Sunday, August 31, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Not feeling the holiday spirit

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | July 15, 2014 |

Dear Annie: Every year, my grandmother and I go to my cousins’ house for Christmas. This year is different for me. I have had the miracle of God helping me overcome some major addictions in my life.

I’ve expressed to my uncle that I do not feel like I know who my cousins are now that we are adults and have lost touch to some extent. There are also economic differences. My income is near the poverty level, and I receive government assistance. My cousins, however, are financially successful. I have made attempts to meet with them, but it never happens.

They are not into religion, and I believe they are controlled by materialism. (My aunt and uncle give me cash for Christmas.) I also notice that they do not open presents in front of us. I feel like a stranger who just shows up for a free meal and to get “paid.” I think that going there cheapens the importance that this day has for me. I would rather go where they feed the homeless and be an example unto them.

— Trying To Keep my Dignity

Dear Trying: While we agree that the holiday season includes rampant materialism, you are being awfully harsh in your judgment of the relatives. The meal and exchanging of gifts is traditional in most families. Not opening presents is sometimes a way to avoid embarrassing someone whose gift may not be as fancy as someone else’s. Giving cash is a way of providing a gift when you aren’t sure what the other person likes and you want to please them.

These are all kind and thoughtful gestures, and we aren’t sure why you don’t harbor more charitable thoughts toward your family. However, if going to your cousins’ makes you miserable and you would rather spend the holiday feeding the homeless, we certainly wouldn’t try to dissuade you. We wish more people would lend a hand to those in need.

————

Dear Annie: My grandson and his family live in another state. His daughter, “Mary,” is having her first birthday soon, and since it is not possible for me to be there in person, I went online to the websites of two major stores and ordered gifts from each store and had them delivered. I let them know the packages were on the way. When the packages were received, they called and said the gifts arrived and added, “Thank you for the presents.”

I realize that I am lucky to have gotten that much acknowledgement. But since I went to the trouble of picking out things I thought Mary would like, it is too much to ask that they at least tell me what they think? Could they not have said, “She loved playing with the toys,” or “The dress was so cute”?

Am I expecting too much? I could have gotten the same response with less effort if I had just sent a gift card.

— Picky Grandma

Dear Picky: A proper thank-you includes specific comments about the gift, even if just to say how thoughtful it was. And if you are comfortable asking, you can inquire whether Mary liked the toys and dress. But, sorry to say, we suspect a gift card would please her parents just as much.

————

Dear Annie: I have a suggestion for “Thought I Was Part of a Large Family,” who feels distant from her siblings: Go to the reunion with a different focus. Take along family group sheets, which you can get at your local library or through Ancestry.com. Distribute one to each family to fill out, and have them return the sheets to you during the reunion. That way, if you never go to another reunion, you still will have a lot of family information. Be sure they add their email addresses.

This could bring the family closer together. It is a beginning, not an ending.

— Retired Genealogist

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Davis audience hears from civil-rights hero

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Legislators wrap up with water, ethics, guns bills

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Bob Dunning: This new kid might have a future

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

    Five U.S. airstrikes target Islamic State fighters

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    EU threatens Russia with more sanctions

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Rotary clubs offer Davis High students some life lessons

    By Evan Arnold-Gordon | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Robbery, pursuit in Central Davis lead to one arrest

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

    Bauer garden marks one year

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Dinner will raise funds to help farmers in Burkina Faso

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Walkers welcome to join Sierra Club outings

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Beamer Park featured at Stroll Through History

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Yolo Federal to hold photo contest

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Katehi will speak at Chamber’s community luncheon

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Bean Feed supports for Yolo Democrats’ activities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Tuleyome Tales: Be safe on wilderness trails

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Small wineries suffer big losses in quake

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    Grande site has been a convoluted saga

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A7

     
    Say goodbye to summer with a ‘Final Blast’ at Explorit

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Bay Bridge project’s rainy-day money is nearly gone

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A15 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Already made herself at home

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Ad-free email? You can still find it at Davis Community Network

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Keep our green waste piles

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    How to make a good living

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Nate Beeler cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

     
    Changing local election dates benefits Democrats

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A10

    City panel working to tighten scrutiny of taxpayer dollars

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    Try round-robin storytelling at crafts fair

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

    Speak out

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Health problems mean he’s checked out

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A14

    Marriage doesn’t mean we agree on everything

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A14

     
    This epidemic should scare us

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14

    .

    Sports

    New coach, new tougher league for DHS football

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Coach likes what she sees from Devil field hockey squad

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UCD notebook: Coaches positive about FCS schools ‘playing up’

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils open with an impressive volleyball victory

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Stanford scores early, often in opener versus UCD

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Aggie harriers secure season-opening sweep

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Baseball roundup: Cats win late to pull even with Aces

    By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B8

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Comings and Goings: Is fro-yo craze melting?

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A13 | Gallery

     
    Sutter Davis Hospital honored again as a ‘best place to work’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13

    Community pools its purchasing power to reduce the cost of solar

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A20

     
    Engage3 attracts investment for shopping app

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A20

    California growers can use MBI’s new bioinsecticide

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A20

     
    Sudwerk, Davis Food Co-op join for ‘co-hop-eration’ brew

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A20 | Gallery

    .

    Obituaries

    Wanda P. Daley

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, August 31, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8