Thursday, April 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Nothing to hide, so stop looking

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: A few years ago, my wife went out of town for a conference. A month after she returned, I was on our computer and noticed that she hadn’t logged out of her email. My curiosity got the best of me, and I saw that she had traded emails with an old boyfriend. I then discovered that the two of them had met while she was at the conference. One of her last emails to him said, “I still have feelings for you.”

On the advice of a marriage counselor, I was direct with her about it. She claimed nothing happened and that they only met for dinner and said she would never contact him again. She also was angry that I had invaded her privacy.

Last year, my wife and I hit a rough patch. I got suspicious of her behavior and checked her cellphone. I saw that she had exchanged multiple texts with this same guy. Again, she claims nothing happened, the texts were innocent and I had no right to snoop.

My wife knows the password to my email, and I never lock my cellphone. All of my communication is an open book. Meanwhile, she now locks her phone and has multiple email accounts. I understand the need for a little privacy, but I don’t believe you should be hiding things in a committed relationship. My wife is angry that I don’t trust her, and I’m having trouble dealing with this. Any advice?

— Broken Up

Dear Broken: We don’t trust your wife, either. She promised not to contact this man again and then did so and hid it from you. She locks her phone and has multiple email accounts to which you apparently do not have the passwords. Worse, to deflect blame, she accuses you of snooping. There may not have been a sexual affair, but it definitely sounds like an emotional attachment. Please go back to your counselor and ask your wife to come with you. The two of you need a refresher course on how to make your marriage work and regain trust.

————

Dear Annie: I own a small casual restaurant in a small town. People order at the counter and then take their food to a table to eat.

In the past couple of years, I’ve noticed more people bringing in food from other establishments and eating at our place. I don’t understand why people think it’s OK to take advantage of an eating establishment like this. Don’t they realize that the owner is paying for the incidental items they use, such as napkins? Don’t they see that they are taking up space that could be used by people who are actually helping to pay the bills incurred by the restaurant? Am I looking at the situation in the wrong way?

— No Free Lunch

Dear No: We suspect most people have no clue that this is an inconvenience to you. There are some establishments that allow people to sit for extended lengths of time without ordering, but we know of none that encourage you to bring your own food. Most restaurants require a minimum order to justify the use of the space. We suggest you implement this policy with a sign at each table and at the cash register. You may have to approach flouters with a bill, but word will get around.

————

Dear Annie: This is for “Tired,” who does all the cooking for the holiday meals and then gets stuck with the cleanup, too. I have a good friend in the same situation. She is on good terms with all of her family members, but they never helped or knew what to do. So she wrote up duties, put them on little pieces of paper and placed the pieces into a nice dish. When each guest arrived, they picked out a paper and read their duty for that meal. They loved it, and she was not so worn out.

— DLT

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

 

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

News

 
4-H members get ready for Spring Show

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Will city move forward on public power review?

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
Obama to Russia: More sanctions are ‘teed up’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 1 Comment

 
2 pursuits, 2 arrests keep Woodland officers busy

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
 
Youth sports in focus on radio program

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Rummage sale will benefit preschool

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Concert benefits South Korea exchange

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Conference puts focus on Arab studies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Davis honors ‘green’ citizens

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Water rate assistance bill advances

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Program explores STEM careers for girls

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 3 Comments

 
Embroiderers plan a hands-on project

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Central Park Gardens to host Volunteer Orientation Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Volkssporting Club plans North Davis walks

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Hotel/conference center info meeting set

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
MOMS Club plans open house

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Cycle de Mayo benefits Center for Families

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

Author to read ‘The Cat Who Chose to Dream’

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A12

 
.

Forum

Things are turning sour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
The high cost of employment

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

High-five to Union Bank

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Broken sprinklers waste water

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Three more administrators?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Neustadt has experience for the job

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Here’s a plan to save big on employee costs

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6, 3 Comments

 
Davis is fair, thoughtful

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Ortiz is the right choice for Yolo

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

.

Sports

DHS tracksters sweep another DVC meet

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Another DVC blowout for DHS girls soccer

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1, 2 Comments | Gallery

Young reinvents his game to help Aggies improve on the diamond

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
DHS boys shuffle the deck to beat Cards

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

DHS/Franklin II is a close loss for Devil softballers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Baseball roundup: Giants slam Rockies in the 11th

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
UCD roundup: Aggies lose a softball game at Pacific

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

 
Jahn jumps to Sacramento Republic FC

By Evan Ream | From Page: B8

.

Features

.

Arts

Congressional art competition open to high school students

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Emerson, Da Vinci to present ‘Once Upon a Mattress’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Winters Plein Air Festival begins Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Bach Soloists wrap up season on April 28

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A11

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Thursday, April 24, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6