Tuesday, January 27, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Nothing to hide, so stop looking

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 11, 2014 |

Dear Annie: A few years ago, my wife went out of town for a conference. A month after she returned, I was on our computer and noticed that she hadn’t logged out of her email. My curiosity got the best of me, and I saw that she had traded emails with an old boyfriend. I then discovered that the two of them had met while she was at the conference. One of her last emails to him said, “I still have feelings for you.”

On the advice of a marriage counselor, I was direct with her about it. She claimed nothing happened and that they only met for dinner and said she would never contact him again. She also was angry that I had invaded her privacy.

Last year, my wife and I hit a rough patch. I got suspicious of her behavior and checked her cellphone. I saw that she had exchanged multiple texts with this same guy. Again, she claims nothing happened, the texts were innocent and I had no right to snoop.

My wife knows the password to my email, and I never lock my cellphone. All of my communication is an open book. Meanwhile, she now locks her phone and has multiple email accounts. I understand the need for a little privacy, but I don’t believe you should be hiding things in a committed relationship. My wife is angry that I don’t trust her, and I’m having trouble dealing with this. Any advice?

— Broken Up

Dear Broken: We don’t trust your wife, either. She promised not to contact this man again and then did so and hid it from you. She locks her phone and has multiple email accounts to which you apparently do not have the passwords. Worse, to deflect blame, she accuses you of snooping. There may not have been a sexual affair, but it definitely sounds like an emotional attachment. Please go back to your counselor and ask your wife to come with you. The two of you need a refresher course on how to make your marriage work and regain trust.

————

Dear Annie: I own a small casual restaurant in a small town. People order at the counter and then take their food to a table to eat.

In the past couple of years, I’ve noticed more people bringing in food from other establishments and eating at our place. I don’t understand why people think it’s OK to take advantage of an eating establishment like this. Don’t they realize that the owner is paying for the incidental items they use, such as napkins? Don’t they see that they are taking up space that could be used by people who are actually helping to pay the bills incurred by the restaurant? Am I looking at the situation in the wrong way?

— No Free Lunch

Dear No: We suspect most people have no clue that this is an inconvenience to you. There are some establishments that allow people to sit for extended lengths of time without ordering, but we know of none that encourage you to bring your own food. Most restaurants require a minimum order to justify the use of the space. We suggest you implement this policy with a sign at each table and at the cash register. You may have to approach flouters with a bill, but word will get around.

————

Dear Annie: This is for “Tired,” who does all the cooking for the holiday meals and then gets stuck with the cleanup, too. I have a good friend in the same situation. She is on good terms with all of her family members, but they never helped or knew what to do. So she wrote up duties, put them on little pieces of paper and placed the pieces into a nice dish. When each guest arrived, they picked out a paper and read their duty for that meal. They loved it, and she was not so worn out.

— DLT

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

 

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Interfaith event focuses on justice

    By Fred Gladdis | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    In vino veritas: A criminal case and intrigue in Napa Valley

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Parking lawsuit may be more than meets the eye

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

     
    Share your love (story) with us

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Workshop offers tips on GoPro cameras

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sutter Davis Hospital seeks volunteer doulas

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Winter produce, treats available at Wednesday market

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Have a ‘Heart to Heart’ with Dr. G

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Apply now for Soroptimist service grants

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Learn nature photography from an expert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Thorp receives UCD’s Distinguished Emeritus Award

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Innovation opportunities on the agenda

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Apply now to be on Davis’ coop crawl

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Seed swap set Friday at Davis Cemetery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    VFW post plans Valentine’s Day Heroes Breakfast

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Storyteller relies on nature as his subject on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Gerber nominations open now

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Forum

    Taking turns as the halfway house

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    A family was torn apart, but we survived

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6 | Gallery

     
    Locals will join march for climate change

    By Michelle Millet | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Anatomy of a hoops collapse: can Aggie men handle the pressure?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Four DHS wrestlers soar at McClellan Air Force Base

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Aggie women almost get a sweep of Portland tennis teams

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD women need to get in gear for a basketball road trip

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UCD swims past Santa Barbara

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Eat ribs for the Davis Aquadarts

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    Name Droppers: Lea Rosenberg leads Odd Fellows

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    .

    Arts

    DHS Idol finals will be a tough competition

    By Krystal Lau | From Page: A9

     
    Wynonna Judd will perform Feb. 13 in Vacaville

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    ‘Ideation’ a funny, dark, thrilling farce — and more

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, January 27, 2015 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, January 27, 2015 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7