Sunday, April 26, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Putting them in the middle

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 04, 2012 |

Dear Annie: Two years ago, I walked away from a 28-year marriage. A year after my divorce was final, I began seeing an old family friend. My ex-husband has decided that the only possible reason for why I left him is another man, because in his humble opinion, he was perfect during our marriage. I have told him over and over the reasons why I left, but he doesn’t hear a word I say.

The problem is, we share grandchildren. My grandson is having a birthday soon, and my ex has given our daughter explicit orders that I am not to bring my new boyfriend. The birthday party is being held at my daughter’s house, and she called and asked me to come alone so as not to cause any problems.

My daughter understands that her father is being unreasonable, but he is their father, and they love him. One of my sons actually confronted my ex about this before, and my ex didn’t speak to him for months. He told our son that he was taking my side by accepting my boyfriend.

I live with my boyfriend, and my ex has a live-in girlfriend whom he plans to bring to the birthday party. I am heartbroken that my ex is treating his children this way and even more upset that my kids won’t stand up for themselves or for me. I fear this will never end. What happens when our still-single son gets married?

My boyfriend has no problem stepping aside, but I know his feelings are hurt. I don’t want this type of behavior to cause a rift with my kids. This is making me physically ill. Should I not go to the party? I don’t want to play into my ex’s control issues.

— Heartbroken Mom in Connecticut

Dear Connecticut: Your children must call Dad’s bluff, or he will continue to marginalize you and any partner you have. This is a power play to control all of you. Unfortunately, you cannot force your children to risk the relationship by showing backbone. Whether or not to attend these functions is up to you. A child’s birthday party is not as big of a deal as a son’s wedding. Pick your battles.

————

Dear Annie: I am 18 and a senior in high school. My ex-boyfriend and I dated on and off for about two years before we broke up 10 months ago. We are still close friends and have some feelings for each other, but there are reasons why we can’t currently be together.

I am starting to like a guy who is three years younger and two grades below me. But I don’t know if he likes me. Should I pursue him? What about my ex-boyfriend who is still my best friend?

— Conflicted and Confused in the Northwest

Dear Conflicted: Are you planning to get back together with your ex at some point in the near future? If so, pursuing another guy may make that more difficult. But if the relationship with the ex is over, you are free to pursue anyone. However, the new guy is 15. While he may be flattered by your interest, he’s too young to become involved with a senior. And if there is sex, you could be in legal trouble. Please set your sights elsewhere.

————

Dear Annie: I think you missed an important possibility when answering “Frustrated Dad,” whose college-graduate son plays video games all day.

If his son plays games the vast majority of the day, he could well be addicted. When addictions take over, work and relationships are all tossed by the wayside. He retreats from the real world because his reality is in his computer.

Dad should absolutely insist that he go to a therapist trained in addictions. Drive him there, or pay for his gas — whatever it takes. It is a long, hard road back, but it can be done.

— Happier Mom

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
 
Davis team wins world robotics championship

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Nepal quake death toll exceeds 1,800

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

Spring storm delivers late rain, snow to Northern California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
At the Pond: Plenty of pleasures in our bioregion

By Jean Jackman | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Rail-safety bill passes Senate committee

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Free Family Bike Clinic set Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Pioneering organic chef presents her memoir Monday

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Suspect in UCD assault arrested

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4

Dog park marks anniversary with cleanup

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Watch them in action

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A5

Stocks rise on tech earnings; Nasdaq adds to record

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

 
Dodd speaks as part of public policy series

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

We did it (together)!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

 
$2.72 million judgment ordered against Dollar Tree Stores

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

UCD hosts bike auction Saturday, May 2

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Fly Fishers to hear about advanced streamer tactics on Tuesday

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

Bicycle activist will speak Monday at Hall of Fame

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
.

Forum

Those texts still linger

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B6

 
New ways of giving locally and beyond

By Marion Franck | From Page: B6

 
Study questions accuracy of tumor gene mapping

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

 
Poker proceeds help youths

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

Invest in water of the future

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

 
Water, water everywhere?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

Mayor’s Corner: A spirit of renewal permeates Davis

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

 
More work to do for a safe Picnic Day

By Our View | From Page: A12

Anaheim, where The Force is with you

By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A13 | Gallery

 
.

Sports

Davis gets two baseball wins in two days

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1

 
Grizzlies dominate young Blue Devils on Senior Night

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Energy, fan-friendly happenings highlight UCD spring football game

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Blue Devil golfers capture CAL Invitational title

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

UCD roundup: Aggies reach water polo semifinals

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

 
Blue Devil swimmers are up to the challenge

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Babich brings the heat as DHS girls stick it to Oak Ridge

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12 | Gallery

 
DHS softball struggles continue against Sheldon

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12 | Gallery

.

Features

.

Arts

History comes alive in ‘The Sacramento Picture’

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
.

Business

Yolo County real estate sales

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A7

 
Big Italian food, sports bar to fill Little Prague

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A7 | Gallery

Davis Roots hires new general manager

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Comcast announces speed upgrade

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
.

Obituaries

 
Whitney Joy Engler

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Valente Forrest Dolcini

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, April 26, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8