Thursday, April 17, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Off to a rocky start

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I have a wonderful husband and a problem that started when we married last year.

We had a destination wedding. My husband’s stepfather paid for the immediate family to stay at a beautiful rental house. My brother’s ex, “Martha,” surprised us by coming, and she brought her daughter, along with a friend and her 3-year-old. The next day, Martha and her friend had to check out of their hotel hours before the wedding and simply assumed they would hang around the rental house until then. This was not OK.

Martha never asks permission. She and her friend left the toddler at the house while they went to get food and then came back with nothing for the child, so she went into the kitchen and made him a sandwich from our supplies. I can understand my mother-in-law being upset, but she overreacted and blew up at Martha. They argued, and Martha left and didn’t attend the wedding.

Although my mom understands how Martha can annoy people, she shut herself off from then on. She didn’t help me into my dress, paid no attention during the wedding and spoke to no one. After the wedding, we had a small reception at the house, and she locked herself in our room. I was devastated.

My husband’s mother apologized profusely to my mother after the incident, but Mom refuses to get over it. She won’t come to family gatherings when my in-laws are present. She missed our son’s first birthday party.

I have tried to broker a truce, and I’ve told my mother I will no longer listen when she says negative things about my mother-in-law. The end result is that she avoids the subject and nothing is resolved. Please help.

— Stressed Newlywed

Dear Stressed: Your mother is being childish and purposely hanging onto this grudge. We think she is jealous of your in-laws and hopes her petulance will make you more attentive. It’s working. You are expending a great deal of energy on this situation. Stop. Tell Mom the subject is closed and if she chooses to lose out on family time, that is her decision, and you will no longer try to convince her otherwise.

————

Dear Annie: I need some advice on how to handle put-downs from my wife’s friends. It started when our nosy neighbor saw my wife beat me in a wrestling match. Now the neighbor makes remarks about my getting beat up by a woman.

My wife refuses to come to my defense and says I have to deal with this woman myself. How do I deal with these gossipy bullies?

— Vince

Dear Vince: It might help if you make yourself less of an easy target. You allow this neighbor to discombobulate you. Ignore her, or laugh it off. Her opinions are unimportant. But tell your wife that you expect her to stick up for you when her friends insult you, because she would certainly want you to do the same.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Questioning in California,” who is converting to Judaism and whose friends are not supportive of her new kosher eating habits.

I’m not Jewish, but my husband is. For the past seven years, we have kept a strictly kosher kitchen. I recommend she learn how to make some tasty, unconventional kosher dishes and invite her friends over. I make an amazing Southwestern quesadilla and Kung Pao chicken. My husband makes gourmet pizza. We host every Thanksgiving and serve a traditional (kosher) turkey with all the trimmings.

With all this good food around, our friends and family adjusted quickly, and some of them even use our recipes. The lactose intolerant are always glad to know that many dishes served in our house are completely dairy free. In fact, I recommend kosher cookbooks to anyone who is lactose intolerant.

— Kosher in California

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Benefit set for local bike legend

    By Adrian Glass-Moore | From Page: A1

     
    Downtown post office set to reopen

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B3

    Run or walk to prevent child abuse in Yolo County

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Nominations sought for charity paint giveaway

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

     
    Scholar will discuss human trafficking in Friday talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Get in the picture with school board candidate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Tickets on sale for Pence Garden Tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    KDVS hosts on-air fundraiser April 21-27

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Fundraiser planned for Allen’s campaign

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Food Co-op board plans open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Davis Downtown hosts candidate forum

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A4

    Learn more about Google Glass at talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Per Capita Davis: Now, for some good news

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A4

    Birch Lane hosts 50th anniversary party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Hannah Stein reads poetry at gallery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Davis Food Co-op to offer free bags on Earth Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Barbecue celebrates winter shelter program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Sign of things to come

    By Fred Gladdis | From Page: A8

     
    Davis Soroptimists celebrate 60 years

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    .

    Forum

    Frank Bruni: The oldest hatred, forever young

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A6

     
    Expert: Free parking is a myth

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Have they really learned?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    A great community effort

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Public Health Heroes honored

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Don’t miss a Trokanski dance

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Giants edge Dodgers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Foster steps down as Lady Blue Devil basketball coach

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    River Cats’ streak reaches six wins

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Landry evolves into UCD women’s lacrosse leader

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Huge inning propels Pleasant Grove past DHS

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Kings drop season finale to Suns

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Youth roundup: Martinez, Chan come up big at gymnastics regional

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Angels get past A’s in extras

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Wineaux: Good deals off the beaten path

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A7

     
    Rockabilly phenom to play at The Palms

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    ‘One’ singular sensation to open at DMTC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    HellaCappella showcases a cappella singing

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    25th annual state clay competition exhibit at The Artery

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Tapan Munroe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, April 17, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6