Sunday, April 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Mentally ill son won’t get help

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: Thirty years ago, our son was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He has been hospitalized more than once, although he believes it was only to “punish” him. In the past few years, he has refused all psychiatric intervention.

”Robert” has lived independently for 18 years. He displays delusional and paranoid behavior. We do not know whether he still takes the antipsychotic medicine that was prescribed 20 years ago. We are grateful that he doesn’t drink or do drugs, but he is a chain smoker and eats voraciously. His weight is more than 300 pounds, and he is diabetic and takes blood pressure pills. He has anger issues and an irrational fear of being injected with anything.

Mental health professionals have given up on him. Robert doesn’t seem to fit in anywhere. Living alone only worsens his illness, but he is averse to being told what to do. How do I help him?

— Fear for My Son

Dear Fear: It’s terribly sad and stressful, but there is only so much you can do to protect a mentally ill adult who refuses to take medication, get therapy or be helped in any way. The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers a 12-week Family-to-Family program for those dealing with family members who are mentally ill. Please contact them at (800) 950-NAMI (950-6264) or nami.org.

————

Dear Annie: My husband often must go out of state on business for months at a time. In order for us to be together, he buys me a ticket to join him whenever he accumulates enough frequent flyer miles. Right now, he’s in California. He recently missed my birthday, saying he didn’t have enough mileage to fly me there.

However, I discovered that wasn’t true. He had enough miles, but his mother and sister demanded that he use them for them because they’ve always wanted to go to California. So he’s saving his miles in order to have enough for their two tickets.

I am furious. I have no intention of sitting home alone while they enjoy the time with my husband that should be mine. How do I make them understand that by requesting two tickets, they are using up two future chances for me to spend time with my husband? And how do I make my husband understand how hurt I am that he would even consider doing this?

— The Wife

Dear Wife: While we understand that you want every trip to be yours, the real issue here is that your husband didn’t consult you first, and then lied about the availability of his frequent flyer miles. We think he avoids confrontation, not only with you, but also with his family members. This is how workable issues turn into major arguments.

Here’s a possible compromise: Suggest that his sister pay for her own ticket, allowing Mom to have the freebie. You would only lose one trip. Your mother-in-law likely doesn’t get to see her son very often, and she misses him. This would be a special treat. If you approach it in a conciliatory way, your husband will not only appreciate your generosity, but he also will be more inclined to discuss these things with you in the future. And that should be your ultimate goal.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Ex-In-Laws,” who are getting calls from debt collectors looking for their ex-daughter-in-law.

Please inform them that all they need to do is call the phone company and put a block on the unwanted calls. They should then inform the ex-daughter-in-law about the route they took to rid themselves of what is a nerve-wracking intrusion. Hope this helps.

— Ann from Louisiana

Dear Ann: Blocking calls can work, but it requires regular maintenance because debt collectors often will call from different numbers when the old ones are blocked. But it’s worth trying.

————

Happy Easter to all our Christian readers.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    UCD admits record number; 4,284 from abroad

    By Cory Golden | From Page: A1

     
    Hub of activity: DHS newspaper keeps evolving

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    A springtime ritual

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Tom Adams seeks Davis school board seat

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1

    Holy fire ceremony draws thousands in Jerusalem

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Tour renovated YCCC facility Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Tour Davis Waldorf School on Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    The fifth annual Tour de Cluck is soon to be hatched

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Ortiz lawn signs available

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sign up soon for spring cooking classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Robb Davis team to rally on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Steadfast in their support

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Yolo Hospice offers free grief workshops

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sign up for Camp Kesem caterpillar crawl

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Quilters gear up for annual show

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A4

    League hosts a series of candidate forums

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    KDVS launches fund drive on Monday

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

    Calling all Scrabble fans

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Hub webpage is seeing traffic increasing

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

    Lescroart welcomes all to book-launch party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A16 | Gallery

     
    DEVO set to serve up 14th annual Winkler Dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16 | Gallery

    Learn Chinese crafts at I-House

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A16

     
    Preschool open house set at Davis Waldorf

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    Birch Lane celebrates its 50th anniversary

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

     
    Hotel/conference center info meeting set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    .

    Forum

    Take ownership of your health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Keep your baby safe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Reliving the agony and ecstasy of spring

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

     
    Road diet? No, city diet!

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 2 Comments

     
    We’re reveling in our equality

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

    Vote no; it’s fiscally responsible

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

     
    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    Core values on campus

    By Our View | From Page: A12

     
    Bill is an affront to UC Davis ag biotech and local farmers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13

    Don’t want to sit in Fix 50 traffic? Consider alternatives

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

     
    .

    Sports

     
    UCD softball shut out by Santa Barbara

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Aggie men shoot 9-under, lead own tourney

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Stars shine in Woody Wilson Classic

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Devils burn up the track

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD roundup: Aggie baseball swept away by Highlanders

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    A’s score 3 in ninth, rally past Astros 4-3

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Yolo Federal Credit Union gets WISH funds

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    PG&E pays taxes, fees to county, cities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9, 1 Comment

    Will Davis get an Old Soul?

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9

     
    Pediatricians, nurse practitioner hired at Woodland Healthcare

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Asian stocks mostly higher after mixed U.S. earnings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Roots will showcase its graduating startups

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14

    University Honda wins another President’s Award

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

     
    Dutch Bros. raises $19,000 for girl with leukemia

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, April 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8