Tuesday, September 23, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

They’ve chosen sides

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | April 02, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My husband and I were great friends with my sister and her husband. When we separated, my ex continued to hang out with them because they liked to drink and do drugs together. After the divorce, they stopped seeing him.

I just found out that they rekindled the friendship when my sister met his new wife at a party for one of my grandchildren. That was a year ago. I feel betrayed, hurt, angry and very disappointed. When I spoke to my sister, she said, “You’ve been divorced for a long time, and your ex has been friends with my husband for years.” This is not true. Once the divorce was final, they had no contact until last year.

Am I wrong? Is it all right for them to be friends again knowing how I feel?

— Kicked Again

Dear Kicked: We understand that you want your sister to be supportive, but if she and her husband have a relationship with your ex and his wife (likely due to the drugs and alcohol), it really is no longer your business. We know this isn’t what you want to hear, but trying to control someone else’s friendships tends to backfire.

Instead of convincing your sister to stop socializing with your ex, your protests likely will create an estrangement between you and your sister. You can ask her not to invite him to family functions where you will be present. However, since you have children (and grandchildren) with your ex, it is unrealistic to think you will never bump into them. It is in your best interests to learn how to tolerate their presence when necessary.

————

Dear Annie: While I do not consider myself a gourmet chef, I do take a lot of pride in my cooking. I go to a lot of trouble to get the seasoning just right. The problem is, my husband takes one look or maybe a taste and then immediately drenches his food in hot sauce. It really hurts my feelings. Am I being oversensitive?

— Proud Woman

Dear Proud: We assume other people enjoy your cooking, so please don’t take this so personally. It’s not as if your husband says you need a pinch more salt or a sprinkling of oregano. Drenching food in hot sauce says that your husband likes the taste of hot sauce and likely cannot taste much of anything else. If he doesn’t put hot sauce on it, it has no flavor at all. His taste buds may not be salvageable, although you could ask him to please taste the food before altering it. But we suggest you save your more elaborate efforts for those who can appreciate them.

————

Dear Annie: Now that I am retired, I finally have time to read the paper every day. I enjoy your column and agree completely with your advice to “Aunt,” who asked about registries for graduation gifts.

However, in your response you said that “it is wrong to send out notices inferring that the recipient is obligated.” I would like to respectfully correct your choice of words: “Infer” means to interpret or to deduce from what the sender “implies.” The word you should have used is “implying.”

— Another Reader

Dear Reader: You are absolutely right, and you weren’t the only one to point it out. We knew better, and it still slid right by us. (Some days, we are more overwhelmed than others.) Six lashes with a wet noodle for us.

————

Dear Readers: We are carrying on Ann Landers’ tradition that April 2 be set aside as Reconciliation Day, a time to make the first move toward mending broken relationships. It also is the day on which we would agree to accept the olive branch extended by a former friend or an estranged family member and do our best to start over.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

.

News

UC joins U.N.-supported Principles for Responsible Investment

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

 
Nature’s beauty is in our own back yard

By Charlotte Orr | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Jury finds Dixon man guilty of mortgage fraud

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

 
 
U.S., Arab allies hit Islamists in Syria, Iraq

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

Bob Dunning: These are the tanks we get

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Wind threatens firefighting effort

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Harmony Award nominations sought

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Sheriff’s Office honored for safe-driving initiative

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Baha’is celebrate 50th anniversary in Davis

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Downtown gift cards get a new perk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Unscheduled landing

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Free community yard sale Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Street Food Rodeo rolls into West Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Wolk kicks off ‘Morning with the Mayor’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

So you want to be an entomologist?

By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A4

 
Pets of the week

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Forum will answer questions about new license law

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Applications open for Biberstein grants

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
.

Forum

Daughter has her own opinions

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Brother’s drinking out of control

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

We must not stand for perpetual war

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
Don’t cut all the trees

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

A great Day in the Country

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Donors support school matinees

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

A big Explorit thanks!

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Teacher tenure becomes key campaign issue

By Tom Elias | From Page: A6

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

Devil golfers soar past Sheldon

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Blue Devils bounce back against Pleasant Grove

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Running game powered Devils in first football win

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Davis field hockey team rights ship at Lassen

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

UCD roundup: Aggie women reach finals of East/West golf tourney

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2Comments are off for this post | Gallery

 
U11s get a win in an eventful weekend of youth football

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Giants beat L.A. in 13 innings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
A’s support Samardzija in a win over Angels

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

.

Features

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Carol L. Walsh

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 (set 1)

By Creator | From Page: B5

 
Comics: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 (set 2)

By Creator | From Page: B7