Friday, November 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Thanks for spreading the love

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 14, 2014 |

Dear Readers: Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all, along with our special good wishes to the veterans in VA hospitals around the country. And our particular thanks to those readers who have taken the time to send valentines, visit the vets and volunteer at VA facilities. Bless each and every one of you.

————

Dear Annie: Thirty years ago, my husband’s sister-in-law made a pass at him. They worked at the same place, so when he turned her down, she made his life a living hell. He ended up quitting the job, and we left town. She and my brother-in-law are divorced now, but we see her occasionally at family gatherings.

This woman has been hospitalized twice for breakdowns. Most of the family is cordial to her, knowing that a lot of what she did in the past was due to her illness. When her meds are working and she is feeling stable, she reaches out to those she has hurt to make amends. She reached out to my husband, tearfully admitting that she knows she is the reason we left, and has asked for forgiveness.

She now thinks everything is just fine. The problem is, she has never reached out to me to apologize for the way she upended my life. She doesn’t know my husband told me what happened. Even after all these years, I have a hard time smiling and pretending everything is hunky-dory.

I have forgiven her, but forgetting is something else, and every time I see her, the old anger comes back. My husband agrees that nothing would be gained by bringing these things up again. Any suggestions for moving past this in a positive way?

— Wronged but Silent in Wisconsin

Dear Wronged: You haven’t actually forgiven her, because her presence still makes you angry. If you believe an apology from her would make a difference, you should calmly let her know. But if you don’t think it matters one way or the other, please consider talking this through with a professional who can help you let go of the past completely.

————

Dear Annie: We have 5-year-old twins. We enrolled them in a swimming class last year. Our son had a bad experience and didn’t want to continue. Our daughter, however, loved it and is doing great. After a couple of months, our son decided to return to classes. (We think he was jealous of his sister’s achievement.) Naturally, he is a level behind her. He now cries and wants to be on her level.

We think it would be unfair to hold our daughter back for a while so her brother can catch up. However, if we do hold her back, we can enroll them in semi-private lessons together, saving money as well as transportation time. It also solves the problem of our son’s jealousy. Should we do it?

— Swimmers Parents

Dear Parents: As a general rule, it is never a good idea to force kids to accomplish anything at the same speed, moving them forward and back so one isn’t jealous of the other. This is a recipe for a lifetime of craziness and resentment. If you wish to put both children in the same class because you want to save money and time, that is a different issue and certainly justifiable. If the lessons are semi-private, your daughter should be able to move ahead at her own speed, which is not the same as holding her back.

————

Dear Annie: I believe you overlooked something in your response to “Getting This Off My Chest.”

The writer stated that he is positive his wife got pregnant intentionally. It takes two! Even if she “assures” him that it is a “safe” time of the month, that’s no guarantee. Other precautions should be taken. It’s a shared responsibility

— Albany, N.Y.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    UC regents approve 5% tuition increases

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
     
    A new home for the holidays?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Workshop will answer financial aid questions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
     
    Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Explorit: Lecture illuminates state water bond

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

     
    Apply now to take Master Gardener training

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Yolobus will reroute Saturday morning for Turkey Trot

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Help feed the hungry at Saturday’s food drive

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Volunteers sought to advocate for kids

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Village Homes gets crafty

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Nowhere to go, nothing to do

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Davis voices concerns over new oil-by-rail proposal

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Cheers and Jeers: Katehi front and center

    By Our View | From Page: A10

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    Council misses an opportunity

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Together we can do so much

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Have you read this book?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    We DO have a water shortage

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    .

    Sports

    UCD men get to 2-0

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Silveria has been there through thick and thin

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    Whose seniors will go out in style at Causeway Classic No. 61?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    LBSU takes down UCD in matchup of Big West’s best

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Wire sports briefs: Kings cruise past Chicago

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Raiders beat K.C. to snap a 16-game skid

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    Aggie women start 4-game homestand Saturday at 11 a.m.

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    The Purple Ones to play tribute to Prince

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1′ fails to catch fire

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    Wealth of Nations show is Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    Davis Feminist Film Festival accepting submissions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    Come ‘Home for the Holidays’ and benefit school arts

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

    Founding pastor of UCC’s now-famous painting on display

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    Automakers debut key models at L.A. Auto Show

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, November 21, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Real Estate Review

    Featured Listing

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER1

    Professional Services Directory

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER2

    Lyon Real Estate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER3

    RE/Max Gold

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER4

    Kim Eichorn

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER5

    Joe Kaplan

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER6

    Melrina A Maggiora

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER6

    Lennar Homes

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER7

    Marcelo Campos

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER7

    Team Traverso

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

    Tracy Harris

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

    Yolo FCU

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

    Travis Credit Union

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER9

    Coldwell Banker

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER10

    Diane Lardelli

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

    Jamie Madison

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

    Ciana Wallace

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

    Wells Fargo Home Mortgage

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER13

    Malek Baroody

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER13

    Julie Partain

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER14

    Coldwell Banker

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER15

    Cynthia Gerber

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

    Karen Waggoner

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

    Jamie Madison & Associates

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

    Dana Hawkins & Caitlin McCalla

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER18

    Chris Snow

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER18

    Open House Map

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER19

    F1rst Street Real Estate

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER20