Wednesday, April 23, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Why does she behave like this?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I have a 40-year-old daughter who is lazy. When she injures herself, has surgery or is sick, I wait on her like she’s a baby. But I recently needed surgery myself, and she has no interest in helping me at all.

A while back, I hired someone to clean her bedroom. It took two days. It was absolutely disgusting. Now that I can’t pick up after her, it’s getting bad again. If I say anything to her, she throws a tantrum. I’m getting too old for this.

— Can’t Take the Arguments

Dear Can’t: You’re too old? Your daughter is 40 and still lives at home and expects her mother to clean her room. We do not understand parents who tacitly encourage their children to behave like babies and treat parents like servants and then complain when they do. Unless your daughter is incapable of holding a job and living independently, tell her it’s time she found a place of her own. At the very least, insist that she pay you rent. Do not clean her room. Close the door and let her deal with her own mess.

————

Dear Annie: My husband is an account executive for a large company. He earns a good salary and travels frequently on business. He has to pay all of his expenses out of his own pocket and then submit expense reports for reimbursement. He is supposed to submit the forms at the end of each month for payment at the end of the following month. It’s tight for us, but tolerable.

Here’s the problem. For whatever reason, the expense checks are often not given out on time. Sometimes my husband has to wait three or four months before being reimbursed. These are not $40 lunches. We are talking about hundreds of dollars of airline and hotel expenses, plus entertaining and feeding clients. Over four months, that can turn into thousands of dollars.

Please don’t misunderstand. I realize we’re lucky to make a good living. But we are not super-wealthy. We have two kids in college and medical bills for my mother, and frankly, we’re not in the position to loan my husband’s company all of this money with no interest.

My husband is always quick to defend the company, saying they didn’t get the information on time or the person writing the checks was on vacation. I think he’s afraid of rocking the boat. Is there anything I can do?

— Not the Company’s Bank

Dear Bank: Are you certain your husband is submitting his expenses on time? He could be telling you it’s the company’s fault to cover his own tardiness. It is also possible the company is having its own cash-flow problems and the late checks are only the tip of the iceberg. Nonetheless, it is your husband’s responsibility to handle this. Surely, he cannot be the only one who is having this particular problem. Perhaps he and other co-workers in the same situation could approach the boss together and find out what is going on.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Not a Lawyer,” who questioned why attorneys seem unwilling to give free legal advice.

I come from a family of lawyers and doctors. I learned that none would give free professional advice. The reason is twofold: First, the majority of questions can only be answered by “it depends on the situation.” Second is the possibility of being sued for malpractice. You have no idea how many confused people have misunderstood a professional’s opinion, especially when given in a casual setting with little or no case history.

I have yet to hear of a chef being sued for malpractice because he advised how to prepare a steak.

— Been There, Won’t Do It

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

News

UC Davis biodigester hungers for food scraps, belches out electricity

By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
New mosaic mural reflects Peña family history

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

Davis businesswoman presides over conference

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Bible fun featured at Parents’ Night Out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Fire damages Woodland home

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

 
Davis Arts Center: See ceramics, join the Big Day of Giving

By Erie Vitiello | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Register to vote by May 19

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Birch Lane sells garden plants, veggies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Team Blend hosts fundraiser for Nicaragua project

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A3

 
Sign up for enviro organizations during Earth Week

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Fundraiser benefits Oakley campaign

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Odd Fellows host culinary benefit for nonprofit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

UCD to host premiere of autism documentary

By Cory Golden | From Page: A4

 
400 bikes go up for bids at UCD auction

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Fire crews gather for joint training

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
UFC hears from two local historians

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Church hosts discussion of mental health needs, services

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Sunder hosts campaign event for kids

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
UC Davis conference showcases undergraduate research

By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Train to become a weather spotter

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Fly Fishers talk to focus on healthy streams, rivers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Learn survival skills at Cache Creek Preserve

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Veterans, internees may receive overdue diplomas

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

UCD professor to talk about new book

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
Slow Food tour showcases area’s young farmers

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

.

Forum

Will anyone notice?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
My votes reflect city values

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

I support Sunder for board

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
A plea on the Bard’s birthday

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Sharing fire services has been a success

By Our View | From Page: A6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

.

Sports

DHS thunders back to win an epic DVC volleyball match

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Seniors send Blue Devil girls past Broncos in a lacrosse rout

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Davis gets to Grant ace and rolls in DVC crucial

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Walchli is under par in another Devil victory

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

DHS/Franklin I goes to the Blue Devil softballers

By Chris Saur | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
 
Sharks go up 3-0 with OT win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

Baseball roundup: Rangers rally to beat A’s in the ninth

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
.

Features

Field to fork: El Macero’s chef offers spring tastes

By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
.

Arts

 
Music, wine flow at Fourth Friday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Biscuits ‘n Honey will play at winery

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
 
Five Three Oh! featured at April Performers’ Circle

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Celebrate spring at I-House on Sunday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Catharine ‘Kay’ Lathrop

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Wednesday, April 23, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6