Wednesday, April 23, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

What is the truth worth?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: More than 30 years ago, my brother “Zach” was married for several years to “Ruth,” who had an affair with an older man and left him to marry the new guy. She became pregnant during their last year of marriage, but when she left, she told Zach that she’d had a miscarriage. After a very bitter divorce, there was no communication between them, and the rest of us followed suit.

Zach died in an accident 23 years ago, leaving a young widow and a 6-month-old son. I recently ran into an old acquaintance who lives in the same city as Ruth and is now widowed. He told me he’d recently met Ruth’s son and said the young man looked exactly like Zach. He is totally convinced that this is my brother’s child whom Ruth claimed to have miscarried.

To complicate matters, Ruth’s mother attends my church. We are cordial but not close, and of course, she has never said anything about this to me. I just heard that she is moving to an assisted-living facility in the city where Ruth now resides.

There are a lot of people who would be affected by finding out that Zach had another son, not least my mother. I discussed the matter with my sisters, and we decided to just let it go. Mom was devastated when Zach died so many years ago, and we don’t think she could handle this type of news. However, I wonder if we should get the facts from Ruth’s mother before she leaves town. Surely, she would know whether the young man is our nephew.

Would there be any reason to do this, or should we leave well enough alone?

— Troubled but Want To Do the Right Thing

Dear Troubled: The person most affected by this news would be Zach’s son by his second wife. He could have a half-brother. Because of that, you might want to do a little additional investigating, although we urge you to be cautious. It’s possible that Ruth’s mother doesn’t know any more than you do, and it would be cruel to harass her. And Ruth could deny it, even if it is true. Leave whatever information you have with your nephew. The choice to pursue things further should be his.

————

Dear Annie: I recently held an 80th birthday party for my father, which naturally included a great many seniors over age 75. My sister and her two daughters, both in their 20s, sat down as soon as they arrived and stayed in their seats after the older guests arrived. Our townhouse has limited seating, and although I provided 35 folding chairs, some of these people still had no place to sit down.

As hostess, was it my responsibility to tell my sister and her children to give up their seats? Our mother did not raise us to be so inconsiderate, and I was embarrassed that this happened. What should I have done?

— Embarrassed Hostess

Dear Hostess: Yes, it would have been OK to discreetly and politely ask your nieces whether they would mind giving up their seats for Dad’s friends. If they had objected, of course, there wasn’t much more you could do. But when planning an event that includes a great many seniors, please try to have enough chairs on hand to seat everyone. (You don’t have to put all of them out unless needed.)

————

Dear Annie: I read “A Faithful Reader’s” response to “Mom,” who waits up for her 18-year-old daughter to come home. She said to set an alarm near Mom’s bed.

My sister-in-law is one of three sisters and two brothers. Their mother set up a similar alarm. The girls had to be home at a certain hour, but the boys did not. Well, the girls would come home, turn it off, say goodnight and then sneak back out. One ended up pregnant at 18. The brothers? They became priests.

— Alarm Not the Answer

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

News

New mosaic mural reflects Peña family history

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
UC Davis biodigester hungers for food scraps, belches out electricity

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Fire damages Woodland home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

 
Davis Arts Center: See ceramics, join the Big Day of Giving

By Erie Vitiello | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Register to vote by May 19

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Birch Lane sells garden plants, veggies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Team Blend hosts fundraiser for Nicaragua project

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A3

 
Sign up for enviro organizations during Earth Week

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Davis businesswoman presides over conference

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Bible fun featured at Parents’ Night Out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

UCD to host premiere of autism documentary

By Cory Golden | From Page: A4

 
400 bikes go up for bids at UCD auction

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Fire crews gather for joint training

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
UFC hears from two local historians

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Church hosts discussion of mental health needs, services

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Sunder hosts campaign event for kids

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Fundraiser benefits Oakley campaign

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Odd Fellows host culinary benefit for nonprofit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
UC Davis conference showcases undergraduate research

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Train to become a weather spotter

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Fly Fishers talk to focus on healthy streams, rivers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Learn survival skills at Cache Creek Preserve

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Veterans, internees may receive overdue diplomas

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

UCD professor to talk about new book

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Slow Food tour showcases area’s young farmers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

.

Forum

Will anyone notice?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
My votes reflect city values

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

I support Sunder for board

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
A plea on the Bard’s birthday

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Sharing fire services has been a success

By Our View | From Page: A6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

.

Sports

Seniors send Blue Devil girls past Broncos in a lacrosse rout

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Davis gets to Grant ace and rolls in DVC crucial

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Walchli is under par in another Devil victory

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
DHS/Franklin I goes to the Blue Devil softballers

By Chris Saur | From Page: B1 | Gallery

DHS thunders back to win an epic DVC volleyball match

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
 
Sharks go up 3-0 with OT win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

Baseball roundup: Rangers rally to beat A’s in the ninth

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
.

Features

Field to fork: El Macero’s chef offers spring tastes

By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
.

Arts

Biscuits ‘n Honey will play at winery

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
 
Five Three Oh! featured at April Performers’ Circle

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Celebrate spring at I-House on Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Music, wine flow at Fourth Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Catharine ‘Kay’ Lathrop

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Wednesday, April 23, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6