Sunday, December 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Really worried about husband’s behavior

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | July 01, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I am 40 years old and have been married to “Rick” for 19 years. We have four beautiful daughters.

For years, Rick wanted a son. I thought he had accepted that it wasn’t going to happen, so I didn’t protest when he formed a friendship with a 10-year-old fatherless neighbor boy. “Drew” is now 13, and he’s a great kid  kind, respectful and helpful.

Rick and Drew are always doing things together  going to ballgames, riding bikes, playing basketball. At first, I thought it was great, but now I have some major concerns. About a year ago, Drew started stopping by on his way to school to get his “morning hug” from Rick. I used to think it was cute, but now it’s just annoying. Then Rick insisted on including Drew in every family outing. When he wanted to invite him along on our vacation this summer, I put my foot down. Rick sulked for a week.

But here is the real problem: Two weeks ago, our oldest daughter said that she and her sisters believe Dad loves Drew more than he loves them. She said she’s been spying on her father, and he is always hugging Drew and kissing him on the mouth, and that sometimes when I’m not home, they go into our bedroom and lock the door.

I confronted Rick, and he admitted to the hugging and kissing, but said Drew is just very affectionate. He even confessed to taking Drew into the bedroom and locking the door, but insists they were only talking.

Frankly, I don’t know what to think. Something is not right. Is it possible that my husband and this boy are having sex?

 Worried Wife

Dear Worried: It is more than possible. It is likely. Even if they aren’t sexually involved, this is a worrisome situation and not healthy for anyone. You must insist that Rick and Drew separate physically, as well as emotionally. No more morning kisses, no more outings alone, no more trips to the bedroom. The two of them cannot be left alone, even for one second. This may be traumatizing for Drew, so Rick can explain, in your presence, that he needs to spend more time with his daughters. You also could contact Big Brothers Big Sisters of America (bbbs.org) so Drew can find a more appropriate father figure to fill the gap.

If Rick refuses to cooperate, are you willing to turn him in to the authorities as a suspected pedophile and let them investigate? (You can do this anonymously.) Would Rick be willing to get counseling as a condition of remaining in the marriage? (We’d insist on that.) We know such a reality is hard to face, but please act on this immediately. You may be the only person who can protect that boy.

Dear Annie: When I go out to eat for breakfast, the restaurants always have artificial sweetener for your coffee and often nondairy creamer. What I do not find is a nondairy substitute for butter. Many of us would rather not eat butter. Please spread this message so stores and restaurants will see it and offer this item.

 Nondairy in Wisconsin

Dear Nondairy: Most places will provide margarine if you request it. If you want something else (soy butter, et al), you will have a harder time. If you patronize the same places often and ask each time, they may begin to offer these items. Try it.

Dear Annie: When I was growing up, good table manners were a necessity. As my children became older, sometimes they would regress, and I found a foolproof method that worked for us. I bought a small standup mirror and put it in front of them at the table. One day my daughter came home from school and commented on a girl at her lunch table who ate with her mouth open. They still have beautiful manners.

 Kentucky Great-Grandmother

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    What’s new at UCD? Construction projects abound

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    No-nonsense Musser voted Citizen of the Year

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Sharing a meal, and so much more

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Brinley Plaque honors environmental stalwart

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    North Korea proposes joint probe over Sony hacking

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    AP sources: Cops’ killer angry over Garner death

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Raul Castro: Don’t expect detente to change Cuban system

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Police seek help in finding runaway twin girls

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Downtown crash results in DUI arrest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    March trial date set in Davis molest case

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    Donors, volunteers honored on Philanthropy Day

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Enterprise plans Christmas, New Year’s holiday hours

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Luminaria display planned in West Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Soup’s On will benefit NAMI-Yolo

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Supplies collected for victims of abuse

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Surprise honor is really nice, dude

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Konditorei presents free holiday concert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    .

    Forum

    Google me this: Should I hit that button?

    By Marion Franck | From Page: B4

     
    E-cigs surpass regular cigarettes among teens

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

     
    It’s not a pretty picture

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B4

    Too late to pick a fight

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    All police need to humanize

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Are we only a fair-weather bike city?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Join us in making our world more just

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    The electronic equivalent of war

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    The Green House effect: Homes where the elderly thrive

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A11

    .

    Sports

     
    Stenz shines as DHS girls take a tournament title

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Aggie Manzanares not quite finished carrying the rock

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD women look to improve, despite game at No. 7 Stanford

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Second-half run spurs Aggie men to 8-1

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    49ers fall to San Diego in overtime

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Marrone Bio expands its product reach in Latin America

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Sierra Northern Railway names CEO

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Sink your teeth into Vampire Penguin

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, December 21, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8