Tuesday, October 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

She can’t even watch the TV

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | October 30, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 47 years to a man who is 13 years older than I am. He reminds me often that he is 86 and set in his ways.

For much of our marriage, I have carried the load around the house, but now it is worse. My husband barely does anything. At least he has a hobby that keeps him busy. Otherwise, he would sit in our den recliner watching TV all day.

I mostly confine myself to our bedroom because if I set foot in the den, it becomes a shouting match since he cannot hear me because the TV is so loud. And he gets angry if I ask him to turn it down. He got a new TV for Father’s Day, and I am barely allowed to watch it. He doesn’t even have the courtesy to listen or speak to me if he is reading the newspaper.

I know where I am on the totem pole. I get no respect from him. I guess things are not going to get better. I went as far as packing my bags and renting a car. You would think that would have made a difference, but no such luck.

I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems, especially my children. I have cried many nights. It helps simply to unburden myself to you, but I know it won’t last. What do I do?

— An Unhappy Prisoner

Dear Unhappy: Your husband has decided to settle into a sedentary old age, and you aren’t ready for that. But marriage vows include “in sickness and in health,” and this is part of the deal. Unless you are looking to divorce him, we recommend you immerse yourself in your own hobbies and interests. If the TV is too loud, see whether you can find amplifying headphones that he is willing to use. Don’t try to converse with him when he’s watching. Get out of the house instead. You’re not a “prisoner.”

Meet friends for dinner. Work out at the health club. Ask a girlfriend to go to the movies. Take the grandchildren on a field trip. Join a choir or community theater. Find ways to keep yourself occupied so you are fulfilled and content, and so that your problems with Hubby recede into the background of your life.

————

Dear Annie: I am having a party for my child’s first birthday. We are already overrun with toys in our home. Right now, he prefers to play with mixing bowls and boxes rather than store-bought toys.

Is it proper to indicate on the invitation “no toys, please”? We’d much rather get clothing or money to put into a college fund.

— Grateful Mama of Little One

Dear Mama: It is never appropriate to tell your guests what they should get you. Unless you want to ask people to bring a toy to donate to charity (a lovely idea), you should not specify anything on the invitations. If people should ask, it is OK to tell them your preferences, and you also can make suggestions to one or two people and ask them to spread the word. Otherwise, return the gifts or give them to a charity so underprivileged children can get something for the holidays.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Enough Is Enough,” whose boyfriend’s family can’t forgive her for an indiscretion with her ex-boyfriend.

Some people are unable to place their spouses first when they marry. I never cheated on my husband, but anytime it came to my needs, e.g., “I don’t want your mother smoking in our house,” he’d ignore me and hand his mom an ashtray. Even though his sister was stealing my jewelry, he gave her a set of keys to our house because “they’re family.” He never quite understood that his primary allegiance should have been to his wife.

I divorced him, and he’s now back living with the woman he really loves: Mommy.

— Sacramento

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Suspected arson fires worry neighbors, firefighters

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Winters homicide case enters jury-selection phase

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

     
    So much more than a cute baby store

    By Bob Schultz | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Fill the Boot for the hungry

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Existing home sales rise in September

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Democrats love seeing minimum wage on the ballot

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Tax tips offered for sole proprietors

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Apply now for community mediation training

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Paws for Thought: Pets for Vets: matches made in heaven

    By Evelyn Dale | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    ‘Tokyo Kill’ author will visit bookstore

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Sierra Club gathers for morning walks

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    DPNS has play group, preschool openings

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Yolo Knitters Guild plans fall meetings

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Local farm products found at hospital market

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    First-time home buyers get free advice

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Psychiatric clinic hosts open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Beer dinner set on Co-op patio

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Walkin’ the Dawg through the park

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
     
    Essay contest winners will be honored Tuesday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Volunteers sought to make veggie bags

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Library hosts after-hours teen movie nights

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Forum eyes impacts of raising the local minimum wage

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    NAMI-Yolo family support group meets Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    To save the birds, look to the fish

    By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Birding field trip planned Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12 | Gallery

    .

    Forum

    Ready to go, whatever happens

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Where there’s a will …

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    These three are the best

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Sunder has bold vision

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    Archer, Nolan are my picks

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    She’s innovative, passionate

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    An accidental fan becomes a baseball devotee

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    U.N. steps up to lead Ebola response

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

    John Cole cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A8

     
    .

    Sports

    UCD’s Wegener is the engine that drives the train

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Villegas wonderstrike powers Devils

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    DHS golfers take the title

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Devil defense regresses in football loss

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1

    Sports briefs: Top-end tennis talent helps DHS girls grab a win

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Junior Blue Devils: Regular slate ends with 2 Davis teams playoff bound

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    After running the gridiron gauntlet, can UCD regroup?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    Stories on Stage Davis presents tales by Lescroart, Montieth

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Peggy Belenis Swisher

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, October 21, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, October 21, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7