Sunday, July 27, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Why the silence? Why? Why!?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | December 09, 2012 |

Dear Annie: I have a sister who is 10 years older. “Doris” lives in a retirement hotel, and we speak often on the phone and see each other once a month or so.

Recently, my oldest son told me he saw Doris dining in a posh restaurant. Even though I have since spoken to Doris, she never mentioned seeing my son. When I finally asked her why she hadn’t told me, she tried to make excuses that he was with business associates, but it still didn’t make sense that she never told me he was there.

I know she has kept secrets about other people, and when I’d find out from someone else, she would apologize. But why can’t she be open and trustworthy? My husband and I try to be considerate and helpful. We take her shopping, but she is always frustrated and negative. She never was a happy person to begin with, but lately she seems worse. Instead of being grateful for her good health, she complains and is inconsolable. Shall I just accept how she is and pretend all is well? I have no desire to share anything with her anymore.

— Disgruntled in Calif.

Dear Disgruntled: There may be another reason why Doris neglected to mention your son’s appearance: She forgot. There seems to be no ulterior motive in keeping it a secret, so we think these things simply slide out of her head, and that’s why she doesn’t mention them. As she gets older, this is likely to happen more often. Her complaining, unfortunately, may be part of her personality. You could suggest she see her doctor for a checkup and also propose that she concentrate on the good things in her life. You are one of those. Please try to accept her as she is.

————

Dear Annie: We recently hosted an early holiday, and I am still upset with the behavior of my husband’s 42-year-old niece. My husband has had some major medical issues. He’s doing fine with medication, but he has trouble learning new things, including how to work a complicated cellphone. His family knows all this. My husband opted for a flip phone that’s easy for him to understand and use, but it’s hardly the latest thing.

During the visit, another family member called his phone to say hello. As we passed the phone around, someone accidentally disconnected us, and we had to start over. This niece made fun of the phone in front of the entire family and seemed intent on embarrassing him.

My husband is the most special person in my life, and it hurt to see this 42-year-old brat make fun of him. To me, this “teasing” is rude and thoughtless. Am I being oversensitive? How should I address her nasty comments in the future?

— Miffed

Dear Miffed: You do seem a bit oversensitive. Teasing someone about a phone is not particularly personal, and we doubt the niece connected it to your husband’s medical issues, although you obviously did. The best response to this type of thing is to laugh. If she is looking to get a rise out of you, that will put a stop to it.

————

Dear Annie: “New York” was upset because her aunt said she was unreasonable for not attending a destination wedding. You said, “If you cannot afford to attend, it’s OK to decline.”

I don’t think it’s a matter of being able to afford it. The couple getting married is asking a great deal in terms of time and money. Even if your finances permit such things, it’s unfair for people to be expected to attend.

— Been There

Dear Been There: One does not need any excuse to send regrets for a wedding. But if it’s close family, one might wish to make more of an effort to attend, no matter where it is.

————

To all our Jewish readers: Happy Hanukkah!

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Zombies by rail: It’s not just a show, it’s a trip

    By Evan Arnold-Gordon | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Fatal Covell Boulevard crash recalled in court

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1

    Humphrey Fellows will host Global Forum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Community gardens stretch food dollars, study finds

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Wildfire spurs evacuation of 700 homes

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    State can’t say if it’s meeting drought goal

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Rairdan joins race for Davis school board

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Ukraine launches offensive to retake Donetsk

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Israel extends Gaza truce through Sunday

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    New ordinance aims to prevent nut thefts from orchards

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Biggest book sale to date opens Friday at Davis library

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Luna family matriarch turns 100

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
     
    Discussion of oil by rail EIR planned Sunday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Mace Innovation Center is focus of meeting

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Freeway crash injures two drivers

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

    Museum wants your old Davis High School yearbooks

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Affordable housing forum planned in Davis

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    Protesters gather at Primate Center

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A8

     
    State awards $40,000 for historic property survey

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A8

    Free blood pressure screenings offered

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Vanguard hosts economic development director

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Get a sneak peek at documentary trailer

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Davis Chamber Choir sings short summer program

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9

    Tasting event benefits Yolo Land Trust

    By Lily Holmes | From Page: A9

     
    At the Pond: From Davis, it’s easy to get back to nature

    By Jean Jackman | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    Tickets on sale now for DHS Hall of Fame dinner

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    .

    Forum

    Feels like a million miles away

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A7

     
    Here’s what you need for a perfect wedding

    By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

     
    Check doctors’ vitals before they check yours

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

    Husband’s let himself go

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A14

     
    Questions on water rights

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16, 1 Comment

    Campus turns on the tap

    By Our View | From Page: A16

     
    So, what’s in a week’s worth of waste?

    By Michelle Millet | From Page: A16

    Pat Oliphant cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A16

     
    Golf tourney was a big success

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A16

    We can do more to help

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A17

     
    New playground is wonderful

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A17

    Just Us in Davis: Little Rock Nine hero to celebrate with Davis youths

    By Jann L. Murray-Garcia | From Page: A17 | Gallery

     
    .

    Sports

    Sutherland presents 1st clinic; golf column on its way

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    New Korematsu teacher is an American Ninja Warrior

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Furyk opens 3-shot lead in Canadian Open

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Gray wins 6th straight, A’s 4 HRs beat Texas 5-1

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

    Kershaw throws 2-hitter as Dodgers beat Giants 5-0

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Nibali set to cruise to Tour victory

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

    Area sports briefs: River Cats take Game 1 of doubleheader

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Companies will collaborate on crop insect control

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A13

     
    Developer’s commitments: affordable and green

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A13 | Gallery

    Lagerstrom represents Davis at Mary Kay seminar

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

     
    UC Davis Health System earns ‘Most Wired’ award

    By Charles Casey | From Page: A15

    Bartholomew hires new associate

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

     
    Yolo County real estate sales

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A15

    Go back to school with Great Clips

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Carlton Hope Meister

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Jonathan Eric Hollander

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, July 27, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A6