Sunday, April 19, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Looking to stop the presses

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I find myself trying to keep every tiny bit of my life a secret since I got married — not because I’m ashamed of anything, but because my in-laws make my business fodder for gossip. Every time I talk to them, it feels as if I am being interrogated. If I slip up and offer a small piece of personal news (such as an upcoming trip), they pepper me with a million pointed questions trying to get details.

I would be much more willing to share if, when I did mention a tidbit, I was told, “Oh, how wonderful for you,” and they didn’t press further or continue to spread my plans beyond present company. Instead, knowing that everything I say will be picked apart and broadcast to the universe, I clam up and am reluctant to say anything at all.

Is there anything I can do to put off their questions in a polite manner while avoiding the impression that I’m being aloof and rude?

— Not an Interrogator

Dear Not: You are under no obligation to respond to questions that are no one’s business, particularly if you know they will repeat the information to everyone.

However, if it is something innocuous (a promotion, for example), you should try to answer their questions honestly. If they tell the universe, you have no reason to be concerned. For other things, practice a sincere smile while saying, “There’s really nothing interesting happening. How have you been?” But we don’t believe your in-laws are being malicious. We think they find everything about you more entertaining than what they are doing, and sharing it makes them feel important.

————

Dear Annie: I will be sending out wedding invitations soon. The problem is, I don’t know what to do about my grandparents. They are still friends with my ex-husband, who is unstable and a bit scary. Last year, they didn’t hesitate to give my phone number to his girlfriend when she asked. I was furious. They don’t have my new address because I fear they would give it to my ex and he would show up and cause trouble.

I worry that when my grandparents get their invitation, they will give my ex the date, time, place and my return address. The fact that they are family and love me would not stop them. They are stubborn and thoughtless. They adore my ex and aren’t so crazy about my fiancé.

Should I send them the invitation and give them a stern talking to? I doubt it would do any good. Should I give them the information the day of the wedding so they have less time to share it? Of course, that would necessitate asking other family members not to tell them anything, which would be difficult. Any advice?

— Burned by Family

Dear Burned: You always have the option of telling your grandparents after the wedding takes place. But we assume you want them to be there. You could send Grandma and Grandpa a handwritten invitation, omitting your return address and the location of the wedding. Arrange for a friend to pick them up and bring them to the ceremony. On the assumption that other relatives will spill the beans, you also could ask another friend to act as “security” (or hire someone) to guard the door so your ex doesn’t show up uninvited.

————

Dear Annie: “Happy in Hawaii” recommended that teenagers participate in their school’s community service clubs so they are less influenced by their friends and won’t get into trouble. When I was a child, I learned a saying that I passed on to our four children. I think it helped them to become independent-thinking adults: “Of all excuses this is most forbid, ‘I did it ‘cuz the others did.'”

— Marion, Mass.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Aggie Pride on parade at UC Davis Picnic Day

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
City wants a study of sewer rates

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

Hard-of-hearing student needs community’s help

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
KDVS fund drive includes on-air pledging, plus parties and food

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
 
Art helped sell California’s agriculture

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Sign up now for Celebrate Davis!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4Comments are off for this post

Students, families can get after-hours Internet access

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Lawyers seek resolution to Davis molest case

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4

Garamendi hosts conference for women

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
‘Invaluable public servant’ retires after 20 years

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Your brain’s aging and a new report urges ways to stay sharp

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Injury-proof yourself for effective exercise

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Understanding risks can help women prevent leading health threats

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
Get some advice at Connections Café

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

Eyewitness speaks about Israel’s election

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Free gardening advice offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
Grad Night tickets on sale online

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

Schenker speaks about ‘Magical Mexico’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
Yolo County DA honors crime victims at annual tribute

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

Holman offers Publishing 101 seminar

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
Radio-controlled airplanes will race April 25-26

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

Vote with your dollars at Davis Food Co-op

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
Woodland bike rides set every Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

Join the 10,000-vegetable challenge!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9Comments are off for this post

 
NAMI group offers family support

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Birding tour will benefit Putah Creek Council

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
Watershed Wonders activities return to Putah Creek

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

Yolo County Neighborhood Court seeks new volunteers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
UCD looks at building a better brain as we age

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

‘Vault’ highlights ‘Kathak’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Two drought-preparedness water bills pass out of Senate committees

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

Picnic Day favorites: dogs, bikes science

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A13 | Gallery

 
Strike up the band, and the bubbles!

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A14 | Gallery

.

Forum

 
John Cole cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B6

 
Yolo Crisis Nursery still needs help

By Our View | From Page: B6

Drink up, kids, but make your choice a healthy one

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

 
Leash your dogs; it’s the law

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Speak out

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B7

 
Let’s not turn our backs on the Earth

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B7

This Earth Day, make a pledge to cool your home

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B7

 
.

Sports

Fast Aggie start negated by 14-0 USC lacrosse run

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Stagnant second-half offense sinks Devil girls

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Over the hump? DHS baseball team wins late

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lambdin, Marshall lead Aggies at Mt. SAC

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Republic FC gets another win at Bonney

By Evan Ream | From Page: B2

 
UCD roundup: Aggies sweep a water polo double dip

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Busy Clancy, Hall spark Devil tracksters at Mt. SAC

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Former DHS star Drexel returns to create havoc for Aggies

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B4 | Gallery

Sports briefs: Blue Devils split a pair of tennis matches

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B14 | Gallery

 
Pro baseball roundup: Oakland blanks Kansas City

By The Associated Press | From Page: B14

.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

Marrone Bio Innovations strengthens its sales team

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

 
New phase opens at Brookfield Cottages

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

Tucos closes; new Japanese, pizza, subs debut

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
WISH grant funds available to eligible homebuyers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12

.

Obituaries

Jody Zewe

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Ruth Rodenbeck Stumpf

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Herman Timm

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Robert Leigh Cordrey

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Alice Catherine Micheltorena

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, April 19, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8