Sunday, December 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Now she’s starting to wonder …

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | May 09, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’m starting to wonder about my son-in-law, “Pete.” He married my daughter some 40 years ago when he was fresh out of the Navy. I was concerned that they had no savings and he had no job training. But he was quiet and likable. Through the years, however, people I respect have called Pete “no good,” ”a bum,” ”lazy” and “a snake in the grass.” My daughter and grandsons worked and sacrificed to put Pete through college.

One of their boys recently got his girlfriend pregnant, and neither Pete nor my daughter did anything to help that girl. I gave them $500 for a blood test, but they didn’t follow through. I am worried about Pete’s integrity, but also about that of my daughter, who is not doing the right thing. What should I do?

— Worried Grandma

Dear Grandma: Your daughter and Pete have been married for 40 years. It’s a little late to be worried about his influence on her or how they have raised their mostly-grown children. Might your grandson marry this girl? Will he at least help raise the child and pay support? (He is legally liable for that.)

Please don’t use this moment to chastise your daughter or Pete. It won’t do any good and could damage the relationship you have. Instead, encourage your grandson to take an active role in his child’s life. You could help the young couple financially if you like, and we hope you will welcome your great-grandchild. Stay out of the rest.

————

Dear Annie: I am in my late 60s, and my husband is in his 70s. It’s a second marriage for both of us. We keep our assets separate so as to provide for our individual families when we are deceased.

Here is the problem: preplanning. I have arranged to have a small insurance policy to pay for my funeral expenses when the time comes. I also have written out specific instructions for my sons regarding my funeral, burial, etc. There would be no decisions left for them to deal with while they are grieving.

However, I cannot get my husband to do the same. He has not earmarked any special funds for his funeral, nor has he any instructions for his children to follow. He won’t even talk about it.

This is so unfair, not only to them, but also to me. I would like his children to take care of the details for his final resting so they are satisfied with the arrangements. Also, they should have immediate funds at their disposal to deal with the costs. The way it stands now, I would be responsible for everything.

It hurts me deeply that he will not see how valuable preplanning is in preventing family squabbles. I will let him read your response.

— Wife Left Up in the Air

Dear Wife: Some people have a difficult time planning for their eventual demise. They fear doing so will hasten their death. Others find it too distasteful, and they procrastinate. But you are right: It saves the survivors a great deal of stress and aggravation to know that things are taken care of. We suggest you talk to your husband’s children about this and see whether they can get their father to help them out.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Only Child in Massachusetts,” the woman who loved being an only child, and I have to say it hasn’t been pleasant for me. There were some good things, like not having to share with anyone and having your parents to yourself. But when my parents passed away, I had to lean heavily on my husband, who was wonderful.

When I married, I told my husband I wanted to have more than one child. Now my husband is gone, and my children are busy with their own lives. They miss having cousins, aunts and uncles, and I would give anything to have a sibling to talk to.

— Thankful for My Family

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    What’s new at UCD? Construction projects abound

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    No-nonsense Musser voted Citizen of the Year

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Sharing a meal, and so much more

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Brinley Plaque honors environmental stalwart

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    North Korea proposes joint probe over Sony hacking

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    AP sources: Cops’ killer angry over Garner death

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Raul Castro: Don’t expect detente to change Cuban system

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Police seek help in finding runaway twin girls

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Downtown crash results in DUI arrest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    March trial date set in Davis molest case

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Enterprise plans Christmas, New Year’s holiday hours

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
     
    Luminaria display planned in West Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Soup’s On will benefit NAMI-Yolo

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Supplies collected for victims of abuse

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Donors, volunteers honored on Philanthropy Day

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Surprise honor is really nice, dude

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Konditorei presents free holiday concert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    .

    Forum

     
    E-cigs surpass regular cigarettes among teens

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

    It’s not a pretty picture

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B4

     
    Google me this: Should I hit that button?

    By Marion Franck | From Page: B4

    Too late to pick a fight

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    All police need to humanize

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Are we only a fair-weather bike city?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Join us in making our world more just

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    The electronic equivalent of war

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    The Green House effect: Homes where the elderly thrive

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A11

    .

    Sports

     
    Stenz shines as DHS girls take a tournament title

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Aggie Manzanares not quite finished carrying the rock

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD women look to improve, despite game at No. 7 Stanford

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Second-half run spurs Aggie men to 8-1

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    49ers fall to San Diego in overtime

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Marrone Bio expands its product reach in Latin America

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Sierra Northern Railway names CEO

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Sink your teeth into Vampire Penguin

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, December 21, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8