Sunday, January 25, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Wife is gambling away their future

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 02, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to my lovely wife for nine years, and to this day, I can’t get past her gambling habit. It is causing major problems in our marriage.

Once or twice a week when she gets that itch to head to the casino, she loses all the money she earns in our account and then accumulates bank fees and overdraft charges. I’m fed up with her habit and have mentioned that this must stop. She has promised me many times that she will quit, but she hasn’t been successful.

Once I let her go to the casino and told her to spend only a certain amount, and she ended up gambling away $1,000, which she never replaced. I was upset and didn’t speak to her for a few days.

I will be deploying overseas soon, and I’m afraid to leave her to handle our financial affairs. I want to ask my brother to put her on an allowance to pay our bills, but I know she will be upset and ask me to move out. I don’t want to do that. What should I do?

— Totally Fed Up

Dear Totally: Your wife has an addiction. Stopping will be impossible unless she admits she has a problem and agrees to get help. Some addicts voluntarily list their names with casinos to prohibit admittance, although it is not a guarantee.

We urge you to separate your accounts so she cannot access money needed to run the household, and put your brother in charge of paying the bills. She may become angry, but your marriage will not survive her continued gambling and the potential loss of your savings. Please contact Gam-Anon (gam-anon.org) for additional information and support.

————

Dear Annie: Your advice to couples about affairs has a very negative female bias. A little flirting and an affair or two is normal behavior for both men and women.

Your usual advice is to get counseling or break up the relationship. I would advise them to just ignore it. They could have many years of a happy relationship with each other. Why don’t you suggest that alternative?

— D.

Dear D.: Most of our readers aren’t big fans of that alternative, whether male or female. If both partners agree that affairs are perfectly fine within their marriage, we have no objection. Or if one partner chooses to overlook the other’s philandering, the couple might stay together, although they are not necessarily happy. In most cases, however, affairs are sneaky betrayals full of lies, and one partner loses out on the intimacy and trust that keep a marriage solid. The partner who cheats may believe the marriage is sufficiently happy, but our mail says otherwise.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Finally at Peace,” who now focuses on the grandchildren they are “close” to instead of mourning the ones they are not.

My husband and I have four beautiful, successful and intelligent children. When our oldest was an infant, my mother-in-law told me that she was not available to babysit, so we didn’t impose. It was difficult to watch Grandma and Grandpa travel many miles to babysit for their other grandchildren and attend their plays and ballgames, while showing little interest in ours, no matter how many times we invited them. When we had them over for Sunday dinner, we had to listen while Grandpa bragged endlessly about his other grandchildren.

Our children have been taught to treat their grandparents with love and respect, but kids catch on to favoritism. I suggest that those grandparents examine their own behavior to see whether they need to change. I’m still hoping my in-laws will realize what they are missing.

— Hope To Be a Better Grandparent

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Bridges of Yolo County: Wear, tear … repair?

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Four days of unusual, adventuresome music

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Spanish police arrest 4 suspected members of a jihadi cell

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Rockets kill 30 in Ukrainian city as rebels launch offensive

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Abe ‘speechless’ after video claims IS hostage dead

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    GOP presses state bills limiting gay rights before ruling

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Abortion opponents express renewed hope at California rally

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Share your love (story) with us

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Sip wines at St. James’ annual tasting

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Fake schools draw federal scrutiny

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Winter produce available at Sutter market

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

    Vote for your favorites in Readers’ Choice poll

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Donations to be distributed during homeless count

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Speaker will share computer security tips

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Logos Books celebrates 5 years, offers language groups

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Australian olive oil company opens U.S. headquarters in Woodland

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Explore at the YOLO Outdoor Expo

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Yolo animal shelter seeking rawhide donations

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5

    Woodland Healthcare employees take Great Kindness Challenge

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

     
    At the Pond: Nest boxes give birds new homes

    By Jean Jackman | From Page: A6 | Gallery

    California ranks worst in nation for guidance counselors

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

     
    Davis, Woodland are saving water

    By Elizabeth Case | From Page: A12

    Words and Music Festival events

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A12

     
    .

    Forum

    Family isn’t keen on relationship

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A8

     
     
    Caring for the aging mouth

    By Samer Alassaad | From Page: A8

    Big utilities’ nightmare begins to play out

    By Tom Elias | From Page: A10

     
    Mayor’s Corner: Let’s renew Davis together

    By Dan Wolk | From Page: A10

    We have the right to choose

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    We don’t have to suffer

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    City helped immensely

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Rick McKee cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    When measles spreads from Disneyland, it’s a small world after all

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A11

     
    From innovation parks to innovative buildings and planning

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

    .

    Sports

    Wildcats’ inaugural kids development league exceeds expectations

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Aggies get top 2015 gymnastics score, but fall short

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Loud crowd sees DHS boys win

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Lady Devils hold off Pacers, stay perfect in league

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    UCD men take two tennis matches

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

     
    Watney in ninth at Humana Challenge

    By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Davis man focusing on cannabidiol business

    By Will Bellamy | From Page: A9

     
    Marrone Bio’s Regalia approved for new uses in Canada

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

     
    UCD grad makes insurance ‘hot 100′ list

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    Yolo County real estate sales

    By Zoe Juanitas | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, January 25, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B8