Sunday, March 29, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Lonely guy wants answers

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | September 29, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I am a 64-year-old male with decent looks and of average height. I’m a few pounds overweight, but I am not sloppy. I was married before, but have not had very much luck when it comes to the fairer sex. What sets me apart are two very obvious facts: One, I am disabled. When a woman looks at me, she focuses on my cane. Two, I live in a senior complex on a limited income from social security. It doesn’t matter that I can offer a woman warmth, tenderness, kindness and love. Once more, I have been used and dumped by another woman who promised the moon and then shattered my lonely heart. I have had enough. I am tired. I just wanted you to know that there is one nice guy left out here.

— Jay

Dear Jay: We are certain you aren’t the only one, and we sympathize. It is hard to be alone when you crave intimacy. We are undoubtedly going to be inundated with letters from equally lonely women who want to meet you. They, too, are looking for companionship, warmth, tenderness, kindness and love.

However, even with your disability and your living situation, you apparently have been able to attract women. Why they keep breaking your heart is not explained by those issues. It might be enormously helpful to ask one of them to give you an honest critique of why she left. Listen with an open mind instead of a wounded heart, and you may learn something about yourself. It might help.

————

Dear Annie: I never understood why my mother didn’t like me. I did everything possible to get her to love me, but it never happened. She even helped my ex-husband kidnap my son. I forgave each hurt but learned not to trust her. Finally, at the age of 56, I looked up her personality traits on the Internet, and there she was: a “narcissistic parent.”

I recently was diagnosed with terminal cancer. When I explained the bone pain, my mother suddenly complained of similar pain and insisted on numerous tests that showed nothing. She could not tolerate the attention I was receiving. She even told me she “had to” put down her dog a month earlier than necessary because, of course, she “needed” to be with me. This is the kind of love I get from her.

When I was a child, she convinced everyone that I was evil. Now my mother has started forgetting her lies, and people have figured her out. Several family members have apologized to me for not seeing through her. I don’t blame them. She is very good at what she does.

But I am finally free of her. I also know I am a good person. I only wish I had had this information years ago. I hope this helps some other adult child learn how to deal with a nasty, vindictive parent.

— Not an Evil Child Anymore

Dear Not: We are so sorry that you’ve had such a stressful relationship with your difficult mother, and that at a time in your life when you could use the comfort of a loving parent, you cannot turn to her. Please know our thoughts are with you.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Begging for Mummy and Daddy.” I am a heroin addict who has been clean for 20 years. Going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings is the best thing he can do. I went to six meetings a week and met the nicest and most caring people. These people will help you get clean if you want it.

Please don’t give up because your parents don’t understand. When you do get clean, look better and start to work, your parents will realize the mistake they made. Living clean has been nothing but a blessing. I have a great wife and two beautiful children, so anything is possible.

— Twenty Years Clean

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Davis sewage to get new digs

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
Where do Davis recyclables go?

By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

UCD faculty receive lowest pay in the system

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1

 
Motive for murder-suicide remains a mystery

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Human Relations Commission hosts Chávez celebration

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A2

 
 
Davis Flower Arrangers meet Wednesday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

‘Music as Medicine’ is radio show topic

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

 
Friendship the topic on radio program

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

 
.

Forum

Milt Prigee cartoon

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
Some ‘survey’ …

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

These results were meaningless

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Survey not representative

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Answers on the green waste program

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
A phone call could have fixed this

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

Universities need more funding

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
Mayor’s corner: Looking ahead to spring

By Dan Wolk | From Page: B5 | Gallery

A Little Respect for Dr. Foster

By Nicholas Kristof | From Page: B5

 
Father of the bride snubbed

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

Which experiences count as ‘once in a lifetime’?

By Marion Franck | From Page: A8

 
After a month of no TV news, I’m feeling much better

By Debra DeAngelo | From Page: A8

Take a hike for your heart

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
.

Sports

Aggie softball splits doubleheader

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Republic stun Galaxy with repeated history

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Bad fourth quarter sinks boys lacrosse

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Aggies’ walkoff win clinches series against Riverside

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Burns scores shootout winner to lift Sharks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
UCD women’s tennis dominates at home

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B10 | Gallery

.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

Millennials are changing our community

By Rob White | From Page: A9

 
With new owner, DAC will Get Fit

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Grant writing for non-profits workshop set

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, March 29, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8