Sunday, May 3, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Thanks for spreading the love

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 14, 2014 |

Dear Readers: Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all, along with our special good wishes to the veterans in VA hospitals around the country. And our particular thanks to those readers who have taken the time to send valentines, visit the vets and volunteer at VA facilities. Bless each and every one of you.

————

Dear Annie: Thirty years ago, my husband’s sister-in-law made a pass at him. They worked at the same place, so when he turned her down, she made his life a living hell. He ended up quitting the job, and we left town. She and my brother-in-law are divorced now, but we see her occasionally at family gatherings.

This woman has been hospitalized twice for breakdowns. Most of the family is cordial to her, knowing that a lot of what she did in the past was due to her illness. When her meds are working and she is feeling stable, she reaches out to those she has hurt to make amends. She reached out to my husband, tearfully admitting that she knows she is the reason we left, and has asked for forgiveness.

She now thinks everything is just fine. The problem is, she has never reached out to me to apologize for the way she upended my life. She doesn’t know my husband told me what happened. Even after all these years, I have a hard time smiling and pretending everything is hunky-dory.

I have forgiven her, but forgetting is something else, and every time I see her, the old anger comes back. My husband agrees that nothing would be gained by bringing these things up again. Any suggestions for moving past this in a positive way?

— Wronged but Silent in Wisconsin

Dear Wronged: You haven’t actually forgiven her, because her presence still makes you angry. If you believe an apology from her would make a difference, you should calmly let her know. But if you don’t think it matters one way or the other, please consider talking this through with a professional who can help you let go of the past completely.

————

Dear Annie: We have 5-year-old twins. We enrolled them in a swimming class last year. Our son had a bad experience and didn’t want to continue. Our daughter, however, loved it and is doing great. After a couple of months, our son decided to return to classes. (We think he was jealous of his sister’s achievement.) Naturally, he is a level behind her. He now cries and wants to be on her level.

We think it would be unfair to hold our daughter back for a while so her brother can catch up. However, if we do hold her back, we can enroll them in semi-private lessons together, saving money as well as transportation time. It also solves the problem of our son’s jealousy. Should we do it?

— Swimmers Parents

Dear Parents: As a general rule, it is never a good idea to force kids to accomplish anything at the same speed, moving them forward and back so one isn’t jealous of the other. This is a recipe for a lifetime of craziness and resentment. If you wish to put both children in the same class because you want to save money and time, that is a different issue and certainly justifiable. If the lessons are semi-private, your daughter should be able to move ahead at her own speed, which is not the same as holding her back.

————

Dear Annie: I believe you overlooked something in your response to “Getting This Off My Chest.”

The writer stated that he is positive his wife got pregnant intentionally. It takes two! Even if she “assures” him that it is a “safe” time of the month, that’s no guarantee. Other precautions should be taken. It’s a shared responsibility

— Albany, N.Y.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Breaking barriers: For Prieto, it’s all about hard work

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Council to hear about drought pricing

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

Peaceful Baltimore demonstrators praise top prosecutor

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Nigeria: Nearly 300 freed women, children led to safety

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Graveyard thefts land three Woodlanders behind bars

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

Downtown altercation leads to injuries

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

 
Woman arrested for brandishing knife on overpass

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A3

Yolo DA launches monthly newsletter

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Can plants talk? UCD prof will answer that question

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

A Scottish setting for local author’s next book

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Free beginner yoga class offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Video discusses surveillance of prostate cancer

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

NAMI support group meets May 10

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Dr. G featured on the radio

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Fee proposed on rail cars that haul oil, other flammables

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Indoor Fun Fly comes to Woodland

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Internships move UCD doctoral students beyond academia

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Make Mom a warm vanilla sugar scrub

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

 
The secret to Mother’s Day gifting success: Give time, not stuff

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Letter book is series of collected missives thanking Mom

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
If your mom fancies something fancy, consider a tea party

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Out of Africa and back to Davis: James Carey will give special presentation

By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Big Day of Giving makes philanthropy easy

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Tuleyome Tales: How are a snake and a mushroom alike?

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
Tuleyome hosts Snow Mountain camping trip

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Forum

End of life doesn’t mean life must end

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
Advancing education for California’s former foster youths

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

With sincere gratitude

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
A wonderful day of service

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Please help Baltimore

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Eyewitness to the ‘fall’ of Vietnam: It was not a bloodbath

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5 | Gallery

He can’t give it up

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B6

 
 
Dangers from prescription pills

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

.

Sports

UCD softball splits with Titans

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Trifecta of Devil teams open playoffs Tuesday

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Defending champ DHS clinches a baseball playoff berth

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Making memories at Aggie Stadium

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: DHS boys win to reach lacrosse playoffs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

UCD roundup: Aggie women speed past Hornets

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12 | Gallery

 
Pro baseball roundup: Hudson pitches Giants past Angels

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12

.

Features

.

Arts

.

Business

Arcadia partners on soybean trait to improve yield

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Marrone opens new greenhouse

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
New firm helps students on path to college

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A8

Yolo County real estate sales

By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Sunday, May 3, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8