Sunday, February 1, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

My Internet addiction puts on a new face

MarionFranckW

By
From page A17 | February 17, 2013 |

Email is the gateway drug. Facebook is where you end up.

“Lurking” on Facebook you begin. “Posting,” “liking,” and “commenting” is where you end up.

And once you’re there, just as with other drugs, you respond to a new master. Your life is no longer your own.

I tell this story from the point of view of an older person, because that’s what I am. Facebook is a different phenomenon if you’re young. People under 30 have had Facebook in their lives since college and if they are addicted to it—many are—they may not experience the same kind of discomfort as an older person, at least not this older person.

I joined Facebook in 2006 but rarely visited the site. I never read everything, only what happened to be recently posted. Three years later, when Facebook offered two ways to respond to other people’s news or photos (“liking” or “commenting”), I rarely did.

Facebook sends reminders about birthdays, but with dozens of “friends,” I would have needed to send birthday greetings every three days. I didn’t do it.

I continued in this state for a long time — lurking, as they say — and responded only one out of 25 times to posts by other people.

Recently, two things changed.

I’m not sure why, but I began checking Facebook more often (about once a day) and spending more time there. I found myself clicking over to links, scrolling through photo collections, and reading more text.

I’m tippling Facebook, devoting a bit too much time.

Last week marked a second stage in my burgeoning addiction. I suddenly felt that I had not been sufficiently polite to my Facebook friends, who now number 154, with two dozen designated “close.” Why didn’t I respond to them more often?

I consider myself a pretty polite person. I open doors for strangers, send “thank you” notes on real paper (sometimes), and I try to follow the “rules” of conversation, giving the other person more than enough time to speak. I always respond to personal emails, even if only in a few words.

But Facebook was one place where it never occurred to me to be polite — until now.

The seed was planted two or three years ago when my son-in-law said, “Marion, why don’t you post once in a while?” I soon realized that the picture-sharing opportunities on Facebook are pretty amazing and perhaps less pushy than pulling out a flipbook of snapshots when you run into an acquaintance at the supermarket.

I learned how to post photos of my grandsons, and the next thing I knew people responded. (By “next thing I knew,” I mean that literally. Responses sometimes arrive within seconds.) Nowadays, I get as many as ten “likes” within the first hour of posting, plus a few typed comments.

I enjoy remarks like “adorable,” “sweet” or “makes me smile,” even from people I hardly know.

By responding quickly, these folks reveal that they spend a lot of time on Facebook but most people do not seem embarrassed by that. In fact, I sense that for some people Facebook becomes, at least for a while, a primary pleasure. They post photos, forward political statements, share humorous videos or comment on other people’s posts so extensively that they show up on my “news feed” 15 times in a row.

I’d be embarrassed to have the world know I spent so much time on Facebook, but then again, what’s wrong with being social on line if you enjoy it? Some of the personal posts are touching and some of the funny posts are hilarious and I would miss all of them if not for Facebook.

My new attention to politeness is, however, more insidious, as if Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has made an incision and is crawling into my brain. Suddenly I feel the need to respond to other people’s postings. How can I let them send me birthday greetings and tell me my grandsons are precious without responding in kind? Am I, who am polite in public, choosing to be a Facebook boar?

A young friend told me, “Don’t worry about politeness on Facebook. No one else does,” but she’s speaking for her generation.

So I’ve started “liking” other people’s photos more often. I’m logging into Facebook, sometimes more than once a day, scrolling through posts in order not to ignore anyone, and writing comments because a mere button click of “liking” doesn’t feel like enough.

Is this what I mean to do with my free time? Last week, after posting a new grandchild photo, I checked for responses 10 times. While at it, I also “liked” and “commented” on other people’s stuff.

Dinner was late.

I feel as if I have come out from behind a tree and am suddenly skiing down a mountain at top speed, high on something, although I’m not sure what. How do I stop?

— Marion Franck lives in Davis with her family. Reach her at [email protected]

Comments

comments

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Well-loved library has services for all ages

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    The end of an era for The Enterprise, as pressroom closes

    By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Jewish fraternity vandalism classified a hate crime

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

    Man arrested after body parts found in suitcase

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Islamists post beheading video

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    More than a foot of snow possible for Midwest, Northeast

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
     
    UCD Med Center patient tested negative for Ebola

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Kudos to the Thomsons

    By Sue Cockrell | From Page: A3

     
    Arboretum ‘I do’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    The story of Mark and Maria

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Summer lovin’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Stories come alive at the library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

    Stepping Stones supports grieving youths

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9Comments are off for this post

     
    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Japanese students seek Davis host families

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    And bingo was the game-o

    By Tate Perez | From Page: A9

    Lee will speak Wednesday about city issues

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Training starts Tuesday for Jepson Prairie Preserve tour guides

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Lecture looks at women in Egypt

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

     
    Questions and answers about breast cancer set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    Davis Arts Center welcomes students’ work

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Tuleyome Tales: Searching for the elusive McNab cypress

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Three old ideas going, going, gone

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A10

     
    How much drinking is too much?

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    They’re experienced and honest

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

    Toy drive was a big success

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

     
    One-way street solves dilemma

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

    Council, follow your own policies

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

     
    Ensure that you’re protected against measles

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

    Act would let patients control their own fates

    By Our View | From Page: A12

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

    Wi-Fi in our schools could result in health impacts

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13

     
    Life goes on in Rutilio Grande, despite country’s gang violence

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13 | Gallery

    .

    Sports

     
    Depth charge: DHS girls defeat Elk Grove

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Blue Devil boys lose on Herd’s buzzer-beating trey

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD women survive against winless UCSB

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Foursome will represent Davis at national soccer tournament

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD roundup: Aggies make a racket but fall to Sac State, Pacific

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Kings get past Pacers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    Sharks blank Blackhawks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Doby Fleeman: Toward a more perfect Davis

    By Doby Fleeman | From Page: A12

     
    Ullrich Delevati, CPAs, adds senior accountant

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

    And the survey says: Success for Davis Chamber

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    Putah Creek Winery launches ‘Give Back Tuesday’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

    Seminar will cover business challenges

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A13

     
    Japanese fondue dips into Davis scene

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A13 | Gallery

    Novozymes, Cargill continue bio-acrylic acid partnership as BASF exits

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, February 1, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B8