Sunday, July 27, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

She already has a mother

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | September 03, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My husband has a wonderful mother, and I am happy that such a terrific woman raised him. The problem is, she wants me to call her “Mom.” I love her dearly, but I am not comfortable with this. She introduces me as her daughter and signs all of her emails and texts, “Love, Mom.” Any advice on how to handle this situation?

— Uncomfortable Daughter-in-Law

Dear Uncomfortable: It is never easy to start calling someone by a more familiar name. Mom obviously wants to be closer to you. You have three choices: You force yourself to call her “Mom,” knowing that eventually it will become easier and natural; you simply tell her that you think she is terrific, but you would prefer to call her by her first name because you consider her a good friend; you wait until you have children and then call her “Grandma.”

————

Dear Annie: I found your response to “Nebraska” surprising. She said her friends are not attracted to African-Americans, and you agreed that this is bigoted.

I remember being with friends and checking out members of the opposite sex when I was much younger. My friend might say she thought the blue-eyed blond was a real cutie, and I might say I preferred men with brown hair and brown eyes.

Did that make us bigoted? Did that mean one of us had a prejudice against Swedes and the other against Italians? Attraction is one thing. Willingness to get to know someone based on race or other physical appearance is something else altogether, and there I might agree with your response. All these years later, I’m still married to the brown-eyed man.

— Hat Creek

Dear Hat Creek: Many readers compared this to not being attracted to redheads. But it’s not the same. Selecting an entire group of human beings based on their ancestral heritage is like saying you aren’t attracted to anyone whose great-grandmother was a redhead. You actually provided an excellent example of our point: You didn’t say Swedes or Italians as a group. You said blue-eyed blondes and brown-eyed brunettes. Those preferences occur within many groups, including dark-eyed, brunette Swedes and blonde, blue-eyed Italians, which are plentiful.

It’s not always easy to recognize bigotry in ourselves, and in most cases, it is not intentional. But aside from the obvious fact that people should be judged on an individual basis, “Nebraska’s” friends didn’t say they have a problem with a specific feature — and African-Americans have a range of features. They also did not say they aren’t attracted to a specific skin tone. They said “African-Americans,” making them all the same in looks and personality. You don’t have to be attracted to everybody. But when one pronounces an entire group of people to be unappealing based solely on their racial heritage, what, exactly, would you call that?

————

Dear Annie: You recommended NAMI’s Family-to-Family program to “Parents at Wits’ End.” I’d like to weigh in on that.

I recently took one of their classes and can honestly say I have a better understanding of what my family member is going through. Before, I was totally clueless as to how to deal with the psychotic episodes and made a lot of mistakes. Thanks to NAMI, I am more informed, feel better prepared in dealing with difficult situations and, with my new perspective, am encouraged that it can and will get better.

— Supporter of NAMI of Kansas

Dear Kansas: Thank you for adding your words of support for this wonderful program.

————

Annie’s Snippet for Labor Day: Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having, except as a result of hard work.

— Booker T. Washington

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Zombies by rail: It’s not just a show, it’s a trip

    By Evan Arnold-Gordon | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Community gardens stretch food dollars, study finds

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Humphrey Fellows will host Global Forum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Fatal Covell Boulevard crash recalled in court

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

    Wildfire spurs evacuation of 700 homes

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Israel extends Gaza truce through Sunday

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Ukraine launches offensive to retake Donetsk

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Rairdan joins race for Davis school board

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    State can’t say if it’s meeting drought goal

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Luna family matriarch turns 100

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    New ordinance aims to prevent nut thefts from orchards

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

    Biggest book sale to date opens Friday at Davis library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Mace Innovation Center is focus of meeting

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Affordable housing forum planned in Davis

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
     
    Discussion of oil by rail EIR planned Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Freeway crash injures two drivers

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

     
    Museum wants your old Davis High School yearbooks

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    State awards $40,000 for historic property survey

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A8

     
    Protesters gather at Primate Center

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A8

    Get a sneak peek at documentary trailer

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Free blood pressure screenings offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Davis Chamber Choir sings short summer program

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9

     
    Tasting event benefits Yolo Land Trust

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A9

    Vanguard hosts economic development director

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    At the Pond: From Davis, it’s easy to get back to nature

    By Jean Jackman | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    Tickets on sale now for DHS Hall of Fame dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Forum

     
    Feels like a million miles away

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A7

    Check doctors’ vitals before they check yours

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    Here’s what you need for a perfect wedding

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

    Husband’s let himself go

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A14

     
    So, what’s in a week’s worth of waste?

    By Michelle Millet | From Page: A16

    Questions on water rights

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16, 1 Comment

     
    Golf tourney was a big success

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16

    Campus turns on the tap

    By Our View | From Page: A16

     
    Pat Oliphant cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A16

    New playground is wonderful

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A17

     
    Just Us in Davis: Little Rock Nine hero to celebrate with Davis youths

    By Jann L. Murray-Garcia | From Page: A17 | Gallery

    We can do more to help

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A17

     
    .

    Sports

    Gray wins 6th straight, A’s 4 HRs beat Texas 5-1

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Kershaw throws 2-hitter as Dodgers beat Giants 5-0

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

    Furyk opens 3-shot lead in Canadian Open

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    New Korematsu teacher is an American Ninja Warrior

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Sutherland presents 1st clinic; golf column on its way

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Nibali set to cruise to Tour victory

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Area sports briefs: River Cats take Game 1 of doubleheader

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Companies will collaborate on crop insect control

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A13

     
    Developer’s commitments: affordable and green

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13 | Gallery

    UC Davis Health System earns ‘Most Wired’ award

    By Charles Casey | From Page: A15

     
    Bartholomew hires new associate

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

    Yolo County real estate sales

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A15

     
    Go back to school with Great Clips

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

    Lagerstrom represents Davis at Mary Kay seminar

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Jonathan Eric Hollander

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Carlton Hope Meister

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, July 27, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A6