Tuesday, September 23, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Travel buddy is getting too fat

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | August 29, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My second cousin “Susan” and I are in our 60s and have been friends since childhood. I was widowed six years ago. Susan never married.

Four years ago, Susan and I started traveling together. It’s much cheaper to travel as part of a couple than solo, and we get along well. Now, however, there are a couple of problems. Susan has put on so much weight that she encroaches on my airplane seat and tour bus bench. Airplane seats are not that comfortable to begin with, and Susan takes up a good third of mine. This makes long flights very uncomfortable. I think Susan should pay for a first-class seat or two coach seats.

The other problem is that Susan has taken in several stray dogs and cats, and her clothes reek of cat urine. I no longer want to share a hotel closet when we travel, because my clothes begin to smell like hers.

Susan is already talking about another trip, and I don’t know how to respond. I enjoy traveling, but I cannot deal with these things anymore. Any suggestions?

— Struggling Cousin

Dear Cousin: You have to tell Susan about the cat odor. She is undoubtedly so accustomed to it that she can no longer smell it. Say, “Susan, I’m sure you probably don’t notice it, but your clothes are starting to smell like your cats. Perhaps it would help to change the type of litter you use or put your clothes in a different closet.”

The weight issue, however, is more sensitive. If you are willing to address it directly, gently let Susan know that her size makes travel uncomfortable for you. Consider buying your own first-class, business class or premium economy ticket, and Susan can follow suit or sit elsewhere. Or perhaps you each could share the cost of a third seat so you have extra room. You also could suggest sitting separately on tour buses so that you can meet new friends along the way.

————

Dear Annie: My dad is in his mid-90s. There is a woman in her early 60s who has worked for him and been a companion of his for about six months. Dad would like to ask this lady to move in with him. This isn’t particularly romantic in nature. The only thing Dad knows about the woman is that she seems to be nice and likes him. She would continue to be his employee and, in addition, would care for him in his own home.

Dad wants us all to get together and discuss this matter. We are concerned about his financial situation and his health. What should we do?

— Concerned

Dear Concerned: Is Dad mentally competent? Have you met this woman? There are lawyers who specialize in elder law and can draw up papers to protect Dad’s assets, regardless of the circumstances. But if the woman is essentially a live-in paid companion and caregiver, it is simply a matter of checking on Dad regularly to see that he is properly cared for.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “At a Loss for Words,” whose mother shows little interest in her daughter’s children. She says her mom “is extremely self-centered.” She wants her mother in her life, but the hurt is getting to be too much.

I agree with most of your advice, but I think she should continue to invite the mother, regardless of whether she attends or not. Narcissistic people crave attention, even negative attention. Not inviting Mom allows her to think of herself as a victim of an ungrateful daughter.

An invitation hurts no one, especially if the grandchildren are taught that Grandma probably won’t attend, and it prevents giving Grandma a way to show her disapproval, cause hurt and be the center of attention.

— N in N.C.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    UC joins U.N.-supported Principles for Responsible Investment

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

     
    Nature’s beauty is in our own back yard

    By Charlotte Orr | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Jury finds Dixon man guilty of mortgage fraud

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

     
     
    U.S., Arab allies hit Islamists in Syria, Iraq

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

    Bob Dunning: These are the tanks we get

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    Wind threatens firefighting effort

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Harmony Award nominations sought

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Unscheduled landing

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Free community yard sale Saturday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Street Food Rodeo rolls into West Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Wolk kicks off ‘Morning with the Mayor’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    So you want to be an entomologist?

    By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A4

    Sheriff’s Office honored for safe-driving initiative

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Baha’is celebrate 50th anniversary in Davis

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Downtown gift cards get a new perk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Forum will answer questions about new license law

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Applications open for Biberstein grants

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    .

    Forum

    Brother’s drinking out of control

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Daughter has her own opinions

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    We must not stand for perpetual war

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Don’t cut all the trees

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    A great Day in the Country

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Donors support school matinees

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    A big Explorit thanks!

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Teacher tenure becomes key campaign issue

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A6

    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    Running game powered Devils in first football win

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Davis field hockey team rights ship at Lassen

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Devil golfers soar past Sheldon

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Blue Devils bounce back against Pleasant Grove

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    UCD roundup: Aggie women reach finals of East/West golf tourney

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2Comments are off for this post | Gallery

     
    U11s get a win in an eventful weekend of youth football

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    Giants beat L.A. in 13 innings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    A’s support Samardzija in a win over Angels

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Carol L. Walsh

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7