Thursday, September 18, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Paranoia leaves no room to argue

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | April 30, 2013 |

Dear Annie: What should I say to my sister when she makes outrageous claims? For example, she believes the government is spraying poison into the skies and dropping ticks to kill us. She has a huge supply of plastic coffins ready to put our corpses into. She thinks crackpots rapping on YouTube are reliable sources of information.

Sometimes I get through to her with reason and facts, but soon after, she corroborates her misconceptions via other web “sources.” I have too much real life to live to spend time debunking all the links she sends to “prove” her beliefs, but I worry that her paranoia might not be safe if it goes unchecked.

We are both retired, and she spends most of her time on her couch surfing the web on her smart phone and watching movies. She hardly engages in any physical activity, and her health is suffering. She believes every conspiracy theory out there, and when I don’t concur, she thinks I don’t respect her intelligence.

Should I just agree with her? Empathize with her feelings of doom? Laugh off the wacky stuff? Change the subject to real-life issues? Please help.

— Older Sister

Dear Older Sister: It is pointless to argue with your sister. Instead, please suggest she get a complete checkup. She may be suffering from something as simple as a urinary tract infection, as serious as dementia or as complicated as mental illness. You also can try your local Department on Aging to see whether someone could visit your sister in person and do an evaluation.

————

Dear Annie: I need advice on how to tactfully uninvite relatives to a gathering. A few weeks ago, I casually mentioned to my husband that I’d like to have a special outing with our sons. It’s my youngest boy’s birthday, and I suggested an overnight stay at a resort. Along the way, we could stop at my husband’s brother’s house and have a small cake-and-ice-cream celebration with his brother, sister-in-law and young nephew. The next thing I know, he has invited his brother’s family to join us at the resort.

Aside from the fact that I wanted this outing to be just the four of us, there is an additional problem. My older son is autistic. My husband and I will have a hard enough time accommodating his needs while trying to have a good time. And my sister-in-law can be rude. She makes nasty remarks when you disagree with her.

I want this to be our family time. We can invite the others for a different gathering. How should I tell them it will not work out?

— Don’t Want To Be Stuck With Them

Dear Don’t: Your husband should handle this. After all, it’s his brother — not to mention, Hubby was the one who invited them without checking with you. He can say he thinks the overnight stay would be best with just the four of you, and he hopes they will understand the need for family time. But he should add that you are all looking forward to seeing them to celebrate your son’s birthday.

————

Dear Annie: This is for “Concerned,” who questioned the appropriateness of displaying his late wife’s picture at his granddaughter’s wedding.

Not long after we lost our beloved 26-year-old son, two of his good friends were married. Not only did they invite us to the wedding, but by mentioning our son in their wedding program, this wonderful couple made it possible for our son to be part of their special day. There are no words to express how much this meant to us.

We also know a young woman who included her late brother in her wedding by holding his picture in her hands when the wedding photographer photographed the wedding party. How blessed “Concerned” is to have such a sensitive and loving granddaughter.

— Always Remembering

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Jurors see Marsh questioned by police

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

     
    Grace Garden: Five years of feeding the needy

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

     
    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Bike sale on Friday will benefit King High

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A2

     
    Wildfire shows explosive growth

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Per Capita Davis: What to think

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A3

    International Festival moves to park for fourth year

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Essay contest underway

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Sudwerk Wet Hop Lager plants seeds for area hops rebirth

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Speakers plumb issues around the Constitution

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Governor signs bill to support state’s ailing bee population

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Backyard poultry symposium Sunday at UCD

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A5

    Forum will answer questions about new license law

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Australian pop band Dick Diver plays Third Space

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    RepowerYolo hosts solar seminar

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Local Girl Scouts are looking for a few good leaders

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A5

    Reneau, Silberstein will read their poetry Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Parents host campaign coffees for Archer

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Nominate deserving volunteers for top citizen honors

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    PG&E, Dixon company unveil truck that can restore power

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    $12M earmarked for UCD life sciences center in Chile

    By Karen Nikos-Rose | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Forum

    She’s had it with his neglect

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Off-leash dogs are a danger

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Davis makes the NY Times

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Affordable housing affects health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Choose to wipe out hunger

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    DHS girls pound Mustangs in the pool

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Davis captures final nonleague volleyball outing

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    DHS golfers blow past St. Francis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils blow out Marauders at Brown Stadium

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Youth softball: Hurricanes win one of two slugfests with Woodland

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Youth roundup: These Diamonds are forever in the record books

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Baseball roundup: Duffy comes up big for Giants in Arizona

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Young Devil harriers carry the day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

    Davis falls to Vintage in a JV shootout

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B3

     
    DHS girls tennis team stunned at Franklin

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    What’s happening, Sept. 18

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

     
    Students get into the act with Shakespeare

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8 | Gallery

    Street-smart tips for safe cycling

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

     
    Eagle Scout project makes life easier for Yolo Basin volunteers

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    .

    Arts

     
    Wineaux: Back and forth in the high and low debate

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A9

    Catie Curtis brings folk-rock ‘Flying Dream’ to The Palms on Friday Sept. 19

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Jean Botelli

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, September 18, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6