Wednesday, August 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Now he’s lost interest

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 15 years. Eight years ago, I was on an online message board. I was only hoping to have fun, talk about life and make online “friends.” But while on there, I met a man.

We started chatting online and then on the phone. I thought it was a simple flirtation. My husband had a job that kept him away a lot, and I was lonely and not thinking straight. Long story short, we ended up having an affair that lasted five years, on and off. I ended it three years ago when my husband found out. Fortunately, he forgave me, and we moved on.

The problem is, our sex life, which was never highly active, became nil. We haven’t had sex in three years. He loves me, and I love him. He says he forgives me and that he simply no longer desires sex — with anyone. I believe him. But I feel that I am still being punished for my indiscretion. I will never cheat on him again, but I wonder if this will be my life from now on. What can I do?

— Neglected Wife

Dear Wife: It’s possible that your husband is still angry with you. Forgiveness after an affair is a difficult and ongoing process. It takes a great deal of time. However, when you say your sex life was never particularly active, there could be more going on. Ask your husband to have his testosterone checked, and if that doesn’t help, please get counseling and work on this.

Dear Annie: I am 16, and as much as I am grateful for everything I have, I haven’t been feeling very well. I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m always exhausted, tired and weak, and sometimes nervous and anxious. Sometimes I am angry, and then a minute later, I’m calm, sad or cranky. I don’t enjoy doing anything anymore. My grades keep going down. I have a hard time concentrating and get distracted easily.

I do get headaches on occasion, and they are quite painful. When I was really sad, I stopped eating.

I feel lost. I don’t know what I am doing and just feel so down. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I can’t tell my parents because I’m afraid they will think I’m crazy. There is one teacher I could talk to, but I won’t see her until school starts. What should I do?

— Need Help

Dear Need: Some of your mood swings could be due to hormonal changes in your body, and the headaches could be related to your menstrual cycle. Lack of focus can be ADD. However, the exhaustion and weakness could indicate a physical problem. No one would think you are crazy if you start there.

Tell your parents that you aren’t feeling well. Say you have painful headaches and often feel weak. Ask them to make an appointment for you to see a doctor for a checkup, and then discuss all of these things with the physician. When school starts again, find that special teacher and ask when she is available for a private discussion.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Can’t Believe Adults Act This Way,” whose daughter just began her first teaching job and is having a nightmare year due to staff bullies. I could have written that, although in my case, the main bully was the principal. I received nasty emails from her on a daily basis, and she once called me into her office to say she didn’t like me.

The young teacher needs to ignore these bullies and try to do her job. If that becomes impossible, she should report it to the teachers union. It’s surprising how these administrators and fellow teachers can harass someone and then expect perfect performance. A union rep will handle the issue, and she’ll be represented by a trained advocate.

— Davenport, Iowa

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Summer jobs: a scramble for spots, extra cash

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Davis Arts Center gets a new look, thanks to Brooks

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Report details the face of hunger in Yolo County

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    ‘Monsters University’ to be screened in Central Park

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    California regulators approve PG&E rate hike

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

    America’s ‘it’ school? Look west, Harvard

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: B3

     
    School board preps for new academic year

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A3

    The big moveout, on ‘Davisville’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Sunder campaign will be at Farmers Market

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Classic car show slated in Woodland

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Students can practice safe bike routes to junior highs

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Public opinion sought about Nishi Gateway

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A4

     
    Davis Art Garage honored; bench dedication set

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    Woodland historical award winners announced

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

    .

    Forum

    Delta-friendly water bond is a win for all of California

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Bravo! The road diet works

    By Rich Rifkin | From Page: A6

    Support water bond in November

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Relay for Life team says thanks

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Crisp’s big hit helps A’s

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie QB Baty is back to pass … Touchdown, Tina! Tina?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    I’m not an ‘athlete’ but curling is hard

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1

     
    Hard hoops schedule features defending national champ at UCD

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UCD roundup: Aggie gymnasts are awesome at academics

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Sacramento scores early to snap skid

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    Unplayable? Cubs, rain hand Giants a loss

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    .

    Features

    Food that travels well for cooking out

    By Julie Cross | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

     
    Visit Crawfish and Catfish Festival in Woodland

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    Artists invited to paint at Yolo Bypass Wildlife Area

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Goldberg, Milstein to play at Village Homes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    The voice on the CD comes alive at Music Together concert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Crowd funding campaign offers support for Art Theater of Davis

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Railroad museum will host Aberbach memorial

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Wednesday, August 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6