Tuesday, September 2, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Now she’s starting to wonder …

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | May 09, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’m starting to wonder about my son-in-law, “Pete.” He married my daughter some 40 years ago when he was fresh out of the Navy. I was concerned that they had no savings and he had no job training. But he was quiet and likable. Through the years, however, people I respect have called Pete “no good,” ”a bum,” ”lazy” and “a snake in the grass.” My daughter and grandsons worked and sacrificed to put Pete through college.

One of their boys recently got his girlfriend pregnant, and neither Pete nor my daughter did anything to help that girl. I gave them $500 for a blood test, but they didn’t follow through. I am worried about Pete’s integrity, but also about that of my daughter, who is not doing the right thing. What should I do?

— Worried Grandma

Dear Grandma: Your daughter and Pete have been married for 40 years. It’s a little late to be worried about his influence on her or how they have raised their mostly-grown children. Might your grandson marry this girl? Will he at least help raise the child and pay support? (He is legally liable for that.)

Please don’t use this moment to chastise your daughter or Pete. It won’t do any good and could damage the relationship you have. Instead, encourage your grandson to take an active role in his child’s life. You could help the young couple financially if you like, and we hope you will welcome your great-grandchild. Stay out of the rest.

————

Dear Annie: I am in my late 60s, and my husband is in his 70s. It’s a second marriage for both of us. We keep our assets separate so as to provide for our individual families when we are deceased.

Here is the problem: preplanning. I have arranged to have a small insurance policy to pay for my funeral expenses when the time comes. I also have written out specific instructions for my sons regarding my funeral, burial, etc. There would be no decisions left for them to deal with while they are grieving.

However, I cannot get my husband to do the same. He has not earmarked any special funds for his funeral, nor has he any instructions for his children to follow. He won’t even talk about it.

This is so unfair, not only to them, but also to me. I would like his children to take care of the details for his final resting so they are satisfied with the arrangements. Also, they should have immediate funds at their disposal to deal with the costs. The way it stands now, I would be responsible for everything.

It hurts me deeply that he will not see how valuable preplanning is in preventing family squabbles. I will let him read your response.

— Wife Left Up in the Air

Dear Wife: Some people have a difficult time planning for their eventual demise. They fear doing so will hasten their death. Others find it too distasteful, and they procrastinate. But you are right: It saves the survivors a great deal of stress and aggravation to know that things are taken care of. We suggest you talk to your husband’s children about this and see whether they can get their father to help them out.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Only Child in Massachusetts,” the woman who loved being an only child, and I have to say it hasn’t been pleasant for me. There were some good things, like not having to share with anyone and having your parents to yourself. But when my parents passed away, I had to lean heavily on my husband, who was wonderful.

When I married, I told my husband I wanted to have more than one child. Now my husband is gone, and my children are busy with their own lives. They miss having cousins, aunts and uncles, and I would give anything to have a sibling to talk to.

— Thankful for My Family

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

.

News

 
Davis is not immune: Are you ready for a big quake?

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Planning begins for Davis Neighbors’ Night Out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

Sword-attack suspect awaiting trial in Davis

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
6 militants killed in U.S. strike in Somalia

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

San Francisco is first to test urban farming law

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Learn about RNA at Science Café

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Google Glass will be discussed, demonstrated

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Tickets still available for DHS Hall of Fame dinner

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Cuddle up at Project Linus’ meeting

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Public opinion sought about Nishi Gateway

By Lily Holmes | From Page: A3

 
International folk dancing offered Sundays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Got bikes? Donate ‘em!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Rose garden bricks to be dedicated Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

It’s About Time plays Davis Farmers Market’s Picnic in the Park

By Anthony Siino | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Register year-round at Davis Chinese School

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

 
.

Forum

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A4

 
Have the facts before you judge

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Tesla has state walking a tightrope

By Tom Elias | From Page: A4

 
Special-needs passengers ignored

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

A cure for Davis’ problems

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

 
A good use for the MRAP

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

Marriage vs. male instinct

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

DHS boys looking to replicate a big cross country performance

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Life without MacDonald starts Friday for DHS

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Clark recalls his hole-in-one — the first at Davis Golf Course

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Fruits of their Labor Day

By Sue Cockrell | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
UCD roundup: Aggies edge Quinnipiac in overtime

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

Sports briefs: Hot Shots basketball tryouts coming up

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

 
Baseball roundup: Aces end River Cats’ season

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B3

Junior Blue Devils strong in home debut, winning 3 on the field

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Elaine Dracia Greenberg

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
.

Comics

Comics: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 (set 1)

By Creator | From Page: B5

 
Comics: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 (set 2)

By Creator | From Page: B7