Thursday, April 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Should the family shun this guy?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: My cousin is a police officer in a neighboring city, and we only see him when the whole family is together. Recently, he was caught on camera beating up a woman he’d pulled over for something. From his statement and the camera footage, it seems the woman got mouthy and he responded physically. It was graphic.

We’re all keeping silent on this matter, and fortunately, it hasn’t spread all over the universe on YouTube or anything. But I’m really angry about it. We would never tolerate seeing a man attack a woman on the street. We would not tolerate my cousin hitting his wife. Why do we tolerate him doing this just because he’s a cop?

I’ll hold my tongue for another six months, but that’s it. I really want to suggest to my parents that we stop inviting him to family events, because I don’t want to seem as if I am condoning his behavior. If I were caught beating up a woman on the street, I promise you my relatives would not want me anywhere near their kids. What should I do?

— Angry Cousin

Dear Angry: We assume your cousin’s superiors are aware of the incident and have reprimanded or disciplined him accordingly. Does he have a history of such behavior? If this is the sole instance and he has shown genuine regret, please try to forgive him. This is what family does. If you need to discuss it with him, do so. But it isn’t your place to ban him from family gatherings if the rest of the relatives want him there. Your choice is only to attend or not.

————

Dear Annie: I am a 24-year-old college student who still lives with my parents. I love them and my two siblings very much, and I know that they love me. However, they are neither understanding nor supportive when anyone makes a mistake. As a result, there is not much I feel I can tell them.

Usually, I can handle my problems by myself, but some things are difficult to handle alone. A few months ago, I suffered a miscarriage. My father once told us that if we ever got pregnant before marriage, we would be disowned. I realize parents often say things to scare some sense into their children, but I know my parents, and they would do it.

I have not told them about the miscarriage, nor do I plan to. I am going through some emotional upheaval: sadness, anger, guilt for not taking enough precautions to prevent the pregnancy and a lot of confusion.

My boyfriend is wonderful, loving and supportive. But I wish more than anything that I could rely on my parents and siblings for support. Here’s a message to all parents, siblings and family members: Please let us know we can come to you for support and caring. Though you might be angry, try not to overreact. When you fail to do this, it can have larger consequences than you realize.

— Grieving

Dear Grieving: Our condolences on your loss. We think most parents would regret knowing their child felt too uncomfortable or fearful to come to them for support, and you might let them know this is the impression they give. There are many support groups specifically for women who miscarry. We recommend SHARE at nationalshare.org.

————

Dear Annie: I just read a letter from “Disrespected,” who asked about cellphone etiquette. My complaint is that she called herself a “working mom,” and her friend was a “non-working” mom.

When are people going to stop using these terms? Someone who takes care of kids, cleans, cooks, shops, makes appointments and takes care of endless details morning and night is not “non-working.” Moms who care for their kids and homes work harder than anyone I know, so please, let’s give them the respect they deserve and recognize their hard work.

— All Moms Are Working Moms

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

News

Will city move forward on public power review?

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
 
4-H members get ready for Spring Show

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Obama to Russia: More sanctions are ‘teed up’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 3 Comments

 
2 pursuits, 2 arrests keep Woodland officers busy

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
 
Conference puts focus on Arab studies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Youth sports in focus on radio program

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Rummage sale will benefit preschool

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Concert benefits South Korea exchange

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Davis honors ‘green’ citizens

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Water rate assistance bill advances

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Program explores STEM careers for girls

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 4 Comments

 
Embroiderers plan a hands-on project

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Central Park Gardens to host Volunteer Orientation Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Volkssporting Club plans North Davis walks

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Hotel/conference center info meeting set

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
MOMS Club plans open house

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Cycle de Mayo benefits Center for Families

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

Author to read ‘The Cat Who Chose to Dream’

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A12

 
.

Forum

Things are turning sour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

The high cost of employment

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

 
High-five to Union Bank

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Broken sprinklers waste water

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Three more administrators?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Neustadt has experience for the job

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Here’s a plan to save big on employee costs

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6, 4 Comments

Davis is fair, thoughtful

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Ortiz is the right choice for Yolo

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

.

Sports

DHS tracksters sweep another DVC meet

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Another DVC blowout for DHS girls soccer

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1, 2 Comments | Gallery

Young reinvents his game to help Aggies improve on the diamond

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
DHS boys shuffle the deck to beat Cards

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

DHS/Franklin II is a close loss for Devil softballers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Baseball roundup: Giants slam Rockies in the 11th

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
UCD roundup: Aggies lose a softball game at Pacific

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

Jahn jumps to Sacramento Republic FC

By Evan Ream | From Page: B8

 
.

Features

.

Arts

 
Bach Soloists wrap up season on April 28

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A11

Congressional art competition open to high school students

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Emerson, Da Vinci to present ‘Once Upon a Mattress’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Winters Plein Air Festival begins Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Thursday, April 24, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6