Friday, September 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Son has no direction in life

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: My 22-year-old son, “Nick,” spends most of his time playing video games. He was fired from several jobs last year because he stopped showing up. We had no idea.

We finally kicked him out. It was the hardest decision of my life. He lived with various relatives and friends until he started lying to them about work. Nick is now at his father’s, who lets him stay rent-free, contributing nothing.

I managed to get Nick to see a psychiatrist briefly. I went along to make sure he told the truth, but as soon as the therapist wanted him to continue on his own, he canceled the next appointment, saying the therapist didn’t do anything but ask him questions.

I am concerned that Nick will do something drastic, like harm himself. When I brought it up, he said he would never do that. But he’s alone so much and seems so aimless. Is there anything I can do besides pray?

— Worried Mom in Alabama

Dear Mom: There are a lot of possibilities to consider: Might Nick be drinking or using drugs? Is he addicted to video games and cannot tear himself away? Is he depressed? And, of course, there is the “lazy” factor, in that he has a place to stay, rent-free, and is not required to do anything at all, including grow up.

The fact that Nick is alone and aimless does not make him suicidal, but it can feed on itself and make him more lethargic. And the longer he is without work, the harder it will be to find the next job. Please see whether you can get Nick to see a physician for a checkup. Then talk to your ex-husband about your next step.

————

Dear Annie: I am very frustrated. My daughter is graduating soon, and I sent out invitations for a party, leaving an RSVP with my phone number. Catering is expensive, and I was hoping the guests would call me to tell me whether they are able to attend. So far, only two people have responded. Out of 40.

A few years ago, I ordered food for 300 guests, only to have 70 people show up, resulting in a lot of food being thrown away. But another time, I ordered for 100 people, and we ran out of food because 150 came. Please tell your readers not to ignore an RSVP. It’s there for a reason.

— Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: This is an ongoing frustration for many of our readers. Of course people should have the decency to respond to invitations in a timely manner. Your only recourse, sorry to say, is to call each person and ask whether he or she is planning to attend.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Perplexed,” who wanted to get his parents to stop bothering him by incessantly calling or visiting. I liked your answer, suggesting he call for five minutes every day to reassure Dad that he is OK and to make sure that Dad is OK, too.

My mom was my best friend, and I loved her very much. After my partner and I were in a bad automobile accident, we recuperated at Mom’s home. When we left, she cried and asked whether I would do something for her: call once a day to let her know that we are OK.

I did that and then began to call her at night, too, just to say, “I love you, Mom.” About a year later, I called in the morning, and there was no answer. She had passed away in her sleep. My consolation was that the last words I said to her were “I love you.” There is nothing kids can do to make up for the times that they avoided their parents and complained that they were such a “bother.”

— Louisville, Ky.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Grant means new push for moving tracks out of town

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Some say council needs to reconsider MRAP

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

UC to create $250 million venture capital fund

By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A1

 
School district may redevelop downtown site

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1

 
Master Gardeners share their wisdom at free workshops

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Scots vote to stay in UK

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
France strikes Islamic State group’s depot in Iraq

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Man faces arson charge in huge California wildfire

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
DUI suspected in crash

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

Woodland Healthcare offering flu shots

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Storyteller will draw on music, dance

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Putah Creek Bike Path to close temporarily

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Little Free Libraries open at Montgomery

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

 
Project Linus seeks donations

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Rabid bat found at Holmes Junior High

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Students invited to apply for Blue & White grants

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Telling tales, on ‘Davisville’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Halloween costume sale benefits preschool

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Volunteers sought to make veggie bags

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Register to vote by Oct. 20

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Free workout class set at library

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Explorit: Lots of ways to be a volunteer

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Sierra Club remembers longtime walker

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

DHS Classes of 1954 and 1955 will hold 60th reunion

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Nonprofits can get DCN’s help

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Davis maps available at Chamber office

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Need a new best friend?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Reception benefits endangered gorillas

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Downtown history tour planned in October

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Wolk applauds approval of stronger rules for olive oil

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Davis hosts its own climate change rally

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

Sutter Farmers Market offers local goods

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Qigong classes available for heart health

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

.

Forum

Sick of being the bad guy

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Cheers and Jeers: Not the end of the rainbow

By Our View | From Page: A6

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

 
Return to previous plan

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Save the ‘pine cone place’

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Affirm our community values

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Project has safety risks

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Learn more about Paso Fino

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Educate homeless with dogs

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

 
.

Sports

Aggies’ new energy could be scary for Big West

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
No rest for the weary: Aggie TE Martindale busy on and off the field

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Devils hope the light bulb turns on at Edison

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
River Cats and Giants sign two-year deal

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Blue Devil volleyballers hold off Herd

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Take Zona and Bama this week

By Bob Dunning | From Page: B2

Mustangs are no match for DHS boys in water polo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

 
A’s slide continues as Rangers sweep

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

.

Features

Name Droppers: Awards keep coming for UC Davis retiree

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
.

Business

Redesigned 2015 Escalade remains breed all its own

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, September 19, 2014

By Creator | From Page: A10

 
.

Real Estate Review

Featured Listing

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER1

Professional Services Directory

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER2

Taylor Morrison

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER3

Malek Baroody

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER4

Norcal Land

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER5

Robin Garland

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER6

Karen Waggoner

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER7

Dana Hawkins

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER7

Martha Bernauer

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER8

Joe Kaplan

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER8

Lynne Wegner

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER8

Remax

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER9

Melrina A Maggiora

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER10

Wells Fargo Home Mortgage

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER11

Julie Leonard

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER11

Coldwell Banker

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER12

Kim Eichorn

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER14

Lyon Real Estate

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER15

Julie Partain

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER16

Jamie Madison & Associates

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER16

Marcelo Campos

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER16

Bob Bockwinkel

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER17

Juan Ramirez

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER17

Kim Merrel Lamb

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER17

Chris Snow

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER18

James Hanna

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER18

Raul Zamora

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER19

Susan von Geldern

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER19

Travis Credit Union

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER20

Jamie Madison

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER21

Karen Waggoner

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER21

Lisa Haass

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER22

Tracy Harris

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER22

First Street Real Estate

By Zack Snow | From Page: RER24