Friday, February 27, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

When four out of five is bad

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 11, 2014 |

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 22 years. We each have two kids from previous marriages, and together, we have a son. All of our kids are doing wonderfully, except for my wife’s daughter.

I don’t mind helping out now and then, but “Bertha” is a complete mess. She is 33, with three children from three different fathers, none of whom pay child support.

Bertha has hated me from Day One and has tried to sabotage our relationship every chance she gets. She works full time and makes a decent salary, but still mooches off of us on a monthly basis. My wife sends her thousands of dollars. Bertha’s kids have videogame systems, expensive TV sets and fancy clothes. My wife pays Bertha’s rent and phone and electric bills, and sends her gift cards for groceries.

The worst thing is that my wife lies about this and hides the expenses from me. She knows I am against sending all of our extra money to Bertha. I’ve told her she is enabling this child and Bertha will never get a handle on life if mommy always takes care of things. My wife recognizes that sending Bertha so much money is wrong, but she refuses to ask her daughter to account for the money. Instead, she just sends more. I keep complaining, and she keeps giving.

Bertha is the single source of our marital trouble, and my wife is even talking about divorce. I want to retire next year, but we now don’t have enough in savings to do so. In recent months, we have taken to keeping our money separate. I don’t want to be Bertha’s never-ending meal ticket. My wife is becoming increasingly bitter toward me. Is there any way to get through to her?

— Tired in Toledo

Dear Toledo: No matter how wrong it is, your wife is not going to stop enabling Bertha. She feels obligated to help her daughter, and every time you display anger, she becomes defensive and more entrenched in her position. Separate banking accounts is an excellent idea, although not a solution. Please ask your wife to come with you for counseling so she can understand how her behavior toward Bertha helps no one and you can figure out how to respond to this in a more productive way — for yourself, if not for your marriage.

————

Dear Annie: I was adopted as an infant. My parents were never willing to talk about my biological parents. I recently found my birth certificate, which has both my biological mother and father listed.

I am curious as to whether or not I should try to contact them. I am now in my 40s, and it happened so long ago that they might not want me bringing up the past. But I am curious as to what they look like and whether they have other kids. But I am afraid, too.

If I decide to go ahead, what is the best way to contact them?

— Adopted

Dear Adopted: First check your state adoption agency (often through the state health department) to find out whether they have a registry that allows both birth parents and adoptees to list information in case either party is interested in a reunion. Then look into the International Soundex Reunion Registry (isrr.org) at 888-886-ISRR.

————

Dear Annie: “Grateful Granny” wrote an open letter to the “other woman,” welcoming her to take on a number of unsavory traits her ex-husband displays. He sounds like a loser, but Granny may not be a total peach, either. Horrors! The “other woman” has to deal with his baldness. I don’t see how any woman could possibly continue to live with a bald man! That’s right up there with his drinking, pot smoking and chronic unemployment. And at 65, I have some issues with erectile dysfunction and prostate problems. Thank goodness my loving wife is not put off by my balding head and occasional ED problems.

— Angry and Annoyed

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
New greenhouse will add to ‘Farm to Mouth’ program

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Learn about pollinators, gardens and honey at Yolo Basin fundraiser

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Fire damages South Davis home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Can you give them a home?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

Gerber nominations close Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Explorit: Humming right along

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

Flower arrangers feature S.F. designer

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Celebrate Africa on Saturday at I-House

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Robb Davis to speak about homelessness, energy

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Spring sing-along is March 4

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Chamber explores how to pay for Davis’ needs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Wolk and Dodd team up to provide Napa earthquake tax relief

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Class of 1970 plans 45-year reunion

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Bicycle safety course to be offered in Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Documentary on immigration issues will be screened

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Learn about your brain on March 14

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
A fill-up mishap

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Two free yoga classes offered March 12

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Take a night walk at Cache Creek

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Adopt a household for Bridge to Housing participants

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Workshop will teach sustainable gardening methods

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
.

Forum

Tired of all of this

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Cavalier attitude about bike safety

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Start early to build healthy dental habits

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B6

 
No extra cost for containers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

Oral Health Project launches

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

 
Here an H, there an H

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B6

.

Sports

Encouraging start for DHS boys tennis team

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Off day for Aggie men at UCSB

By Kim Orendor | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Aggie women fall to 4th after lackluster showing

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lady Devils are on to the SJS semis

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Blue Devil boys expect a spike in production

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Inquiring minds want to know about Aggies

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

Late goal lifts Red Wings over Sharks

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
Watney struggling at windy Honda Classic

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

 
.

Features

.

Arts

International Film Series to present ‘Jaffa’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Monticello announces March schedule

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

The Artery presents ‘Stepping Into Nature’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
YoloArts’ Gallery 625 presents ‘The Poetry of Dots’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

‘Focus': A sharply conceived caper

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
The Woodland Opera House announces 2015-16 season

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Business

Nissan’s Z remains an affordable performer

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3

 
Car Care: Simple DIY steps to protect your car through all seasons

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
.

Obituaries

Dieter W. Gruenwedel

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
George Miller Jr.

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Death notice: Celia E. Recchio

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Vernon E. Burton

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, February 27, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B5