Friday, January 30, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

The first step is the hardest

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I was overweight throughout most of my childhood and became morbidly obese after high school. When I was in college, I had terrible self-esteem and a horrible body image. I never dated.

Three years ago, I had gastric bypass and have since lost more than 200 pounds. I’ve been trying to start dating, but the individuals I have approached are either seeing someone else or are not interested. I tried online dating sites, but the men who responded all live far away, some in other countries, and I’m leery of proceeding. I am not sure about the bar scene and am unaware of any singles groups in my area.

So, I guess I would like some advice on how and where to start relationships.

— Breaking Out of My Shell

Dear Breaking: There are better online dating sites that will match you up with men in your area (or at least in the same country). Try again. You also should ask your friends and relatives to introduce you to available men they know. Local churches and synagogues often have singles groups, and you should be able to attend some functions without having to be a member. Most importantly, project a confident, positive exterior. Smile. Guys like women who are fun to talk to. And while you are searching for a date, participate in activities that interest you. This will have the added benefit of making you more interesting to be around. Good luck.

————

Dear Annie: I have a beautiful granddaughter who is getting married in June. However, I am not invited to the wedding. I’ve been told they are keeping it really small because of the size of the facility. But I found out there will be about 20 guests. I’m invited to the reception, and I’ve already been told what gift my granddaughter wants as a wedding present. It’s quite pricey.

I thought I had a good relationship with my grandkids. But sometimes it seems I’m only needed when they want expensive things. Should I keep quiet about this hurt? I’m not sure I can go to the reception, and that may cause a larger distance between us.

— Upset Grandmother

Dear Upset: Of course, we would hope the bride would want her grandmother to be at the wedding, but let’s not jump to conclusions. A ceremony with 20 guests is exceedingly small and also includes members of the groom’s immediate family, of whom there may be many. If you can possibly attend the reception, it would be lovely. Either way, you are under no obligation to purchase an expensive wedding present simply because your granddaughter asked for one.

————

Dear Annie: It was amazing and heartwarming to read stories of grandparents being reunited with their grandchildren after so many years of estrangement.

What bothers me about these letters, however, is that they are one-sided. Fifteen years ago, I parted ways with my family when I hung up on my father. I didn’t find the humor in his jokes about the lifelong physical and mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother.

Since then, my parents have not contacted me, and I have not contacted them. Meanwhile, I have received letters and cards from family members telling me to change my evil ways and let my parents into my life. I have run into people who lecture me about my rude behavior. I know about the commandment to honor my mother and father, but honestly, I am much happier not having my parents or their abuse in my life. This is not the way I would have chosen to live, and it saddens me that I am made to be the villain in a situation where it takes two to tango.

— Family-Free from Wisconsin

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Suspected Ebola patient being treated at UCD Med Center

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A1

    Town hall focuses on Coordinated Care Initiative

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

     
    Schools give parents tools to help kids thrive

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Need a new best friend?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Stanford University to get $50 million to produce vaccines

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Two more cases of measles in Northern California in children

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Dartmouth bans hard liquor

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A2

     
    Walkers head out three times weekly

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3Comments are off for this post

    Free tax preparation service begins Monday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    No bare bottoms, thanks to CommuniCare’s Diaper Drive

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Storyteller relies on nature as his subject on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Still time to purchase tickets for DHS Cabaret

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    All voices welcome at sing-along Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Great Chefs Program will feature Mulvaney

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    February science fun set at Explorit

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A6 | Gallery

     
    Take a photo tour of Cuba at Flyway Nights talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    See wigeons, curlews and meadowlarks at city wetlands

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Time for bed … with Grandma

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    A ‘new deal’ for the WPA building

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    Protect root zone to save trees

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Weigh quality of life, density

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Olive expert joins St. James event

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    We’re grateful for bingo proceeds

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    .

    Sports

    Gould’s influence felt mightily in recent Super Bowls

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    Mustangs hold off UCD women

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UCD men set new school D-I era win record

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD has another tough football schedule in 2015

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Sports briefs: Watney, Woods start slow at TPC Scottsdale

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

     
    Sharks double up Ducks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Recall that first Aggie TV game, national title?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    ‘Song of the Sea’ is an enchanting fable

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    ‘Artist’s Connection’ launches on DCTV

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    February show at YoloArts’ Gallery 625 is ‘Food for Thought’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

    Gross’ paintings highlight a slice of Northern California

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, January 30, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: A9