Sunday, April 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Niece’s situation tough to swallow

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I’m concerned about my sister’s parenting style. “Sara” just went through a nasty divorce, so we let her move into a house we own next door, thinking it would help to have family close by.

Sara’s kids spend a great deal of time with us. What worries me is my 7-year-old niece, “Andrea.” Andrea appears underweight for her age and height. When she has dinner here, she eats like she’s starving. Several weeks ago, Sara joined us for dinner, and I watched her dole out food for the kids. She gave her 5-year-old son a much bigger portion than she gave Andrea. When I mentioned it, Sara said the pediatrician warned her that Andrea is obese. I do not believe this for one second.

Andrea is sick all the time. Last week, when I was preparing the kids an after-school snack, Andrea started crying. She said she was really hungry, but if she ate anything, it would make her mother angry because she is “so fat.” I have never been so furious with my sister.

I spoke to the school social worker and was told there is little they can do. I also spoke to Sara about getting help, but she became hysterical and slapped Andrea for “telling tales.”

I’ve never seen Sara like this before. I called CPS, but I worry that Sara will take off with the kids before help can be provided. What else can I do?

— Big Sis

Dear Sis: Sara should not be slapping her daughter. You need to befriend your sister so that she trusts you and her children can turn to you for help. It’s difficult to ascertain whether Sara is still stressed from the divorce, simply needs better parenting skills or there is something else going on. You may be interpreting the food issues through your own subjective filter. Leave a message with the pediatrician’s office with your concerns. But please do not criticize and alienate Sara right now. Those kids need you. Be a safe haven for all of them.

————

Dear Annie: I am a married woman in my 50s, and I hate to be hugged. I’m sure it stems from my childhood, when my mother, who was not affectionate, forced me to hug relatives.

I have a friend in his mid-70s who’s a great guy, but he’s a hugger. “Henry” insists on grabbing everyone and giving them a bear hug. I have told him repeatedly that I don’t like this, but he doesn’t listen. He also hugs my husband, who has a bad back, and those bear hugs really hurt.

I’ve been avoiding Henry lately, but I miss him. Perhaps if he sees this in print, he might finally get it.

— Hate Being Hugged in Kansas

Dear Kansas: You will have to remind Henry each time he comes near you that you don’t want a hug. He has difficulty controlling his effusiveness, and until he can associate his hugging with negative consequences, he won’t stop. Gently put out your arm to distance him. Tell him he is hurting you. Cry out in pain if need be. Do whatever will make it extremely clear that you don’t like this and he must stop.

————

Dear Annie: Some responses to “Your Husband” indicated that he needed to try harder to be intimate with his wife. Maybe he did.

I tried talking to my wife. I shared and cleaned, went grocery shopping, did laundry and dishes. I took care of the kids while she went out shopping. Giving her flowers didn’t work, small gestures didn’t work, and talking about her day didn’t work. Seeing a therapist didn’t work. I didn’t cheat, because I didn’t want to lose my kids. Well, that didn’t work, either. She left with no explanation. It takes two to make a marriage work.

— Mark from N.C.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Hub of activity: DHS newspaper keeps evolving

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    A springtime ritual

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Tom Adams seeks Davis school board seat

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1

     
     
    Holy fire ceremony draws thousands in Jerusalem

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Tour renovated YCCC facility Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Tour Davis Waldorf School on Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    The fifth annual Tour de Cluck is soon to be hatched

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Ortiz lawn signs available

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sign up soon for spring cooking classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Robb Davis team to rally on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Steadfast in their support

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4, 6 Comments | Gallery

     
    Yolo Hospice offers free grief workshops

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sign up for Camp Kesem caterpillar crawl

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Quilters gear up for annual show

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A4

    League hosts a series of candidate forums

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    KDVS launches fund drive on Monday

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

    Calling all Scrabble fans

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Hub webpage is seeing traffic increasing

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

    Learn Chinese crafts at I-House

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A16

     
    Preschool open house set at Davis Waldorf

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    Birch Lane celebrates its 50th anniversary

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

     
    Hotel/conference center info meeting set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    Lescroart welcomes all to book-launch party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A16 | Gallery

     
    DEVO set to serve up 14th annual Winkler Dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Take ownership of your health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Not thrilled with lack of symmetry

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Reliving the agony and ecstasy of spring

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

     
    Keep your baby safe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    Road diet? No, city diet!

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 4 Comments

    We’re reveling in our equality

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

     
    Vote no; it’s fiscally responsible

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    Core values on campus

    By Our View | From Page: A12

     
    Bill is an affront to UC Davis ag biotech and local farmers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

    Don’t want to sit in Fix 50 traffic? Consider alternatives

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

     
    .

    Sports

    UCD softball shut out by Santa Barbara

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie men shoot 9-under, lead own tourney

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Stars shine in Woody Wilson Classic

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    Devils burn up the track

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD roundup: Aggie baseball swept away by Highlanders

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    A’s score 3 in ninth, rally past Astros 4-3

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    PG&E pays taxes, fees to county, cities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9, 1 Comment

     
    Will Davis get an Old Soul?

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9

    Pediatricians, nurse practitioner hired at Woodland Healthcare

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Asian stocks mostly higher after mixed U.S. earnings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

    Yolo Federal Credit Union gets WISH funds

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Roots will showcase its graduating startups

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14

    University Honda wins another President’s Award

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

     
    Dutch Bros. raises $19,000 for girl with leukemia

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, April 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8