Friday, August 22, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

She wants it all; what does he want?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: After 20 years of living together, my partner informed me that she was in love with someone else and had been slipping off to his house when she told me she was visiting a girlfriend. “Lois” says there was no sex involved — just hugging and kissing, etc.

I confronted this man, and he denied he had any feelings for Lois except as a friend. He said she asked him for a hug, so he hugged her, but nothing else happened. He denied they kissed. Twice after that, he told Lois to her face that he has no feelings for her.

This guy is a snowbird and is here only during the winter. Lois says she loves me, but is not “in love” with me, and when this guy returns, she is going to be hugging and kissing him whether I like it or not. She believes he loves her, no matter what he says.

Lois is 76, and I am 81. I told her there is no way she can continue to live with me if she’s going to remain friendly with this guy, and that I would leave. I love her, but will not share her. I also don’t believe this guy cares for her, but he doesn’t have the nerve to stop her from coming over. Please don’t suggest counseling. Lois has no interest in it.

The guy returns in November. Should I wait or leave?

— Florida Problems

Dear Florida: Lois wants both of you — you for the security, and the Other Man for the romance. He makes her feel young, and unless he actually turns her away, she will keep going over there. Can you rev up the romance over the summer so that Lois is less interested in anyone else? Do you think her infatuation will wear thin and fade away? Do you want to have an open relationship in which both of you can see other people?

You cannot change Lois’ behavior or that of the Other Man. You can only decide how you are going to handle the situation in whatever way works best for you.

————

Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for 20 years, and we have two kids in junior high. My problem is, my husband does not wash his hands after using the bathroom or blowing his nose, which drives me crazy.

I mentioned it early on, and he claimed he was “careful enough” so that nothing ever got on his hands. I know that’s not possible. How do I get through to him that he’s risking illness for himself and the entire family?

— Grossed Out in Quebec

Dear Quebec: Not washing one’s hands after using the bathroom, coughing or blowing one’s nose is a surefire way to transmit germs. It is particularly important to wash one’s hands before handling food. You could ask your husband to discuss the health risks with his doctor, or you could try behavior modification — refusing to kiss or touch him until he washes his hands, for example. But you cannot force him to be more considerate, sorry.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “M.S. in Montreal, Quebec,” who told the amusing story about a doctor and a lawyer who were always asked professional questions by friends. I would like to add a comment.

In my pre-retirement career, I hosted a home improvement call-in radio show. At any social function I attended, I was bombarded by questions about how to fix things. Once, a doctor came up to me and said, “I have a problem with a rain gutter. Can you help me?” I said, “Yes, give it two aspirins, and if it’s not better in the morning, call my radio show on Saturday.”

He apologized and said he had done the very thing he hated people doing to him. (By the way, he called me on Saturday.)

— MCH, Kelowna, B.C.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

No easy task: History buffs still trying to save building

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
DHS musicians back from summer in Italy

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
City to overhaul its sprinkler heads, other water-wasters

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Davis indecent-exposure suspect pleads no contest

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Not-guilty plea entered in Woodland homicide case

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Russian aid convoy reaches war-torn Luhansk

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Parents’ Night Out features Vacation Bible School

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Afternoon tours of city wetlands resume Sept. 6

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Yolo County golf tournament enters fourth year

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Putah Creek Council appoints new executive director

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A3

Communitywide ice bucket challenge on Sunday

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

 
Prunes take center stage at last agri-tour of the summer

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
In need of food? Apply for CalFresh

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Saylor will meet constituents at Peet’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Event will unveil mural celebrating food justice

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Writing couple stops at Davis bookstore

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Explorit: Final Blast show returns for second year

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A5

 
Wolk bill would require reporting of water system leaks

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Record drought saps California honey production

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
World travelers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Seniors set to stroll through Arboretum

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

.

Forum

Weightlifters causing a racket

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
No support for militarization

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

A better use for this vehicle

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Police are our friends, right?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Wage plan has a big flaw

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Bridging the digital divide with computational thinking

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

.

Sports

Watney and McIlroy struggle at start of The Barclays

By Wire and staff reports | From Page: B1

 
Light-hitting Cats fall

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Giants win nightcap in Chicago

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Watts likes what he’s seen in keen Aggie DB competition

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: Big West soccer coaches have high hopes for UCD men

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

.

Features

.

Arts

 
Davis Chinese Film Festival to kick off with 1994 favorite

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Rock Band campers perform at E Street Plaza

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Natsoulas to host mural conference

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

Yolo Mambo to play free show

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
‘If I Stay’: Existential angst

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11

.

Business

Car Care: Teenagers not driving safe cars, study shows

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
Car Care: Feeling the summer heat? Your car battery is too

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Three-wheeled Elio gets closer to going on sale

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, August 22, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6