested for brandishing knife on overpass

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

Yolo DA launches monthly newsletter

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Can plants talk? UCD prof will answer that question

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

A Scottish setting for local author’s next book

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Indoor Fun Fly comes to Woodland

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Free beginner yoga class offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Video discusses surveillance of prostate cancer

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
NAMI support group meets May 10

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Dr. G featured on the radio

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Fee proposed on rail cars that haul oil, other flammables

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Internships move UCD doctoral students beyond academia

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Make Mom a warm vanilla sugar scrub

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

 
The secret to Mother’s Day gifting success: Give time, not stuff

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Letter book is series of collected missives thanking Mom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
If your mom fancies something fancy, consider a tea party

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Out of Africa and back to Davis: James Carey will give special presentation

By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Big Day of Giving makes philanthropy easy

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Tuleyome Tales: How are a snake and a mushroom alike?

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
Tuleyome hosts Snow Mountain camping trip

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Forum

Please help Baltimore

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
End of life doesn’t mean life must end

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4 | Gallery

Advancing education for California’s former foster youths

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
With sincere gratitude

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

A wonderful day of service

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Eyewitness to the ‘fall’ of Vietnam: It was not a bloodbath

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5 | Gallery

He can’t give it up

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B6

 
 
Dangers from prescription pills

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

.

Sports

 
Defending champ DHS clinches a baseball playoff berth

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

UCD softball splits with Titans

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Trifecta of Devil teams open playoffs Tuesday

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Sports briefs: DHS boys win to reach lacrosse playoffs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Making memories at Aggie Stadium

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Pro baseball roundup: Hudson pitches Giants past Angels

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12

 
UCD roundup: Aggie women speed past Hornets

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12 | Gallery

.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

Marrone opens new greenhouse

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
New firm helps students on path to college

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A8

 
Yolo County real estate sales

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

Arcadia partners on soybean trait to improve yield

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, May 3, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8