Tuesday, September 30, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

The kids won’t do their share

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 30, 2012 |

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 23 years, and we have two teenage daughters. Our biggest issue is disciplining the kids. I think they should do more household chores. My husband agrees in theory, but does nothing to hold them accountable when they don’t cooperate, so the burden of discipline falls on me.

I’m sick of being the bad guy and living in a slovenly house that no one else cares about. I’ve talked to them until I’m blue in the face. I’ve tried letting things go to see whether they’d eventually do something, and that doesn’t work either. Usually, I end up so frustrated that I throw a big hissy fit and clean it myself.

I’m ready to move out. To me, it’s more than the mess. It’s teaching the kids to be independent, to have some work ethic and to be accountable for their actions. To them, I’m being a nag. What should I do?

— Tired in Rural Oregon

Dear Tired: Nagging is part of your job as a parent. And it’s OK to let some things go. The girls’ rooms are theirs. Leave their clothes on the floor and their beds unmade. Tell them those things are their responsibility, and show them how to use the washer and dryer. If you can’t stand the sight of the mess in their rooms, close the doors.

Common areas will be tougher, but they are counting on you to give up. Firmly and repeatedly remind your husband and children to do whatever chores you assign. Do not do these things for them out of exasperation, and try not to become angry. Offer incentives in the form of increased or decreased allowance. Help them understand that you are not a servant. Being a member of the family means doing your share. If your husband won’t help, discuss hiring outside cleaning assistance.

————

Dear Annie: I am a senior in high school and plan to have a family graduation party next spring. However, I haven’t spoken to my maternal grandparents in six months. They have never been a part of my life and have said and done some hurtful things over the years. They often start fights at family get-togethers.

I have no desire to invite them, but my mom says I should because I would otherwise regret it later. Honestly, I’d be happy never to see them again, but I don’t want to hurt my mom by not inviting her parents. Should I?

— East Coast Senior

Dear Senior: Yes — not only because it would please your mother, but also because it will give your grandparents a chance to behave better. One should take advantage of opportunities to reconcile when possible.

————

Dear Annie: “Washington” said her mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 30 years ago. She had been active in her church and had lots of friends, but at age 49, she was in a nursing home. Now the only person who visits is her daughter.

I was diagnosed with MS in 1961 at age 19. In 1962, I became wheelchair bound. I’m fortunate to have a loving, caring husband of 52 years who does the things I cannot do for myself. This disease turns your life upside down. It makes the MS patient feel like a burden to society. But disabled people want to be loved, too.

I have a chin-controlled power chair to move around in. I can use the computer with a voice-activated system, and I listen to books on tape. I stay as active as my limitations will allow. But with everything I do, someone has to assist me. I am blessed to have my husband.

For people who say they’re bored: How about volunteering for the disabled?

— Faithful Follower in Florida

Dear Florida: A wonderful suggestion. Approximately 400,000 Americans are diagnosed with MS. For those who want more information, please contact the National MS Society at nationalmssociety.org.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Man on a mission: transform Davis

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Poppenga outlines ambitious agenda

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Cool Davis Festival is très chill

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Sanity phase begins in Daniel Marsh trial

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

Council looks at granny-flat revision

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
Find the perfect club or organization to join

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C2 | Gallery

California becomes first state to ban plastic bags

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Standing In: Is the therapy for them, or me?

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A2

California exhausts initial firefighting budget

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Brown allows new local development financing tools

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Forum examines Props. 1 and 2 on November ballot

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Register to vote by Oct. 20

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Assembly candidates will be at Woodland forum

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Pets of the week

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

California approves landmark ‘yes means yes’ law

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Try out basic yoga on Thursday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

DCC welcomes students with free lunch

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Gibson House hosts plant sale and garden event

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

UCD, University College Dublin will cooperate on food, health

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Accessibility technology on exhibit at fair

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Covell Gardens breakfast benefits Komen Foundation

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Put your hoes down and celebrate the harvest

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Panelists discuss raising children with special needs

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
DCC hosts fair-trade gift sale on Oct. 11

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Number of wheels: How many bicycles do you have in your household?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C5 | Gallery

 
Emerson gives away old textbooks

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Downtown history tour planned in October

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Fraud Awareness Fair set Oct. 15 in West Sac

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Woodland PD seeks volunteers for ViP program

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

DMTC makes musical theater accessible to everyone

By Bev Sykes | From Page: C9 | Gallery

 
Take home a wreath from Davis Flower Arrangers’ meeting

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

Snapshot: A night out with the neighbors

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C10

 
Davis school names reflect interesting history

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: C12

Snapshot: Plenty of places to park it

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C14

 
Snapshot: Dive into Davis fun

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C15

Snapshot: Kick garbage to the curb

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C16

 
Snapshot: Sounds like a party

By Enterprise staff | From Page: C17

.

Forum

It takes two to lambada

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
He seems happy at home

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

Marsh case shows need for ‘Maupin’s Law’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
The great bedtime conspiracy

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

They’re best-prepared to lead

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Vibrant and hard-working

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Archer has the right stuff

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

Get on your bikes to meet Davis’ greenhouse gas goals

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

‘Playoff game’ or missed chance? Either way the Aggies move on

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devils move atop league standings with win

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Only 15 months out of UCD, Runas off to LPGA Tour

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Davis golfers get teaching moments in forfeit win

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Two Junior Blue Devil squads emerge victorious

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

 
.

Features

.

Arts

I-House film series continues with ‘Monsieur Lazhar’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
‘Art Farm’ exhibition will open in Woodland

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Pleasant Valley Boys cool down Picnic in the Park

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Acclaimed guitarist Peppino D’Agostino to play The Palms

By Landon Christensen | From Page: A9

 
Woodland artist hosts event at her new studio

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Danelle Evelyn Watson

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Michael Allen Hanks Baxter

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Anne Elizabeth Elbrecht

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 (set 1)

By Creator | From Page: B5

 
Comics: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 (set 2)

By Creator | From Page: B7