Wednesday, January 28, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

The ATM is running dry

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | November 20, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I work in a large organization and know my colleagues quite well. Though I enjoy working with them, a number of them recently have begun borrowing cash from me. These are usually requests for small amounts to cover the cost of lunch or coffee, but over time, they add up. Not a single one of them has ever voluntarily repaid me. When I ask, the person inevitably looks surprised, smacks his or her forehead and says, “Sorry, I forgot,” before handing over the money.

It’s not that I don’t want to be helpful and collegial, but I have come to realize that if I don’t pursue those in my debt, I’ll never get the money back and will have to write off those sums. Even if my colleagues aren’t doing this intentionally, I can’t help thinking that in some way, I’m encouraging irresponsible behavior.

Is there a professionally appropriate way of saying no the next time I’m asked for cash?

— California Casey

Dear California: You have apparently been tagged as an “easy mark” in your office. It’s perfectly OK to say pleasantly and politely, “I’m so sorry, but I can’t loan you the cash today.” You don’t have to give a reason. If you say it often enough, they will assume you don’t carry that much money any longer or that you aren’t willing to part with it. Either way, they will leave you alone.

————

Dear Annie: I would appreciate an objective viewpoint regarding my (just) 16-year-old daughter’s request to have her belly button pierced.

”Olivia” is an honor student and all-around wonderful daughter. But I am having trouble being objective about the piercing. I am opposed on several levels. First, it is a waste of money. Second, there is pain and, more importantly, the risk of infection or worse. I also feel she is too young and still growing. She is very slender, but I’ve advised her that her shape is likely to “fill out” in the next several years.

Her twin sister, her mom and I enjoy reading your column every morning at breakfast. Am I being overly concerned?

— Worried Papa

Dear Worried: Your concerns are perfectly valid, but Olivia could present a counterargument to each. The pain is something she is apparently willing to tolerate, the “waste of money” is a matter of opinion, and the risk of infection (or worse) is lessened if the piercing is done by a reputable professional under hygienic circumstances. As for her shape, her navel is not likely to do all that much growing.

The better reason, Dad, is that you object. You are still her father and can say no if this makes you uncomfortable. She always has the option of piercing her navel at a later date. We think you and your wife should have an honest discussion with Olivia about this and see whether you can reach an agreement.

————

Dear Annie: “Thwarted” was right on the money. Women my age are definitely in a “trapped” situation. We did everything the good girls were supposed to do. But men are looking for someone in their 20s who will take care of their every dream. Their trophy wives will inherit the bulk of the assets that women like “Thwarted” enabled their husbands to acquire — everything from education to taking care of them and their mothers.

It sounds lovely and glib to say just go out there and volunteer, get involved in activities and churches, and hopefully meet other women who are in the same place. But what about the men? The majority are looking for a nurse and a purse once their libidos and bodies start to wane.

— 62 Married to a 75-Year-Old with No Reciprocity in Sight

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Shrem Art Museum is a work of art itself

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
     
    Police ID suspect in South Davis hit-and-run crash

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

     
    Thieves swipe Gold Rush-era nuggets

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Blizzard-stricken East digs out amid second-guessing

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    CASA seeks volunteers to advocate for kids

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    UC Davis doctors strike

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Community invited to Fenocchio memorial

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    SHE to lead Center for Spiritual Living in sound healing

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Teens Take Charge program accepting applications

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Take a hike with Tuleyome on Feb. 7

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    The Soup’s On for NAMI-Yolo

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sip wines at St. James’ annual tasting

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Kiwanis Crab, Pasta Feed benefits local charities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Registration open for PSA Day at Davis Media Access

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Brick sales will benefit Hattie Weber Museum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Capay Valley Almond Festival will tempt your taste buds

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    State fails to track billions in mental health funds

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    CSU chancellor calls for increasing graduation rates

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    Covered California enrollment events planned

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    Suds for a bug: Contest is over

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A7

     
    Rebekahs’ crab feed benefits local families

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

    Learn pattern darning tips at guild meeting

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Forum

    Family feels cut off here

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Think again on euthanasia

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Let’s speak with accuracy

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    A stunning contradiction here

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    It’s the final freedom

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Move past the stereotypes

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    Williams-less Gauchos will test Aggie men

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    Devil snowboarders place second in short and slushy GS

    By Margo Roeckl | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Lady Blue Devils take care of business

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Davis club ruggers open with nationally celebrated Jesuit on Friday

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    DHS ski team takes second on a déjà vu day

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: B8 | Gallery

    .

    Features

    Name droppers: Arboretum director wins leadership award

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Lemon tree, very pretty: Our most local fruit?

    By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    .

    Arts

    Granger Smith to play at The Davis Graduate

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Art science speaker series event set for Feb. 5

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Young musicians to perform Winter Concerto Concert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    Red Meat, Deke Dickerson bring rockabilly honky-tonk twang to The Palms

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Death notice: Betty J. Cogburn

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Mary Beth Warzecka

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Wednesday, January 28, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B6