Friday, April 24, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Mama always comes first

AnniesMailbox

By
From page A11 | August 11, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I’ve always known that my husband’s widowed mother runs his life. She picks out his clothes and even decided which house we should buy. Of course, it’s about a half-mile from hers.

I thought after we married I’d have a more prominent place in his life. Wrong! Every decision is still made by his mother. He acts as if I’m not smart enough. Meanwhile, his mother completely ignores me. She plans holiday gatherings and everything else with no regard for my preferences or schedule. She calls his cellphone constantly. I think it’s rude. He thinks it’s normal.

I’m seriously thinking about taking our 4-year-old and walking out. I’m not sure he would notice. I love my husband, but he doesn’t have time for me. Any suggestions? I’m ready to explode.

— Second Best in Michigan

Dear Second Best: We are always surprised by people who marry and expect their spouses to suddenly change years of ingrained behavior. In order for your husband to put you first, he must be willing to do so, and he will have to simultaneously fend off his mother’s objections. We think he likes things as they are, so this is an uphill battle. You will have to explain why the change is crucial to the health of your marriage, and then insist on counseling. Keep in mind, no attitude adjustment happens overnight. And without effort on his part, it won’t happen at all.

————

Dear Annie: Could you ask those people who live in the forests in western states why they build their houses so they will burn down? They must do it on purpose, because they have been doing it over and over for years. Not long ago, 360 big houses burned in Colorado.

You can build a house so it won’t burn so easily. It’s very simple: Just build it out of steel, masonry, stucco, tile and drywall, all readily available at the local hardware store. Any builder today will know how to do it, and I don’t think it would cost much more to build and would surely be a lot less expensive to insure.

— Retired Architect in Dayton, Ohio

Dear Dayton: We have no idea why people build homes with particular materials in places prone to fires, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and other natural disasters. We assume it has to do with the cost, the use of natural materials and a specific preference for the aesthetics. If we hear anything different, we’ll let you know.

————

Dear Annie: “Concerned Nana” was worried about her 4-year-old granddaughter’s self-image because Mommy wanted her to watch what she ate so she wouldn’t get heavy. You told Grandma to make little “Jill” feel loved no matter how she looked or what she ate.

Oh, come on! What message would we be sending little Jill with Grandma telling her she is just wonderful as she snarfs down a greasy burger and fries, knowing that this artery-clogging food will only cause bad long-term problems? It’s not abuse to tell your child that you can get fat by eating too much. It’s the truth. Do you think that being heavy is going to give this child a better self-image?

I’m in the health care profession and have come to the conclusion that in order to stop this obesity problem, we need to educate our children on proper eating habits. I’m sick and tired of seeing overweight parents feeding their overweight kids junk food.

— Not Scared To Say the “F” Word

Dear Not: It’s interesting how you chose to interpret our response, which specified that parents should teach their children healthy eating habits, and that children deserve to be loved regardless of what they eat. We’ll stand by that. What we object to are parents who, in an obsessive effort to keep toddlers skinny, restrict their caloric intake in a way that stunts their height and health. Surely you would agree.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Water and power have a troubling interdependency

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
New design submitted for conference center

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Bob Dunning: Fairness is an afterthought for them

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

Los Angeles march to commemorate Armenian killings

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Hostage deaths a reminder of risk of ‘deadly mistakes’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Beginning tai chi classes start May 5

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
College Night set April 30 at DHS

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Walkers head out three times weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4Comments are off for this post

 
Got bikes? Donate ‘em!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Need a new best friend?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Tour of co-ops precedes Sacramento conference

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
School board hears report on health services

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

Mamajowali will perform at benefit house concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

 
Explorit: Celebrate International Astronomy Day

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Learn basics of composting in Woodland

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
BeerFest expands to include cider

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

Winkler Dinner raises funds for enology, viticulture activities

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Raptor Center welcomes visitors at May 2 open house

By Trina Wood | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Take a peek at region’s past at Tremont Mite Society’s social

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Mapping where human action is causing earthquakes

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A9

Hummingbird health: Appreciating the little things

By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
.

Forum

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B4

 
The fight for gender pay equity

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
Thanks for supporting the arts

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Bike Swap another success

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Drink is a tasteless insult

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

It’s a depressing beat

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

Aggie Spring Game environment will up the gridiron fun factor

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Rare DHS track loss still full of highlights

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Lehner talks about the UCD student-athlete experience

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Reeling Blue Devils stop skid against Sheldon

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lady Demons’ fundraiser a smash hit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

DYSA roundup: Lester, Osborne lead Storm over Dixon

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Pro baseball roundup: River Cats lose their fourth straight

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B12

.

Features

.

Arts

 
‘Ex Machina': The perils of playing God

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Ceramicist works will be featured at The Artery

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
.

Business

Chamber expands Korean sister-city opportunities

By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Car Care: Tips for buying your first ATV

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

Subaru goes rear-wheel drive with sporty BRZ coupe

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, April 24, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B5