Wednesday, October 22, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Mom bails on her family

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | September 04, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My daughter has been married for 14 years to a wonderful, successful, caring husband, and they have four beautiful children. But she recently moved out of their home. I can’t believe it.

Everyone could tell the marriage wasn’t going that well in the past year, but we thought it was the usual ups and downs. Then my daughter started spending a lot of evenings with her girlfriends and staying out until the wee hours. She also became secretive and not the loving, open daughter she had been.

I asked her to see a doctor, thinking maybe she was depressed, but also to check her thyroid because I have hypothyroidism and so did her grandmother. But she told me to stay out of it, that it’s between her and her husband. She says there’s no abuse, drugs or alcohol, and I believe her. But I think she is seeing someone on the side. She says she just doesn’t love her husband anymore.

I asked her to please go to counseling or speak to their pastor, and she said no. She told me to leave them alone and let them work it out. Now she says the split is permanent. I am devastated and angry with my daughter. She left the kids with her husband, and she’s moved in with her sister. I cannot believe she would do this.

I see the kids two or three times a week when I babysit. My daughter has asked me to support her in this decision, but I just can’t. What do I do?

— Beyond Sad

Dear Beyond: We know this is breaking your heart, but you must try your best to stay out of it. Whatever problems are going on in your daughter’s marriage are hers to deal with, good or bad. Try to spend time with the children, especially if you can bring them to your house, giving them a stable, calm place to visit. But don’t take sides. The best you can do is talk to your other daughter and ask that she encourage her sister not to rush into anything she’ll regret.

————

Dear Annie: We went to a family wedding last month. The ceremony was scheduled for 2 p.m., but the wedding party didn’t show up until an hour later. The reception was at another location, and dinner was supposed to start at 5:30, but the wedding party showed up at 7. No one ate until 8.

We thought this was inconsiderate and rude. There was no good reason why the wedding party was late for the ceremony and supper. Her 90-year-old grandfather and his 86-year-old grandmother and numerous seniors as well as young children all had to wait for the wedding party to show up. What do you think about this?

— Saskatchewan, Canada

Dear Canada: We, too, think this is rude and inconsiderate. There’s an amazingly selfish trend these days where some brides, grooms and attendants erroneously believe they are entitled to have a “before party” (although generally not before the ceremony, as well) because it’s “their” night. They delay arriving at their own reception, often by hours. In that case, they should not invite guests to share in the celebration, because obviously, the guests are not included in it. Unless the bridal party had a good reason for the delay, we’d have gone home.

————

Dear Annie: You had a letter from “Any Light at the End of My Tunnel?” whose husband is controlling. I was in the same situation, and all I can say is: If you love your children, leave now! You will find help.

I finally left after he threw a plate in my face, but unfortunately, it was too late for my kids, as I watched two out of the three enter into exactly the same kind of abusive relationship they saw growing up. You have a chance for your children to learn a better way of life.

— Been There, Done That

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

.

News

Marathon specialist Winter heads to cycling shrine

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
County to fund pilot project for West Sac homeless

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

A favorite autumn tradition

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Terez will perform at Wine’d Down Thursday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Apply soon to be a Master Gardener

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Super-fun 5K run will support UCD students

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Davis Arts Center: a call to artists for Holiday Sale Wall of Art

By Erie Vitiello | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Author showcases field biology as he revels in nature

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Entries due Nov. 1 in VFW essay contests

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Teen services grant applications due this week

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

 
Voice of the Wood plans family Halloween show

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Garamendi will speak at U.N. Day event

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Wine-tasting and auction benefit Advanced Treble Choir

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

 
Composting workshop set at Grace Garden

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Farmers Market hosts Fall Festival

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
A Taste of India dinner benefits Davis Community Meals

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Wolk sets ‘Morning with the Mayor’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Volunteers sought to chip in on parks cleanup

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Setting a good example

By Sue Cockrell | From Page: A5

 
Kids form a lifelong habit of drinking water

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Women and men want the same things in cars … usually

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
California state parks show off fall color

By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: A7

October is fall car care month

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
Halloween Carnival planned Oct. 26

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Soda bottlers spend big to fight S.F. ban

By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A9

 
Mondavi Center gift shop plans holiday sale

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Railroad work will close Eighth Street

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

 
Special education information night scheduled

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9

Clinton sounding like a candidate in S.F. appearance

By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A12

 
.

Forum

 
Vote no on Prop. 1, because it’s no solution

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

David Fitzsimmons cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A8

 
.

Sports

UCD women’s soccer postseason hopes flickering

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
A typical Blue Devil girls water polo win

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

DHS boys hold off Rio Americano in the pool

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Devils are on track for volleyball playoffs after win

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Giants rip Royals in Game 1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
AYSO roundup: Local winners have the Eye of the Tiger

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Alliance/Legacy roundup: Italia cruises past Chico

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: Fipps earns another preseason hoops award

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

.

Features

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Mariana Brumbaugh Henwood

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics