Friday, April 17, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Stuck with the raconteur

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 04, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I have been married for 25 years to a husband who provides well for his family. We are now empty nesters. However, my husband feels he has to be a social butterfly with everyone on the golf course or in a bar.

When he drinks, he doesn’t know when enough is enough, and it leads to major fighting and stress in our marriage. He feels that because he doesn’t physically touch me, he is not abusive in any way. But he is mentally and emotionally hurtful.

All of his friends think he is such a nice guy. But his friends have plenty of affairs, and some are on their third or fourth marriages. Although my husband says he has never had an affair, it is hard to believe him when he takes in so much alcohol with his cheating friends.

How do I convince him that his marriage is more important than the social partying? We have attempted counseling, but he manipulates the conversation to the point where I am the only one with an issue and he is a perfectly good guy. Do I continue to worry myself sick, or do I push for counseling again even though it doesn’t do any good? I don’t want a divorce, but I also cannot continue to let him do whatever he pleases while I sit home getting worked up about it.

— Hurt and Alone

Dear Hurt: We think there is a disconnect between your expectations and your reality. Presumably, your husband has been a social drinker with the same types of friends for 25 years of marriage. Without children around to occupy your time and thoughts, you seem to be more focused on your husband’s shortcomings.

If you think he’s cheating, go back for counseling, either with him or without him, and gain some perspective on your choices. If he is constantly drunk, cannot function or becomes belligerent toward you, contact Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org). But if your problem is that he seems to be having fun while you are sitting at home fretting, we strongly urge you to get involved in activities that interest you, make some new friends and live your life the way you want it to be.

————

Dear Annie: My daughter is a bridesmaid for a sorority sister’s fall wedding. She bought her dress, and the bridal shower is planned.

The bride’s younger sister is her maid of honor. Since she is under 21, she will not be able to get into bars. So the bride decided she wants to go out of state for the bachelorette party for two days. The cost is $350 per person, but it doesn’t include meals or gasoline for the 11-hour car trip that no one has offered to drive yet.

Needless to say, this is way over her budget, but my daughter feels she has no alternative. I’ve heard that other bridesmaids also feel this is excessive but won’t speak up at this late date. Isn’t this asking a lot? Are there no limitations to expenses once you agree to be in the wedding party?

— Not Made Out of Money in Maryland

Dear Maryland: Brides have been known to go overboard with their financial demands on attendants. Your daughter should have spoken up early on. Now, her choice is to pay up, back out of the bachelorette party or back out of the obligation to stand up altogether, allowing the bride to choose someone more eager to part with the money. Once she speaks up, the others may, too.

————

Dear Annie: I read the complaint from “Frustrated,” the woman whose friend does not drive. In our area, transportation services are offered at low cost. The services in the Los Angeles area are Dial a Ride and Access. Both are great. “Frustrated” can then offer her driving service on her terms. It also will give her friend the feeling of independence.

— Been There in California

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Psychedelic rock posters recall 1960s concerts

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    UCD study: Crickets not enough to feed the world just yet

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A1

    It’ll be a perfect day for a picnic — and lots more

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Turning a mess into olive oil success

    By Dave Jones | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    UCD expands emergency notification service

    By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A2

     
    California vaccine bill stalls; will come back next week

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Cities: California water reduction order unrealistic, unfair

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Bob Dunning: Chasing criminals and water-wasters

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

    Enjoy a chemistry bang on Picnic Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Start your Picnic Day with pancakes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Local students to perform at fundraising concert

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    CA House hosts crepe breakfast

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Doxie Derby crowns the winning wiener

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Fundraiser benefits Ugandan women

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    See pups at Picnic Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Davis poet will read his work at library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Free blood pressure screenings offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4Comments are off for this post

     
    Rotary Club hosts whisky tasting

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Ribs and Rotary benefits local charities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Dodd plans fundraising barbecue in Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Soroptimists set date for golf tourney

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Socks collected for homeless veterans

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Council will present environmental awards Tuesday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Invention and upcycling to be honored at Square Tomatoes Fair

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Take a peek at Putah Creek on daylong tour

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Pence Gallery Garden Tour tickets on sale

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    UC Davis Circle K Club wins awards at district convention

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Davis authors featured at writing conference in Stockton

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Sign up soon for Davis history tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    Campus firearms bill passes Senate committee

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Emerson featured at photography program

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Portuguese influence in Yolo County detailed

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Concert and dance party celebrate KDRT’s 10 years on the air

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Survival skills to be taught at preserve

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

    .

    Forum

    The new one puts her foot down

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A8

    It’s time to fight for California’s jobs

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Future leaders give back

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Know where your gift is going

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    Pipeline veto a good move

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

     
    Artists offer heartfelt thanks

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

    .

    Sports

    DHS boys drop another Delta League match

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie women ready to host (win?) Big West golf tourney

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

    New strength coach hopes to stem UCD football injury tide

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Herd has too much for Devil softballers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Les, AD Gould talk about the Aggie coach’s future

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    UCD roundup: Quintet of Aggie gymnasts honored for academics

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    River Cats fall to Las Vegas

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

     
    Diamondbacks defeat Giants in 12 innings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B12 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    DSF kicks off 10th anniversary celebration at the carousel

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: B5

     
    Many summer enrichment opportunities available for students

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: B5

     
    What’s happening

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: B5

    .

    Arts

    ‘True Story:’ In their dreams

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    ‘Once’ an unforgetable celebration of music, relationships

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    Honda shows off new Civic at New York show

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Ruth Rodenbeck Stumpf

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Robert Leigh Cordrey

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, April 17, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B10