Wednesday, November 26, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

She’s ready to bail out

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | October 24, 2011 |

Dear Annie: I am 29 years old, have been married for eight years and have two toddlers. I have decided to leave my husband.

When we met, I was in college and my husband had just graduated. I quit school with the assumption that he would pass his licensure exam. He has since failed it three times. He has trouble retaining information and will likely never pass.

Four years ago, I had the opportunity to return to school, all expenses paid. I started classes six weeks after our first child was born. My husband was initially supportive, but over time, he has become jealous. I have passed all of my exams with flying colors. While I am careful not to make disparaging remarks about his licensure exam, I believe he is threatened by my success.

The closer I get to finishing the uglier it gets. Twice he said, “I hope you fail.” He has told me to quit school, knowing we would have to pay back every cent of the tuition. He said he doesn’t believe it is God’s will for me to attend school. (He’s also said that if I don’t have sex with him, it will be my fault if he fails his exam again.) The biggest problem is what he says in front of the kids. He told our oldest that Mommy was going to lose the house and we would have nowhere to live.

I don’t have the resources to leave him until I graduate, but I have opened a separate checking account and am moving my things into a storage unit because I believe he will destroy them. I want him to be close to the children, but I don’t trust him enough to share custody. He will try to make our children hate me. How do I ensure that I get primary, residential custody of my kids?

— Surviving in Virginia

Dear Virginia: In his desperation to control you, your husband’s frustration has become emotional abuse. We are concerned that this will escalate. It is possible that joint counseling, particularly with your clergy, might help him realize that his attitude is hurting everyone. In the meantime, custody arrangements do not come with advance guarantees, so please talk to a lawyer. And call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).

————

Dear Annie: I have been divorced for seven years. This past weekend, my daughter got married. Her father caught the garter at the reception. He did this a year ago when our younger daughter got married. I think this is in extremely poor taste. Why would a man want the garter his own daughter was wearing on her leg?

— Mother of the Bride

Dear Mother: You are reading too much into this. Your ex-husband is a single guy and, like all others in attendance, is entitled to fight for the bride’s garter. We agree that it doesn’t show much decorum on his part, nor is it what a good host would do (if he is paying for the wedding), but his boorish behavior is outside your control.

————

Dear Annie: I am responding to “Danged if I Do and Danged if I Don’t,” whose son and new wife don’t want her to contact the ex-daughter-in-law.

My son divorced seven years ago. My daughter-in-law is invited to every family function because she is the mother of my grandchildren. What would it say to them if I stopped having their mother over because Dad changed his mind about their marriage?

I invite my son and his wife to the same functions, and she is treated with respect. If she can’t handle it, it’s her problem. The children need to know how to forgive and move forward like adults.

— Been There in California

Dear California: Unfortunately, too many insecure second wives respond by cutting off all contact. Parents need to tread carefully.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Food fight … in a good way

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Fremont Weir parking lot remains closed

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1

    Occupy movement settles in at UC Davis

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Time to give thanks for nature’s beauty

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Second cat-hoarding suspect arrested

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    Guard reinforcements contain damage in Ferguson

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Weather affecting Thanksgiving travelers

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Year-end films to see, or not, on KDRT

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    LCI marks 50 years with special service

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Happy Thanksgiving from The Enterprise

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Learn to use Skype at Connections Café

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Girls who volunteer may apply for grant

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Round up at the registers for Davis schools

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Davis Community Gift Project brightens holidays for children

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Speaker proposes changes in humanities doctorate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Senior Center hosts holiday sing-along

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Sutter sponsors qigong for holiday de-stress

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Boy Scouts start Christmas tree sales on Friday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Volunteers needed to grow plants for habitat restoration

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Rainbow City community meeting set Dec. 1

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12

     
    .

    Forum

    She wants more from him

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Musings in the wake of Ferguson decision

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Rich Rifkin: Is it time to be a bear or a bull?

    By Rich Rifkin | From Page: A6

    Planting love at new home

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Innovation parks comparison

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Blue Devils prepare for a new season on the mat

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    No excuses, but there’s hope for UCD after 2-9 season

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

    Joseph, Manzanares lead 10 All-Big Sky Aggie picks

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    DHS wrestling is not just for boys

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Let’s not lose another good DHS coach

    By Chris Saur | From Page: B1

     
    Davis Little League offers early sign-up discounts

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

     
    Kings get past Pelicans

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

    .

    Features

    Salute to non-steamed broccoli

    By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    .

    Arts

    It really is ‘The Best Christmas Pageant Ever’

    By Debra DeAngelo | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Elzyne Thompson

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Death notice: Buddy Ralph Mills

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Wednesday, November 26, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Ready, Set, Shop!

    Shop locally: You can have your pie and eat it too

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: RSS1

    Santa’s little helper: secrets to happy holiday shopping

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: RSS2

    Make sure it gets there: deadlines for shopping and shipping

    By The Associated Press | From Page: RSS2

    Downtown lights up at holiday open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: RSS3

    Full of warm wishes and over-sharing, the holiday card lives on

    By The Associated Press | From Page: RSS4

    Shop smart: Protect your wallet and your identity this shopping season

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RSS5

    Woodland celebrates the holidays downtown

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RSS5