Thursday, April 24, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Teen navigating rough waters

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I am a teenager. In our society, the central message is that you need to look perfect and have tons of money. It’s drilled into our heads every day, and I feel the pressure.

Clothing companies tell me I need to wear their labels to be popular, cosmetic companies convince me with airbrushed models that their makeup will make me look flawless, and weight programs promise to give me the perfect body. People undergo surgery to make their faces and bodies more appealing because they have been brainwashed into believing the body they were given isn’t good enough.

While all this goes on, there are simultaneous advertisements for suicide hotlines, medication for depression, and help with bulimia and anorexia. I am sick of it. I don’t want to feel like I must look like every Photoshopped model in the magazines to be accepted. I am beginning to question the society I live in. Is there anything to do?

— Teen Lacking Self-Esteem

Dear Teen: You sound like a pretty smart cookie to us. You already understand that the reason behind such advertisements is to sell product, and that the pressure to be “flawless” is manufactured by companies that benefit from your purchases. This pressure is internalized and can breed insecurity in those who don’t feel they measure up.

We know it’s difficult, but remember that those who are interested primarily in superficial appearances aren’t particularly appealing in the long run. Please don’t feel obligated to attract such people. There are plenty who still value integrity, intelligence, confidence and a good personality. If you cultivate those traits, your self-esteem will develop right alongside them.

————

Dear Annie: We recently received a wedding invitation for a Friday wedding that starts at 5:30. I think that is too early for a Friday night wedding. It borders on rude by asking people to take time off from work or rush like crazy to get there on time. What do you think?

— Keep Your Guests in Mind

Dear Keep: While bridal couples should not put undue burdens on their guests, they do get to decide what time to start their wedding. (It would be impossible to please everyone.) Many weddings begin with some socialization before the actual ceremony, so you may not be as late or as rushed as you think. Please try to enjoy yourself and wish the couple well without resenting the inconvenience to you.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Too Clean, Too Fearful,” who was not interested in counseling to address her anxieties about travel. Her relatives were also concerned that she is obsessed with the cleanliness of her home.

I had similar difficulties and eventually discovered that I have a mild form of OCD. This is a much misunderstood but fairly common problem. Some OCD sufferers give up on counseling because some therapies may not be effective, but they have not yet tried a cognitive approach called ERP (exposure response prevention). Working with a counselor who is trained in ERP therapy could be enormously beneficial. Please suggest she contact the International OCD Foundation (ocfoundation.org), which offers information about therapists and treatment.

— S.

Dear S.: Thank you for suggesting that “Too Clean” may have a form of OCD. We have often recommended the International OCD Foundation in this space and hope she will contact them.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    4-H members get ready for Spring Show

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Will city move forward on public power review?

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

     
    Obama to Russia: More sanctions are ‘teed up’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    2 pursuits, 2 arrests keep Woodland officers busy

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
     
    Youth sports in focus on radio program

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Rummage sale will benefit preschool

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Concert benefits South Korea exchange

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Conference puts focus on Arab studies

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Davis honors ‘green’ citizens

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Water rate assistance bill advances

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Program explores STEM careers for girls

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 1 Comment

     
    Embroiderers plan a hands-on project

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Central Park Gardens to host Volunteer Orientation Day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Volkssporting Club plans North Davis walks

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Hotel/conference center info meeting set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    MOMS Club plans open house

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Cycle de Mayo benefits Center for Families

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

    Author to read ‘The Cat Who Chose to Dream’

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A12

     
    .

    Forum

    Things are turning sour

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    The high cost of employment

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

    High-five to Union Bank

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Broken sprinklers waste water

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Three more administrators?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Neustadt has experience for the job

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Here’s a plan to save big on employee costs

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6, 3 Comments

     
    Davis is fair, thoughtful

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Ortiz is the right choice for Yolo

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    DHS tracksters sweep another DVC meet

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Another DVC blowout for DHS girls soccer

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Young reinvents his game to help Aggies improve on the diamond

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    DHS boys shuffle the deck to beat Cards

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    DHS/Franklin II is a close loss for Devil softballers

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Baseball roundup: Giants slam Rockies in the 11th

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

     
    UCD roundup: Aggies lose a softball game at Pacific

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

     
    Jahn jumps to Sacramento Republic FC

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    Congressional art competition open to high school students

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Emerson, Da Vinci to present ‘Once Upon a Mattress’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Winters Plein Air Festival begins Friday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Bach Soloists wrap up season on April 28

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, April 24, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6