Tuesday, August 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Time to cut bait with this one?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 15, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’m a divorced woman who was married to a self-centered man for 30 years. He often told me that if I thought there was something better out there to not let the door hit me on the way out. I finally took him up on it, and it turned out to be the best advice he ever gave me.

For the past three years, I’ve been dating “Ted,” also divorced. He is smart and successful, and we are perfect together in every way. Here is the problem: Ted is not ready to marry. He told me his marriage ended because there was no passion. He fears if we live together, the physical attraction we feel for each other will die.

Ted and I spend weekends together and travel often, but then he goes home to his house. I don’t want to live alone for the rest of my life. But if Ted isn’t ready after three years, I doubt he ever will be. His reluctance hurts me deeply and brings back all those feelings of unworthiness from my marriage. Is it time for me to walk?

— Thought I’d Found the One

Dear Thought: Ted may be skittish about commitment, but that is his issue, and he is making it yours. Some women are perfectly content with a no-strings relationship with someone they find compatible. But if you are looking for marriage, you will have to set Ted free and look elsewhere. We realize you have put a lot of effort, energy and emotion into this relationship, but if the end result makes you unhappy and anxious, Ted is not the right person for you.

————

Dear Annie: I must reply to all the mothers-in-law who write to you and can’t understand why they are treated so unfairly by their daughters-in-law. My mother-in-law has been incredibly mean to me from the first time I met her. She deliberately does not include me in many of the family functions. She promises my children outings and never follows through. She and her daughter have been the nightmares of my life.

This has gone on for years now, and I would rather not have any contact with them. My husband feels I should “be the better person” and just ignore their behavior. But, Annie, I can only do this for so long before the better course is to simply walk away.

— The Other Side of the Story

Dear Other Side: Has your husband stood up for you with his family? Does he say, “My wife must be invited to these family functions, or I will not attend”? Does he tell his mother that the children no longer believe her promises and it hurts her relationship with them? If he thinks sweeping Mom’s behavior under the rug will make things better, he is mistaken. It is cowardly. Mom will learn to respect you as a member of her family if her son makes it clear to her that this is not optional and there are clear consequences. We cannot guarantee that she will change her tune, but we can absolutely assure you that if your husband does not do these things, nothing will ever improve and you are right to limit contact.

————

Dear Annie: “Tired of Doing All the Holiday Planning” said she is going to stop hosting family holiday dinners because no one helps her clean up.

In our home and those of our friends, the cook does not clean up. Everyone else does. “Tired” should tell her kids and grandkids to clear, wash, dry and put the dishes away. If Dad is in the picture, he should pitch in, too.

Some of my fondest times involve the camaraderie when my buddies and I clean up after one of our wives’ meals. (We are lousy cooks.) Guys need to get with the program and show their wives they appreciate the effort of putting the meal together.

— Helpful Husband

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

Raise-the-wage campaign eyes fall 2015 ballot

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

 
Curbside recycling celebrates 40 years

By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Pets of the week

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Israel launches airstrikes after Gaza rocket fire

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Ring, ring: London statues want to talk to you

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Police call school supply drive a huge success

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Davis UMC to host affordable immigration law clinic

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Davis Senior Center to host volunteer luncheon

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Fire destroys Woodland garage

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

Downtown scuffle ends in two arrests

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

 
Man struck, killed on Davis freeway

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

DPNS has openings for fall

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Shop the market at Sutter on Thursday

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Paws for Thought: Adopting older pets is truly the gift of life

By Evelyn Dale | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
.

Forum

The best years of our lives

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A4

Is government corruption rampant?

By Tom Elias | From Page: A4

 
Another disease: ‘Israelitis’

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

An appeal for warm street lights

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

 
It’s her way or nothing

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

He’s seeing … something

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
.

Sports

Bicycling Hall of Fame announces 4 new members

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Republic FC makes strides on and off the field

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
New practice facility named for benevolent Watsons

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

Sports briefs: Wright tallies two more times as U.S. takes sixth

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
River Cats fall but look to playoffs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

.

Features

.

Arts

Davis Children’s Chorale seeking new members

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A7

 
Concert benefits 1,000 Red Roses Fund

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Anderson-Gram Duo to play at Picnic in the Park

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
Theater and dance classes offered at Woodland Opera House

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Arielle Deem Band visits Our House on Wednesday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
Earthquake Street Festival to rock downtown Winters

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Yolo Mambo to play free show

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Marty Cohen and the Sidekicks to give house show

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Tuesday, August 19, 2014 (set 1)

By Creator | From Page: B5

 
Comics: Tuesday, August 19, 2014 (set 2)

By Creator | From Page: B7