Friday, September 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Parents let kids run wild

AnniesMailbox

By
May 13, 2011 |

Dear Annie: My daughter has five beautiful children whom we love very much. My husband and I often take the kids overnight and on weekends to give some quiet time to their parents.

When the children are with us, they behave beautifully. But when their parents walk back in the door, it is a total disaster. This past weekend was the worst. As soon as their parents came over, the kids began jumping, running around, screaming and teasing the dog. I lost it and really yelled. I know my son-in-law was upset, but he will sit there and do nothing when things like this are going on.

I feel terrible and am depressed about losing control. My daughter and her husband never correct the children, and it is upsetting when my husband and I go out of our way to make a wonderful weekend for the kids and have it end on a sour note.

I want to say something to my daughter and son-in-law, but don’t want to damage our relationship. I have thought of alternatives, such as not taking the children at all, taking only one at a time or only watching the kids at our house. We have a country home, a large yard, a couple of dogs and plenty of space, so it is more enjoyable for us to have the children here anyway.

I am so disappointed, angry and hurt with the children’s behavior, I just want to cry. My husband does not want me to say anything. What do you think?

— Frustrated and Sad

Dear Sad: As tempting as it is to criticize your daughter’s parenting skills, we urge you not to. She will resent it enormously. The most helpful thing you can do is teach those children proper behavior when they are with you. Whenever possible, baby-sit at your country home. If they turn into wild animals when their parents pick them up, so be it.

————

Dear Annie: Counseling is frequently mentioned in your column, sometimes as your recommendation, sometimes by readers whose partners won’t accompany them and occasionally by someone disappointed or happy with the results.

This makes me wonder how successful counseling is. Perhaps your readers would share their experiences and tell us how to find a good counselor.

— Problem Still Here

Dear Problem: You’ve raised some valid issues. So, readers, how about it? Let us know if you’ve tried counseling, how you found your counselor and what your experience was like. We’ll print the most interesting and helpful responses.

————

Dear Annie: My boyfriend, “Dan,” recently died after a sudden heart attack. He was only 39 and in seemingly good health.

Dan was completely estranged from his family, so when he had his heart attack, I was the person the hospital contacted, and I was the only one by his bedside. I notified his family, but they didn’t bother to show up until after he died.

At that point, they all swooped down and made funeral arrangements that Dan would not have wanted. Instead of the military funeral and religious service he once told me he preferred, the family had him cremated with no service at all. I was told there was nothing I could do because Dan didn’t leave a will, nor had he named me as the person to handle arrangements. In most states, the immediate family, no matter how distant, has the right to make those decisions.

Annie, please let your readers know how important it is for people to make a will and give specific instructions. It could save a lot of grief and misunderstanding.

— Sadder but Wiser

Dear Sadder: People don’t like to think about their funerals, especially if they are relatively young. But anyone who has specific wishes should put them in writing and see that everyone has a copy. Our condolences.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    UC to create $250 million venture capital fund

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A1

     
    Telling tales, on ‘Davisville’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Volunteers sought to make veggie bags

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Storyteller will draw on music, dance

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Woodland Healthcare offering flu shots

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Putah Creek Bike Path to close temporarily

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Little Free Libraries open at Montgomery

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

    Project Linus seeks donations

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Rabid bat found at Holmes Junior High

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Students invited to apply for Blue & White grants

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Halloween costume sale benefits preschool

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Register to vote by Oct. 20

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Free workout class set at library

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Explorit: Lots of ways to be a volunteer

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Sierra Club remembers longtime walker

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    DHS Classes of 1954 and 1955 will hold 60th reunion

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Nonprofits can get DCN’s help

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Need a new best friend?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Davis maps available at Chamber office

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Reception benefits endangered gorillas

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Sutter Farmers Market offers local goods

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    Wolk applauds approval of stronger rules for olive oil

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    Davis hosts its own climate change rally

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Qigong classes available for heart health

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    Educate homeless with dogs

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

     
    Cheers and Jeers: Not the end of the rainbow

    By Our View | From Page: A6

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    Return to previous plan

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Save the ‘pine cone place’

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Affirm our community values

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Project has safety risks

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Learn more about Paso Fino

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Aggies’ new energy could be scary for Big West

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    No rest for the weary: Aggie TE Martindale busy on and off the field

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Devils hope the light bulb goes off at Edison

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    River Cats and Giants sign two-year deal

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Take Zona and Bama this week

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: B2

     
    Mustangs are no match for DHS boys in water polo

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    A’s slide continues as Rangers sweep

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Business

    Redesigned 2015 Escalade remains breed all its own

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Carol L. Walsh

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, September 19, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A10