Friday, October 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Looking to stop the presses

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I find myself trying to keep every tiny bit of my life a secret since I got married — not because I’m ashamed of anything, but because my in-laws make my business fodder for gossip. Every time I talk to them, it feels as if I am being interrogated. If I slip up and offer a small piece of personal news (such as an upcoming trip), they pepper me with a million pointed questions trying to get details.

I would be much more willing to share if, when I did mention a tidbit, I was told, “Oh, how wonderful for you,” and they didn’t press further or continue to spread my plans beyond present company. Instead, knowing that everything I say will be picked apart and broadcast to the universe, I clam up and am reluctant to say anything at all.

Is there anything I can do to put off their questions in a polite manner while avoiding the impression that I’m being aloof and rude?

— Not an Interrogator

Dear Not: You are under no obligation to respond to questions that are no one’s business, particularly if you know they will repeat the information to everyone.

However, if it is something innocuous (a promotion, for example), you should try to answer their questions honestly. If they tell the universe, you have no reason to be concerned. For other things, practice a sincere smile while saying, “There’s really nothing interesting happening. How have you been?” But we don’t believe your in-laws are being malicious. We think they find everything about you more entertaining than what they are doing, and sharing it makes them feel important.

————

Dear Annie: I will be sending out wedding invitations soon. The problem is, I don’t know what to do about my grandparents. They are still friends with my ex-husband, who is unstable and a bit scary. Last year, they didn’t hesitate to give my phone number to his girlfriend when she asked. I was furious. They don’t have my new address because I fear they would give it to my ex and he would show up and cause trouble.

I worry that when my grandparents get their invitation, they will give my ex the date, time, place and my return address. The fact that they are family and love me would not stop them. They are stubborn and thoughtless. They adore my ex and aren’t so crazy about my fiancé.

Should I send them the invitation and give them a stern talking to? I doubt it would do any good. Should I give them the information the day of the wedding so they have less time to share it? Of course, that would necessitate asking other family members not to tell them anything, which would be difficult. Any advice?

— Burned by Family

Dear Burned: You always have the option of telling your grandparents after the wedding takes place. But we assume you want them to be there. You could send Grandma and Grandpa a handwritten invitation, omitting your return address and the location of the wedding. Arrange for a friend to pick them up and bring them to the ceremony. On the assumption that other relatives will spill the beans, you also could ask another friend to act as “security” (or hire someone) to guard the door so your ex doesn’t show up uninvited.

————

Dear Annie: “Happy in Hawaii” recommended that teenagers participate in their school’s community service clubs so they are less influenced by their friends and won’t get into trouble. When I was a child, I learned a saying that I passed on to our four children. I think it helped them to become independent-thinking adults: “Of all excuses this is most forbid, ‘I did it ‘cuz the others did.'”

— Marion, Mass.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

UC researchers: How low-water can our landscapes go?

By Katie F. Hetrick | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Testimony begins in Winters murder trial

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

A-Z: Downtown Davis is the place to celebrate

By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: C1

 
Courageous Thompson tapped for cycling shrine

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Hong Kong protesters to vote on staying in streets

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Cloud business lifts Microsoft’s quarterly results

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Scientists work to save endangered desert mammal

By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Host families needed for students and teachers from Mexico

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Halloween Dance set Friday for teens

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Yoga and chanting workshop planned

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Downtown menu: coffee, boba tea, dessert

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: C3

 
Enjoy A Taste of Capay at historic ranch

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Red-hot tunes set at Blues Harvest

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Learn how to fill a cornucopia with flowers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Video highlights Props. 1 and 2

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
‘Homeopathy at Home’ program planned

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Celebrate origami at Davis library

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Garden sale and open house features water-wise demos

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: C4

Meet Poppenga at dog park Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Day of the Dead folk art class set

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Flea Market planned Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Bay Bridge art project needs $4 million to keep shining

By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Weir honored, a year early

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Explorit: Poison-proof your home with free lecture

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A6

For a good cause

By Fred Gladdis | From Page: A6

 
Americans, internationals make connections

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

School board hopefuls discuss homework policy

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A7

 
Sutter auxiliary seeks volunteers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Walkers welcome to join Sierra Club outings

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Project Linus seeks donations

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

.

Forum

The magic is long gone

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Rights beget responsibilities

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Water returns to its source

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
A solution to the drought

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Experience nature’s treasures

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Subs have other concerns

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

What’s next with Ebola?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
More theories on the abstention

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

.

Sports

Bump, set, playoffs: Blue Devil girls clinch spot in postseason

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Aggies expect a bonny meeting in Sacramento

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

DHS footballers take on Pleasant Grove

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Bye No. 2 comes at perfect time for nicked-up UCD

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Shhh. Are Aggie women BWC’s best-kept secret?

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
UCD roundup: Preseason awards roll in for Aggie hoopster Hawkins

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Sharks suffer from road woes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12

.

Features

.

Arts

‘St. Vincent:’ Quite a character

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Rumpledethumps to play at Village Homes Performers’ Circle

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11 | Gallery

DMTC plans ‘My Fair Lady’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

 
Czech Philharmonic Orchestra to perform

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Calling all artists for upcoming show

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Business

 
Car Care: Five things to ask yourself when shopping for a new vehicle

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B7

.

Obituaries

Ann Foley Scheuring

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Lewis Melvin Dudman

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, October 24, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B3