Sunday, April 20, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Time to make a decision?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I am in my late 70s and have been with a wonderful man for some time now. “Joe” and I both lost our spouses several years ago. We each own our own homes and are debt-free, although I have to watch my finances more closely.

Joe has asked me to sell my house and move in with him, but I have mixed emotions regarding our relationship. Although he has a very nice home, I am quite comfortable in my own place. To simply move in together without being married makes me wonder about his level of commitment to me.

Joe is a kind and caring person. He has told me I can stay in his home for a lifetime should something happen to him. What if I moved in with him and then our relationship changed for the worse? I would no longer have a home, and at my age, it would be very difficult to begin all over. Should I just end the relationship now and be alone? I truly love this man, but I am at a crossroads.

— Torn in Toledo

Dear Torn: When someone asks you to move in with him, and you aren’t ready to do so, the answer is a simple “no.” You don’t have to end the relationship over it. If you need a commitment to marry before moving in, say so. Joe cannot read your mind. If he doesn’t wish to marry you, feel free to continue to date him, but keep your own home. You’ll feel more secure.

————

Dear Annie: My stepdaughter has announced that she will be getting married next year. She would like a destination wedding in Tahiti.

Her father and I do not have a lot of money. We told her we could give her a certain amount toward the wedding, but we could not afford for both of us to attend. Her response was, “You’ll figure it out.”

My husband is two years away from retirement, and we refuse to take out a loan. I’m afraid this is going to cause tension in the family. Please help.

— Not Going

Dear Not: Your stepdaughter seems rather self-absorbed. Let her know that you have “figured it out” by deducting the cost of your airfare and hotel from the amount you have offered to give her toward the wedding. When she objects (and she will), be excessively sweet and say in that case, her father will attend without you, and wish her well. People who plan exotic destination weddings place a huge burden on their friends and family and cannot demand that everyone show up.

————

Dear Annie: Please tell “Holding My Breath” that the kindest thing she can do is tell this woman with “killer breath” to see a periodontist to rule out gum disease. If inadequately treated, it can lead to bone loss and the loss of her teeth.

While in medical school, I learned very little about gum disease that results from inadequately treated gingivitis. Two of the major symptoms of this disease are bleeding gums and bad breath. Many years ago, I failed to tell my wife that she had bad breath, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I have regretted my ignorance ever since. For the past 40 years, she has endured complicated, uncomfortable and expensive procedures, which now include dental implants. Expenses have exceeded $100,000.

We have discovered that regular six-month checkups with our dentist and dental hygienist are absolutely necessary. We also make sure to brush our teeth twice daily for at least two minutes at a time, along with daily flossing and rinsing with antibacterial mouthwash. Since we have started this regimen, neither of us has bad breath or bleeding gums. Her dentist can recommend the appropriate care products.

— An MD Who Learned the Hard Way

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    A springtime ritual

    By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Tom Adams seeks Davis school board seat

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1

     
    Hub of activity: DHS newspaper keeps evolving

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Holy fire ceremony draws thousands in Jerusalem

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Tour renovated YCCC facility Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Tour Davis Waldorf School on Wednesday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    The fifth annual Tour de Cluck is soon to be hatched

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Ortiz lawn signs available

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Sign up soon for spring cooking classes

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Robb Davis team to rally on Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Steadfast in their support

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4, 7 Comments | Gallery

     
    Yolo Hospice offers free grief workshops

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Sign up for Camp Kesem caterpillar crawl

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Quilters gear up for annual show

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A4

    KDVS launches fund drive on Monday

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

     
    Calling all Scrabble fans

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

    League hosts a series of candidate forums

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Hub webpage is seeing traffic increasing

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A8

    Preschool open house set at Davis Waldorf

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

     
    Birch Lane celebrates its 50th anniversary

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

    Hotel/conference center info meeting set

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16

     
    Lescroart welcomes all to book-launch party

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A16 | Gallery

    DEVO set to serve up 14th annual Winkler Dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A16 | Gallery

     
    Learn Chinese crafts at I-House

    By Sebastian Onate | From Page: A16

    .

    Forum

    Take ownership of your health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Not thrilled with lack of symmetry

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    Reliving the agony and ecstasy of spring

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

     
    Keep your baby safe

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    Core values on campus

    By Our View | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

    Road diet? No, city diet!

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 5 Comments

     
    We’re reveling in our equality

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 1 Comment

    Vote no; it’s fiscally responsible

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A12, 2 Comments

     
    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A12

     
    Bill is an affront to UC Davis ag biotech and local farmers

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

    Don’t want to sit in Fix 50 traffic? Consider alternatives

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13, 1 Comment

     
    .

    Sports

    Devils burn up the track

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    UCD softball shut out by Santa Barbara

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggie men shoot 9-under, lead own tourney

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Stars shine in Woody Wilson Classic

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1, 1 Comment | Gallery

     
    UCD roundup: Aggie baseball swept away by Highlanders

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    A’s score 3 in ninth, rally past Astros 4-3

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Yolo Federal Credit Union gets WISH funds

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    PG&E pays taxes, fees to county, cities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9, 1 Comment

    Will Davis get an Old Soul?

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A9

     
    Pediatricians, nurse practitioner hired at Woodland Healthcare

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    Asian stocks mostly higher after mixed U.S. earnings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Roots will showcase its graduating startups

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14

    University Honda wins another President’s Award

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

     
    Dutch Bros. raises $19,000 for girl with leukemia

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A14 | Gallery

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, April 20, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8