Thursday, November 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Son has no direction in life

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: My 22-year-old son, “Nick,” spends most of his time playing video games. He was fired from several jobs last year because he stopped showing up. We had no idea.

We finally kicked him out. It was the hardest decision of my life. He lived with various relatives and friends until he started lying to them about work. Nick is now at his father’s, who lets him stay rent-free, contributing nothing.

I managed to get Nick to see a psychiatrist briefly. I went along to make sure he told the truth, but as soon as the therapist wanted him to continue on his own, he canceled the next appointment, saying the therapist didn’t do anything but ask him questions.

I am concerned that Nick will do something drastic, like harm himself. When I brought it up, he said he would never do that. But he’s alone so much and seems so aimless. Is there anything I can do besides pray?

— Worried Mom in Alabama

Dear Mom: There are a lot of possibilities to consider: Might Nick be drinking or using drugs? Is he addicted to video games and cannot tear himself away? Is he depressed? And, of course, there is the “lazy” factor, in that he has a place to stay, rent-free, and is not required to do anything at all, including grow up.

The fact that Nick is alone and aimless does not make him suicidal, but it can feed on itself and make him more lethargic. And the longer he is without work, the harder it will be to find the next job. Please see whether you can get Nick to see a physician for a checkup. Then talk to your ex-husband about your next step.

————

Dear Annie: I am very frustrated. My daughter is graduating soon, and I sent out invitations for a party, leaving an RSVP with my phone number. Catering is expensive, and I was hoping the guests would call me to tell me whether they are able to attend. So far, only two people have responded. Out of 40.

A few years ago, I ordered food for 300 guests, only to have 70 people show up, resulting in a lot of food being thrown away. But another time, I ordered for 100 people, and we ran out of food because 150 came. Please tell your readers not to ignore an RSVP. It’s there for a reason.

— Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: This is an ongoing frustration for many of our readers. Of course people should have the decency to respond to invitations in a timely manner. Your only recourse, sorry to say, is to call each person and ask whether he or she is planning to attend.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Perplexed,” who wanted to get his parents to stop bothering him by incessantly calling or visiting. I liked your answer, suggesting he call for five minutes every day to reassure Dad that he is OK and to make sure that Dad is OK, too.

My mom was my best friend, and I loved her very much. After my partner and I were in a bad automobile accident, we recuperated at Mom’s home. When we left, she cried and asked whether I would do something for her: call once a day to let her know that we are OK.

I did that and then began to call her at night, too, just to say, “I love you, Mom.” About a year later, I called in the morning, and there was no answer. She had passed away in her sleep. My consolation was that the last words I said to her were “I love you.” There is nothing kids can do to make up for the times that they avoided their parents and complained that they were such a “bother.”

— Louisville, Ky.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    What’s in Village Harvest’s new name? Local control

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    ‘Dolphin Way’ author to speak at Davis Parent University

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Jumpstart Davis hopes to spark Davis’ startup scene

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1

     
    UC committee approves tuition hike

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Cost of Thanksgiving is going up, but not by much

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Bera prevails in close congressional race

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Analyst: No ‘fiscal cliff’ when tax hikes end

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    First of three storms douses California

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Taize services offered at DCC

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Per Capita Davis: News from the funny papers

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A3

     
    Staying clean could harm your health

    By Pat Bailey | From Page: A3

    Racial justice resources available at open house Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pre-Thanksgiving Farmers Market open on Nov. 26

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Realtors seek canned food donations Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    #EggFreezing trends for women in tech

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A3

    NAMI support group meets Sunday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Walkers welcome to join Sierra Club outings

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    End a hike with qigong practice

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    STEAC jeans drive on Dec. 10

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

    Fraternity launches ‘Green the Greeks’ program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Museum displays family heirlooms

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    San Diego advances plan to recycle wastewater

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

     
    Breakfast with Santa tickets available now

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Join DHS Madrigals for annual evening of food and music

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Performers sought to liven up holiday markets

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    For the vets

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Forum

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    We urge a ‘no’ vote on BDS

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Senior kitty needs a home

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    David Brooks: Obama in winter

    By David Brooks | From Page: A6

    Caregivers overlook a valuable ally

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Offensive line, Turay provide impressive UCD convoy

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Blue Devil pool teams make one more splash

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Young DHS harriers have a big day at section championships

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Youth roundup: Diamonds shine at Level 4 state meet

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

     
    What’s happening

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A7

    DHS teacher puts his facial hair on the line in annual fundraiser

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Backyard apples? It can be done

    By Don Shor | From Page: A8 | Gallery

    Name Droppers: Governor taps UC Davis grad for bench

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

     
    Robotics team takes second in Madera competition

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    .

    Arts

     
    ‘Cat Ballou’ closes Western film series

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Here’s a little more about water conservation

    By Michael Lewis | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    DMTC plans tile-painting fundraiser

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Nancy Shepard

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    As usual, three’s a crowd

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, November 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6