Friday, April 18, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

What about her self-image?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: My 4-year-old granddaughter, “Jill,” visited recently and declared, “My mommy told me to watch what I eat because she doesn’t want me get heavy.” Jill is certainly not heavy, and I was appalled that she was being told such a thing. I assured her that she is perfect.

My son is divorced from Jill’s mother. He informed me that his ex does indeed send this type of message to her little girl. My son is a great father. He tries to avoid confrontations with his ex and her parents, as they can be manipulative and self-centered.

I will never speak disparagingly to my granddaughter about her mother, but I am concerned about the consequences such messages deliver on a little girl’s self-image. Obviously, her mother and grandparents are a huge influence. Should I stay silent and let my son deal with his ex?

— Concerned Nana

Dear Nana: You should not say anything to the ex, but encourage your son to do so. A 4-year-old girl should be eating roughly 1,200 calories a day with an emphasis on healthy foods that provide her with the proper nutrients. It’s OK to teach Jill which foods are helpful for her body and which are not. But Mom should not give the message that Jill isn’t good enough unless she is skinny, nor should Mom be restricting her daughter’s calories in an effort to make her thin.

Please tell your son to discuss this with Jill’s pediatrician. He needs to be her advocate. But you also are an influence in Jill’s life. When she visits you, make her feel loved no matter how she looks or what she eats.

————

Dear Annie: My mother wants to use the Internet to look up definitions to crossword clues she is unfamiliar with. I feel this is cheating. Is it?

I believe if you don’t know or can’t answer the word in one direction, the intersecting clues are there to help you create the answer. While looking up a definition might be helpful once you’ve solved the entire crossword, doing it in advance seems like an unfair advantage.

We are currently bickering over this, so your thoughts would be appreciated.

— Crossword Junkie

Dear Crossword: Part of the challenge of crossword puzzles is not to know all of the answers in advance. Where’s the fun in that? And some clues are deliberately set up to be interpreted in more than one way, so a definition isn’t necessarily useful. It might be considered cheating if Mom were in a competition (dictionaries also provide synonyms), but since she is not, it only deprives her of the satisfaction of figuring out the clues on her own. Please don’t make that your problem.

————

Dear Annie: Like “Your Husband,” I was one of those men with a significant sex drive. But after three children, my wife shut me down completely. I slept on the couch for four years until a family counselor said we should divorce because we were lousy role models for our children.

My ex-wife has remarried, but is as unhappy as ever. I am still single, but have not regretted the divorce for a single day. Physical touch is too important to turn off and not expect consequences. For a lot of men, sex is the glue that makes a relationship work. Telling a man that sex is over is as devastating to him as telling a woman she can never again talk to her girlfriends. Women would label that “abuse.” Well, many men consider the loss of sex to be just as horrendous.

As I told my daughter when she was older, “If you decide to give up sex, do not expect your husband to agree with you. There will be consequences.”

— Your Next Husband

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Chuck Rairdan joins school board race

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1, 3 Comments

    Going green at church, school, everywhere

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Former caretaker convicted of murder, elder abuse

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1, 4 Comments | Gallery

    Old friend helps Brad and others find kidneys

    By Dave Jones | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Ukraine insurgents reject call to quit buildings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 6 Comments

     
    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    UCD to host Global Health Day event

    By Cory Golden | From Page: A2

     
    ‘Hitchhiking’ dog looking for new home

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Need a new best friend?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Online K-12 school holds info night

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Volkssporting Club plans North Davis walks

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Schwenger lawn signs available

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

    Volunteers needed for Grad Night

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Davis grad makes rain collection a business

    By Jason McAlister | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    A few spots left on history tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Chipotle fundraiser boosts Emerson tech upgrade

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Event to provide nature scholarship

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Students have new options on leasing front

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Groups join for a day of service

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    NAMI backers walk in Sacramento

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Food for the hungry

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

    .

    Forum

    Dad makes mom look bad

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    Early help is a great investment

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    More tax money? Answer the question

    By Rich Rifkin | From Page: A6, 4 Comments

     
    UCD IS responsible for students

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 4 Comments

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    In search of great ideas

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

     
    Please keep the nursery open

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

    .

    Sports

    Sharks double up Kings in Game 1

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Aggies lose a slugfest in opener at Riverside

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Fox coming to UCD; Riffle heads to Florida

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    DHS’ Golston goes full-bore on the diamond

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Devils show more life in loss to Mitty

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    DYSA roundup: Intensity has big week; 10U games dominate schedule

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Sports briefs: Aggies set the academic bar high

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    Pro baseball roundup: Susac sends Sacramento to a rare loss

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    ‘Transcendence’: A whole new level of tedium

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    ‘The Bloom’ paves way for Whole Earth Festival

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    DHS tribute to Tony Fields slated for April 25-26

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    UCD, city team up for Music on the Green

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    .

    Business

    Ford turns its Focus to domestic market

    By Ali Arsham | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, April 18, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Real Estate Review

    Featured Listing

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER1

    Professional Services Directory

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER2

    Lyon Real Estate

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER3

    Yolo FCU

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER4

    Acacia at Huntington Square

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER4

    Jamie Madison

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER4

    Travis Credit Union

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER5

    Kim Eichorn

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER6

    Suzanne Kimmel

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER6

    Lynne Wegner

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER7

    Kim Merrel Lamb

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER7

    Patricia Echevarria

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER8

    Chris Snow

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER8

    Andrew Dowling

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER9

    Sheryl Patterson

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER9

    Don Guthrie

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER9

    Coldwell Banker

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER10

    Coldwell Banker

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER11

    Julie Partain & Dick Partain

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER12

    Heather Barnes

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER12

    Malek Baroody

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER13

    Willowbank Park

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER14

    Karen Waggoner

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER14

    Team Traverso

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER15

    Julie Leonard

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER15

    Tim Harrison

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER15

    Tracy Harris

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER16

    Lori Prizmich

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER16

    Raul Zamora

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER17

    Joe Kaplan

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER17

    Coldwell Banker

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER18

    Open House Map

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER19

    F1rst Street Real Estate

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER20