Sunday, January 25, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

She wants it all; what does he want?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: After 20 years of living together, my partner informed me that she was in love with someone else and had been slipping off to his house when she told me she was visiting a girlfriend. “Lois” says there was no sex involved — just hugging and kissing, etc.

I confronted this man, and he denied he had any feelings for Lois except as a friend. He said she asked him for a hug, so he hugged her, but nothing else happened. He denied they kissed. Twice after that, he told Lois to her face that he has no feelings for her.

This guy is a snowbird and is here only during the winter. Lois says she loves me, but is not “in love” with me, and when this guy returns, she is going to be hugging and kissing him whether I like it or not. She believes he loves her, no matter what he says.

Lois is 76, and I am 81. I told her there is no way she can continue to live with me if she’s going to remain friendly with this guy, and that I would leave. I love her, but will not share her. I also don’t believe this guy cares for her, but he doesn’t have the nerve to stop her from coming over. Please don’t suggest counseling. Lois has no interest in it.

The guy returns in November. Should I wait or leave?

— Florida Problems

Dear Florida: Lois wants both of you — you for the security, and the Other Man for the romance. He makes her feel young, and unless he actually turns her away, she will keep going over there. Can you rev up the romance over the summer so that Lois is less interested in anyone else? Do you think her infatuation will wear thin and fade away? Do you want to have an open relationship in which both of you can see other people?

You cannot change Lois’ behavior or that of the Other Man. You can only decide how you are going to handle the situation in whatever way works best for you.

————

Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for 20 years, and we have two kids in junior high. My problem is, my husband does not wash his hands after using the bathroom or blowing his nose, which drives me crazy.

I mentioned it early on, and he claimed he was “careful enough” so that nothing ever got on his hands. I know that’s not possible. How do I get through to him that he’s risking illness for himself and the entire family?

— Grossed Out in Quebec

Dear Quebec: Not washing one’s hands after using the bathroom, coughing or blowing one’s nose is a surefire way to transmit germs. It is particularly important to wash one’s hands before handling food. You could ask your husband to discuss the health risks with his doctor, or you could try behavior modification — refusing to kiss or touch him until he washes his hands, for example. But you cannot force him to be more considerate, sorry.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “M.S. in Montreal, Quebec,” who told the amusing story about a doctor and a lawyer who were always asked professional questions by friends. I would like to add a comment.

In my pre-retirement career, I hosted a home improvement call-in radio show. At any social function I attended, I was bombarded by questions about how to fix things. Once, a doctor came up to me and said, “I have a problem with a rain gutter. Can you help me?” I said, “Yes, give it two aspirins, and if it’s not better in the morning, call my radio show on Saturday.”

He apologized and said he had done the very thing he hated people doing to him. (By the way, he called me on Saturday.)

— MCH, Kelowna, B.C.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Bridges of Yolo County: Wear, tear … repair?

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Four days of unusual, adventuresome music

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Spanish police arrest 4 suspected members of a jihadi cell

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Rockets kill 30 in Ukrainian city as rebels launch offensive

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Abe ‘speechless’ after video claims IS hostage dead

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

GOP presses state bills limiting gay rights before ruling

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Abortion opponents express renewed hope at California rally

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Share your love (story) with us

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Sip wines at St. James’ annual tasting

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Fake schools draw federal scrutiny

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Winter produce available at Sutter market

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Donations to be distributed during homeless count

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

 
Speaker will share computer security tips

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Logos Books celebrates 5 years, offers language groups

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Australian olive oil company opens U.S. headquarters in Woodland

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Explore at the YOLO Outdoor Expo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Yolo animal shelter seeking rawhide donations

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

Woodland Healthcare employees take Great Kindness Challenge

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
At the Pond: Nest boxes give birds new homes

By Jean Jackman | From Page: A6 | Gallery

California ranks worst in nation for guidance counselors

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Davis, Woodland are saving water

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A12

Words and Music Festival events

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A12

 
.

Forum

Family isn’t keen on relationship

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A8

 
 
Caring for the aging mouth

By Samer Alassaad | From Page: A8

Big utilities’ nightmare begins to play out

By Tom Elias | From Page: A10

 
Mayor’s Corner: Let’s renew Davis together

By Dan Wolk | From Page: A10

We have the right to choose

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
We don’t have to suffer

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

City helped immensely

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Rick McKee cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

When measles spreads from Disneyland, it’s a small world after all

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A11

 
From innovation parks to innovative buildings and planning

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

.

Sports

Wildcats’ inaugural kids development league exceeds expectations

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Aggies get top 2015 gymnastics score, but fall short

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Loud crowd sees DHS boys win

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lady Devils hold off Pacers, stay perfect in league

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

UCD men take two tennis matches

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

 
Watney in ninth at Humana Challenge

By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B8

.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

Davis man focusing on cannabidiol business

By Will Bellamy | From Page: A9

 
Marrone Bio’s Regalia approved for new uses in Canada

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

 
UCD grad makes insurance ‘hot 100′ list

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Yolo County real estate sales

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A9

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, January 25, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8