Thursday, September 18, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

The wrong kind of birthday surprise

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 19, 2012 |

Dear Annie: Back in May, our son and his wife invited us to a concert at the end of December to celebrate my husband’s milestone birthday. They said it would be their treat, and we all agreed it would be a fun evening.

Over the next few months, we got together often, and no mention was made of the concert. Yesterday, I sent a text saying we were excited about the concert and asked what time we should leave. Our son responded with a text saying they weren’t going and that we should have checked with them sooner.

Regardless of the reason — whether illness, money, work schedule or whatever — shouldn’t the people who extended the invitation let the guests know there is a change of plans? We are so disappointed and

— Confused About Cancellation

Dear Confused: Your son and his wife should not have issued the invitation unless they meant it and certainly should have notified you well in advance if the plans had changed. However, it’s also possible they simply forgot about it until it was too late to get the tickets, in which case, mentioning how excited you were about the upcoming concert in, say, August might have averted this family drama.

One should be diplomatic but not so reticent to speak that these things become an issue. Good communication, especially between parents and children, can resolve or prevent a great many problems.

————

Dear Annie: I read your column every day and love it, so I’d like your opinion on something.

My little brother and his wife are expecting their first child in April. They have decided to have a “reveal party” to let everyone know the sex of the baby. This means the doctor will write down the gender of the baby and put it in a sealed envelope. Then someone takes the envelope to a party supply store where they pack a box with balloons filled with the appropriate color — pink or blue. At the party, the expectant parents open the box, and the balloons fly out letting everyone know the sex of the baby.

To me, this seems like something the expectant parents would like to share with each other, without an audience. I am a gay male and probably will never have children, so this really doesn’t impact my life. But I am curious about what you think.

— Greensboro, N.C.

Dear Greensboro: While some parents prefer to get this news privately, in today’s Facebook age, many want to share it with friends and family as soon as possible. So a party makes sense to them. Yes, some people will interpret this as one more act of narcissism, but most expectant parents are so thrilled to share this news that we think the motives are actually sweet.

Of course, if the parents have a gender preference, it’s best to get the news in private, since guests don’t want to see one of the hosts burst into tears of disappointment. Otherwise, we think these events are a matter of personal choice. Go and enjoy yourself.

————

Dear Annie: I can relate to “Fran in Frisco,” who moved halfway across the country to live near her husband’s family. They had promised to do things with the grandchildren and spend lots of time with them. But when Fran and her husband finally moved there, the grandparents ignored them.

I had the same experience with my in-laws after moving 1,200 miles from my family. Fran, do yourself a favor and move back to your hometown while there’s still time for your parents to enjoy their grandchildren. We never got that chance, and now it’s too late.

— Still Homesick

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Jurors see Marsh questioned by police

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

     
    Grace Garden: Five years of feeding the needy

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

     
    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Bike sale on Friday will benefit King High

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A2

     
    Wildfire shows explosive growth

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Per Capita Davis: What to think

    By John Mott-Smith | From Page: A3

    International Festival moves to park for fourth year

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Essay contest underway

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Sudwerk Wet Hop Lager plants seeds for area hops rebirth

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Speakers plumb issues around the Constitution

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Governor signs bill to support state’s ailing bee population

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Backyard poultry symposium Sunday at UCD

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A5

    Forum will answer questions about new license law

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Australian pop band Dick Diver plays Third Space

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    RepowerYolo hosts solar seminar

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Local Girl Scouts are looking for a few good leaders

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A5

    Reneau, Silberstein will read their poetry Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Parents host campaign coffees for Archer

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Nominate deserving volunteers for top citizen honors

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    PG&E, Dixon company unveil truck that can restore power

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

    $12M earmarked for UCD life sciences center in Chile

    By Karen Nikos-Rose | From Page: A7

     
    .

    Forum

    She’s had it with his neglect

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Off-leash dogs are a danger

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Davis makes the NY Times

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Affordable housing affects health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Choose to wipe out hunger

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    DHS girls pound Mustangs in the pool

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Davis captures final nonleague volleyball outing

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    DHS golfers blow past St. Francis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils blow out Marauders at Brown Stadium

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Youth softball: Hurricanes win one of two slugfests with Woodland

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Youth roundup: These Diamonds are forever in the record books

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Baseball roundup: Duffy comes up big for Giants in Arizona

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

     
    Young Devil harriers carry the day

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

    Davis falls to Vintage in a JV shootout

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B3

     
    DHS girls tennis team stunned at Franklin

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    What’s happening, Sept. 18

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

     
    Students get into the act with Shakespeare

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8 | Gallery

    Street-smart tips for safe cycling

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A8

     
    Eagle Scout project makes life easier for Yolo Basin volunteers

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    .

    Arts

     
    Wineaux: Back and forth in the high and low debate

    By Susan Leonardi | From Page: A9

    Catie Curtis brings folk-rock ‘Flying Dream’ to The Palms on Friday Sept. 19

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Jean Botelli

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Thursday, September 18, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B6