Friday, October 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

They aren’t exactly the Brady Bunch

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | October 22, 2011 |

Dear Annie: A few years ago, I married a wonderful, thoughtful, caring man. It was a second marriage for both of us. When we were dating, everything seemed to be perfect. His two sons are grown and out of the house, and he has two teenage girls still at home. My son was so excited to have brothers and sisters. I truly believed our families could mesh.

The big problem is, we cannot have the family together because his children are completely rude. When my son comes over or walks into the room, his children refuse to acknowledge his existence. They won’t talk to him.

I have spoken with my husband about this numerous times, and he always makes excuses for them. My son is very hurt, and it is hard on me. His children’s inconsiderate treatment of my son is driving a wedge between us. My son no longer wishes to attend family functions, because no one will speak to him except me.

These children are old enough to know better. But I have come to resent all of them and don’t want any family events where my son isn’t welcome. What more can I do?

— Lost and Confused in Texas

Dear Texas: Your husband should have put the kibosh on this treatment when it first started. His children don’t have to like your son, but they should treat him with respect, the same way they would like to be treated. It is unconscionable that he allows this to continue. Tell him to put his spine back in and insist that his children behave with decency before it destroys your marriage. Also check the National Stepfamily Resource Center (stepfamilies.info) to see whether there is a support group in your area.

————

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been together for nine years. His parents are divorced. His mother has always made me feel welcome, but I have never been comfortable around my father-in-law. He is cold and doesn’t acknowledge me. I am less than thrilled when we have to go to his house.

Two years ago, I had a hysterectomy. My father-in-law called later in the week and acted offended that no one had informed him that the surgery went well. But, Annie, even my husband didn’t think the man would care a whit.

Is it acceptable for me to simply bow out of the picture? My husband and kids can spend time with my father-in-law, but I’d rather not. I find it painful to be around him. How do I communicate this without causing a rift?

— Outsider

Dear Outsider: Some people give the impression of being remote, when in reality, they are socially awkward. Your father-in-law may care very much, but doesn’t know how to show it, so he appears aloof. Since he is family and his major flaw is coldness, not meanness, we’d suggest putting up with it when you can. That means seeing Dad once every third visit or so. That should be enough to maintain the relationship, while still giving you some respite.

————

Dear Annie: You printed a letter from “Naive in the Midwest,” whose 70-something friend suddenly began propositioning the other (married) women in his social group. It was threatening their friendship of many years. Thank you for suggesting that she tell his wife to get him to a doctor because such behavior could indicate a stroke or dementia.

Late in life, my father began making odd sexual comments, telling off-color jokes and sending my siblings and me inappropriate birthday cards. Only after he died of a massive stroke did we learn he had been suffering small strokes for quite a while. Seeing his doctor may save their friendship — and his life.

— Also In The Midwest

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

UC researchers: How low-water can our landscapes go?

By Katie F. Hetrick | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Testimony begins in Winters murder trial

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

A-Z: Downtown Davis is the place to celebrate

By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: C1

 
Courageous Thompson tapped for cycling shrine

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Hong Kong protesters to vote on staying in streets

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Cloud business lifts Microsoft’s quarterly results

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Scientists work to save endangered desert mammal

By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Host families needed for students and teachers from Mexico

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Halloween Dance set Friday for teens

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Yoga and chanting workshop planned

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Downtown menu: coffee, boba tea, dessert

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: C3

 
Enjoy A Taste of Capay at historic ranch

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Red-hot tunes set at Blues Harvest

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Learn how to fill a cornucopia with flowers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Video highlights Props. 1 and 2

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
‘Homeopathy at Home’ program planned

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Celebrate origami at Davis library

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Garden sale and open house features water-wise demos

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: C4

Meet Poppenga at dog park Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Day of the Dead folk art class set

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Flea Market planned Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Bay Bridge art project needs $4 million to keep shining

By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Weir honored, a year early

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Explorit: Poison-proof your home with free lecture

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A6

For a good cause

By Fred Gladdis | From Page: A6

 
Americans, internationals make connections

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

School board hopefuls discuss homework policy

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A7

 
Sutter auxiliary seeks volunteers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Walkers welcome to join Sierra Club outings

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Project Linus seeks donations

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

.

Forum

The magic is long gone

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Water returns to its source

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

A solution to the drought

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Experience nature’s treasures

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Subs have other concerns

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

 
What’s next with Ebola?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

More theories on the abstention

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Rights beget responsibilities

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

.

Sports

Bump, set, playoffs: Blue Devil girls clinch spot in postseason

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Aggies expect a bonny meeting in Sacramento

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

DHS footballers take on Pleasant Grove

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Bye No. 2 comes at perfect time for nicked-up UCD

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Shhh. Are Aggie women BWC’s best-kept secret?

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
UCD roundup: Preseason awards roll in for Aggie hoopster Hawkins

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Sharks suffer from road woes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12

.

Features

.

Arts

‘St. Vincent:’ Quite a character

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Rumpledethumps to play at Village Homes Performers’ Circle

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11 | Gallery

DMTC plans ‘My Fair Lady’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

 
Czech Philharmonic Orchestra to perform

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Calling all artists for upcoming show

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Business

 
Car Care: Five things to ask yourself when shopping for a new vehicle

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B7

.

Obituaries

Lewis Melvin Dudman

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Ann Foley Scheuring

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, October 24, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B3