Friday, December 26, 2014

Safe at home

By Richard Fleming, MD

Although we are in the middle of baseball season, this article is not about scoring runs at the ballpark. No, today I want to talk about how everyone has the right to live in a safe, secure environment. Unfortunately, some homes are not safe because of turmoil and violence.

Domestic violence is very common in the U.S. It especially affects women, who make up 85 percent of domestic violence victims. One in four women will experience violence at the hand of a loved one or partner sometime during her life. One-third of all female homicide victims are killed by someone with whom they are emotionally involved. In almost every case, there was a pattern of domestic violence before the murder itself finally happened.

In addition to the physical injuries inflicted, the emotional injuries are often severe and long-lasting. Stress, depression, anxiety and other mental-health problems occur commonly in the aftermath of domestic violence. When someone you love hurts you, those wounds can cut far deeper than those at the hands of a random stranger.

Children are also affected by this problem. Children who witness violence at home are more likely to experience health problems as they grow older. Young boys who grow up in households with violence are twice as likely to commit violence themselves, when they become adults.

It is not unusual for a domestic violence victim to blame herself for causing the violence. Women often wonder why a loved one would do something like that, and may feel that they brought it on themselves. If only I had not argued with him. If only I had let him have what he wanted. If only I had been more understanding. Such “if only” thinking may be an understandable reaction to a very painful situation. But it is important to remember that violence is never an acceptable response to the disagreements or misunderstandings that inevitably come up in the course of all relationships. The victim of violence is not responsible for the violence.

Violence at home is, simply stated, unacceptable. It is not good for the victim. It is not good for the children who watch it happen. And, honestly, it does not solve the aggressor’s problems.

When there is violence in the home, it usually tends to progress and worsen over time, not get better. It may start as verbal assaults, or pushing and shoving, or throwing things. Most of the time, behavior like this tends to get worse.

So what is a person to do, man or woman, when faced with escalating threats and violence at home? First, make it clear to your partner that such violence is unacceptable, inexcusable, and
cannot continue. The person committing the violence needs to get professional help with anger management. Second, if violence continues, the person being threatened needs to prepare to leave.

Make specific plans for where to go, how to leave, and how to cover your tracks. Have a bag ready which includes things you may need, including toiletries, financial documents, phone numbers, medications, and a change of clothing for yourself and your children.

While taking these steps may sound extreme, keep in mind that every day three women are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands in the U.S., and most of the time there were warning signs ahead of time.

More information can be found at or by calling 1-800-799-7233. Remember, home should be a safe haven. Everyone has the right to expect a comforting environment when they walk through their own front door.

— Dr. Fleming is the regional medical director of Partnership HealthPlan of California



Special to The Enterprise



Pastor has many plans for CA House

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Exchange students bring the world to Davis

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Transit survey: 47 percent ride bikes to campus

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Special holiday gifts

By Sue Cockrell | From Page: A3

Woodland-Davis commute bus service expands

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Learn fruit tree tips at free class

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Davis Bike Club hears about British cycling tour

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Pick up a Davis map at Chamber office

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Explorit: Get a rise out of science

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A4

NAMI meeting offers family support

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Yoga, chanting intro offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8



How much for the calling birds?

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

Steve Sack cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

Many ensured a successful parade

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Thanks for putting food on the table

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10



Two more for the road for 9-1 Aggie men

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Patterson is college football’s top coach

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Clippers get a win over Golden State

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

NBA roundup: Heat beat Cavs in LeBron’s return to Miami

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10 | Gallery





‘Unbroken': A bit underwhelming

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

Folk musicians will jam on Jan. 2

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11



Passat: Roomy, affordable sedan with German engineering

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3 | Gallery



James J. Dunning Jr.

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Floyd W. Fenocchio

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4



Comics: Friday, December 26, 2014 (set 2)

By Creator | From Page: B7

Comics: Thursday, December 26, 2014 (set 1)

By Creator | From Page: A9