Sunday, February 1, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

She can’t even watch the TV

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | October 30, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 47 years to a man who is 13 years older than I am. He reminds me often that he is 86 and set in his ways.

For much of our marriage, I have carried the load around the house, but now it is worse. My husband barely does anything. At least he has a hobby that keeps him busy. Otherwise, he would sit in our den recliner watching TV all day.

I mostly confine myself to our bedroom because if I set foot in the den, it becomes a shouting match since he cannot hear me because the TV is so loud. And he gets angry if I ask him to turn it down. He got a new TV for Father’s Day, and I am barely allowed to watch it. He doesn’t even have the courtesy to listen or speak to me if he is reading the newspaper.

I know where I am on the totem pole. I get no respect from him. I guess things are not going to get better. I went as far as packing my bags and renting a car. You would think that would have made a difference, but no such luck.

I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems, especially my children. I have cried many nights. It helps simply to unburden myself to you, but I know it won’t last. What do I do?

— An Unhappy Prisoner

Dear Unhappy: Your husband has decided to settle into a sedentary old age, and you aren’t ready for that. But marriage vows include “in sickness and in health,” and this is part of the deal. Unless you are looking to divorce him, we recommend you immerse yourself in your own hobbies and interests. If the TV is too loud, see whether you can find amplifying headphones that he is willing to use. Don’t try to converse with him when he’s watching. Get out of the house instead. You’re not a “prisoner.”

Meet friends for dinner. Work out at the health club. Ask a girlfriend to go to the movies. Take the grandchildren on a field trip. Join a choir or community theater. Find ways to keep yourself occupied so you are fulfilled and content, and so that your problems with Hubby recede into the background of your life.

————

Dear Annie: I am having a party for my child’s first birthday. We are already overrun with toys in our home. Right now, he prefers to play with mixing bowls and boxes rather than store-bought toys.

Is it proper to indicate on the invitation “no toys, please”? We’d much rather get clothing or money to put into a college fund.

— Grateful Mama of Little One

Dear Mama: It is never appropriate to tell your guests what they should get you. Unless you want to ask people to bring a toy to donate to charity (a lovely idea), you should not specify anything on the invitations. If people should ask, it is OK to tell them your preferences, and you also can make suggestions to one or two people and ask them to spread the word. Otherwise, return the gifts or give them to a charity so underprivileged children can get something for the holidays.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Enough Is Enough,” whose boyfriend’s family can’t forgive her for an indiscretion with her ex-boyfriend.

Some people are unable to place their spouses first when they marry. I never cheated on my husband, but anytime it came to my needs, e.g., “I don’t want your mother smoking in our house,” he’d ignore me and hand his mom an ashtray. Even though his sister was stealing my jewelry, he gave her a set of keys to our house because “they’re family.” He never quite understood that his primary allegiance should have been to his wife.

I divorced him, and he’s now back living with the woman he really loves: Mommy.

— Sacramento

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Jewish fraternity vandalism classified a hate crime

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

     
    Well-loved library has services for all ages

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    The end of an era for The Enterprise, as pressroom closes

    By Kimberly Yarris | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Man arrested after body parts found in suitcase

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Islamists post beheading video

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    More than a foot of snow possible for Midwest, Northeast

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    UCD Med Center patient tested negative for Ebola

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Kudos to the Thomsons

    By Sue Cockrell | From Page: A3

     
    Arboretum ‘I do’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    The story of Mark and Maria

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Summer lovin’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Stories come alive at the library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

    Training starts Tuesday for Jepson Prairie Preserve tour guides

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Lecture looks at women in Egypt

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    Stepping Stones supports grieving youths

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9Comments are off for this post

     
    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Japanese students seek Davis host families

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    And bingo was the game-o

    By Tate Perez | From Page: A9

    Lee will speak Wednesday about city issues

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Tuleyome Tales: Searching for the elusive McNab cypress

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

    Questions and answers about breast cancer set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Davis Arts Center welcomes students’ work

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    .

    Forum

    Help a veteran feel loved

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A10

     
    Three old ideas going, going, gone

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A10

     
    How much drinking is too much?

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    They’re experienced and honest

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

    Toy drive was a big success

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

     
    One-way street solves dilemma

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

    Council, follow your own policies

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12

     
    Ensure that you’re protected against measles

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

    Act would let patients control their own fates

    By Our View | From Page: A12

     
    Wi-Fi in our schools could result in health impacts

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13

    Life goes on in Rutilio Grande, despite country’s gang violence

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13 | Gallery

     
    .

    Sports

     
    Depth charge: DHS girls defeat Elk Grove

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Blue Devil boys lose on Herd’s buzzer-beating trey

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD women survive against winless UCSB

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Foursome will represent Davis at national soccer tournament

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Kings get past Pacers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Sharks blank Blackhawks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    UCD roundup: Aggies make a racket but fall to Sac State, Pacific

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    And the survey says: Success for Davis Chamber

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    Putah Creek Winery launches ‘Give Back Tuesday’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

    Doby Fleeman: Toward a more perfect Davis

    By Doby Fleeman | From Page: A12

     
    Ullrich Delevati, CPAs, adds senior accountant

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

    Seminar will cover business challenges

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A13

     
    Japanese fondue dips into Davis scene

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A13 | Gallery

    Novozymes, Cargill continue bio-acrylic acid partnership as BASF exits

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, February 1, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B8