Friday, January 30, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

This isn’t the man she married

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | April 10, 2013 |

Dear Annie: I have been married to “Dennis” for eight years. Early on, Dennis couldn’t do enough for me. Now, if my car won’t start, he yells at me and says to call a tow truck. If I ask him to spend time with me, he always has other things to do. On the rare occasion when we attend a social event together, he abandons me so he can “work the room” and have a great time with everyone else. We arrive together and leave together, and the rest of the time, I sit alone, miserable and forgotten.

Dennis will go above and beyond for others. It doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night, raining, snowing, spending money we don’t have, missing meals, birthdays, holidays and our daughter’s school programs. If it’s a chance to make himself look good, he’s there with a smile and compassion. I get the repairman to take care of me with a handshake and a bill. But when I ask Dennis to treat his family with the same enthusiasm, he calls me a selfish nag.

Yes, I resent all the people he helps, because they get the side of my husband that belongs to me. I’m told to take care of myself because he’s too busy helping others and inflating his ego. I get whatever is leftover. I love Dennis, but I’m starting to feel that he only gave me his adoration and helpfulness because he was trying to win my heart. How do I deal with this?

— Wife of the Plumber with Leaky Pipes at Home

Dear Wife: Some people put on a good show for others, but at home, they let down the facade. We recommend counseling, preferably with Dennis, but without him if necessary. We also suggest you stop relying on your husband to provide your social life. Instead of sitting “miserable and forgotten,” develop your conversational skills. Get involved in some local activities that interest you so you are less dependent on Dennis’s availability. You need to take better care of yourself.

————

Dear Annie: I am a retired schoolteacher and would like to request that you stop recommending that high school students see their guidance counselors for any problems other than recommended course requirements for graduation.

While it may be widely thought that they are there for guidance on many personal issues, most of them, in my experience, are the last person I would recommend a student speak to about family or emotional issues. This may sound harsh, but they are not compassionate and caring individuals. Perhaps they are in elementary and middle schools, but not in high schools. Their time is taken up with increasing state requirements for graduation and dealing with failing students who need course recovery classes. Their general attitude is that they have no time for anything else.

— Retired Teacher

Dear Teacher: We know that high school guidance counselors are primarily there to help students navigate their future academic lives. But we are certain most would take issue with your comment that they are not compassionate and caring. Perhaps that was the case in your school, but there are many students whose lives have been changed by kind and concerned guidance counselors who understand that a student’s personal life can interfere with his or her academic success.

————

Dear Annie: Please tell “Still Healing” that it is imperative she inform her stepbrother’s wife about the painful sexual abuse she suffered at his hands.

My granddaughters have been through hell because their father sexually abused them. It might have been averted if his half-sister had reported the earlier sexual abuse and rape. When she learned what he had done to his daughters, she finally came forward, but it was too late. Thankfully, he is in prison now, and the girls are getting counseling, but they will suffer for many years.

— Sad Grandmother

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Town hall focuses on Coordinated Care Initiative

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

     
    Schools give parents tools to help kids thrive

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Suspected Ebola patient being treated at UCD Med Center

    By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A1

    Need a new best friend?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Stanford University to get $50 million to produce vaccines

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Two more cases of measles in Northern California in children

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Dartmouth bans hard liquor

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A2

     
    Walkers head out three times weekly

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3Comments are off for this post

    Free tax preparation service begins Monday

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    No bare bottoms, thanks to CommuniCare’s Diaper Drive

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Storyteller relies on nature as his subject on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Still time to purchase tickets for DHS Cabaret

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    All voices welcome at sing-along Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Great Chefs Program will feature Mulvaney

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

     
    February science fun set at Explorit

    By Lisa Justice | From Page: A6 | Gallery

     
    Take a photo tour of Cuba at Flyway Nights talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    See wigeons, curlews and meadowlarks at city wetlands

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Time for bed … with Grandma

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

     
    A ‘new deal’ for the WPA building

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Protect root zone to save trees

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Weigh quality of life, density

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Olive expert joins St. James event

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    We’re grateful for bingo proceeds

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    .

    Sports

    UCD has another tough football schedule in 2015

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Gould’s influence felt mightily in recent Super Bowls

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

    Mustangs hold off UCD women

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    UCD men set new school D-I era win record

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Sharks double up Ducks

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Sports briefs: Watney, Woods start slow at TPC Scottsdale

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    Recall that first Aggie TV game, national title?

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    ‘Artist’s Connection’ launches on DCTV

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    ‘Song of the Sea’ is an enchanting fable

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    Gross’ paintings highlight a slice of Northern California

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12 | Gallery

    February show at YoloArts’ Gallery 625 is ‘Food for Thought’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, January 30, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: A9