Friday, December 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Wife is gambling away their future

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 02, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to my lovely wife for nine years, and to this day, I can’t get past her gambling habit. It is causing major problems in our marriage.

Once or twice a week when she gets that itch to head to the casino, she loses all the money she earns in our account and then accumulates bank fees and overdraft charges. I’m fed up with her habit and have mentioned that this must stop. She has promised me many times that she will quit, but she hasn’t been successful.

Once I let her go to the casino and told her to spend only a certain amount, and she ended up gambling away $1,000, which she never replaced. I was upset and didn’t speak to her for a few days.

I will be deploying overseas soon, and I’m afraid to leave her to handle our financial affairs. I want to ask my brother to put her on an allowance to pay our bills, but I know she will be upset and ask me to move out. I don’t want to do that. What should I do?

— Totally Fed Up

Dear Totally: Your wife has an addiction. Stopping will be impossible unless she admits she has a problem and agrees to get help. Some addicts voluntarily list their names with casinos to prohibit admittance, although it is not a guarantee.

We urge you to separate your accounts so she cannot access money needed to run the household, and put your brother in charge of paying the bills. She may become angry, but your marriage will not survive her continued gambling and the potential loss of your savings. Please contact Gam-Anon (gam-anon.org) for additional information and support.

————

Dear Annie: Your advice to couples about affairs has a very negative female bias. A little flirting and an affair or two is normal behavior for both men and women.

Your usual advice is to get counseling or break up the relationship. I would advise them to just ignore it. They could have many years of a happy relationship with each other. Why don’t you suggest that alternative?

— D.

Dear D.: Most of our readers aren’t big fans of that alternative, whether male or female. If both partners agree that affairs are perfectly fine within their marriage, we have no objection. Or if one partner chooses to overlook the other’s philandering, the couple might stay together, although they are not necessarily happy. In most cases, however, affairs are sneaky betrayals full of lies, and one partner loses out on the intimacy and trust that keep a marriage solid. The partner who cheats may believe the marriage is sufficiently happy, but our mail says otherwise.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Finally at Peace,” who now focuses on the grandchildren they are “close” to instead of mourning the ones they are not.

My husband and I have four beautiful, successful and intelligent children. When our oldest was an infant, my mother-in-law told me that she was not available to babysit, so we didn’t impose. It was difficult to watch Grandma and Grandpa travel many miles to babysit for their other grandchildren and attend their plays and ballgames, while showing little interest in ours, no matter how many times we invited them. When we had them over for Sunday dinner, we had to listen while Grandpa bragged endlessly about his other grandchildren.

Our children have been taught to treat their grandparents with love and respect, but kids catch on to favoritism. I suggest that those grandparents examine their own behavior to see whether they need to change. I’m still hoping my in-laws will realize what they are missing.

— Hope To Be a Better Grandparent

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

UCD, UC team up to study effects of climate change

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Teens’ goal? Helping other soccer players around the world

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

There’s a plate for you at the Davis Holiday Meal

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Feds release ‘framework’ to rate colleges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Gunfire leads to DUI arrest

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Police seek suspect in hit-and-run collision

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

Help sought in search for runaway Davis teen

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Konditorei presents free holiday concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Welcome 2015 with Mumbo Gumbo at a gala bash

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Luminaria display planned in West Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Creative women share food, friendship

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Blue Christmas service planned at Davis churches

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Willett bench is a labor of love

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

 
Author! Author! UCD hosts talks, Q and A on Asia-focused books

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Libraries will be closed around the holidays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
See diving ducks at city wetlands tour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Downtown gift cards get a new perk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

Meditation, Buddhism classes offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Nobel Prize winner will discuss research related to autism

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

A home for the holidays?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

 
Explorit: Experience nano this spring

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Traditional carols service is Saturday at St. Martin’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Supplies collected for victims of abuse

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Grandmothers support group meets weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

 
Soup’s On will benefit NAMI-Yolo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Donate to STEAC at Original Steve’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Forum

He needs them to pay up

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A14

Cheers and Jeers: Have you ever seen the rain?

By Our View | From Page: A14

 
Defeating Ebola involves medicine, and prayers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14 | Gallery

Kudos to Central Park Gardens donors and volunteers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

 
.

Sports

Devil boys hold off scrappy Rio Linda

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lady Blue Devils rout an undefeated Liberty squad

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

UCD RB coach Wright heads to Florida; what next?

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Aggies nab junior college defensive lineman

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

Cousins is back in lineup but Kings fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Nostra-Dunning makes his college bowl picks

By Bob Dunning | From Page: B2

Tennyson’s first goal is the difference in Sharks win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
.

Features

Name droppers: Trio elected to academy of inventors

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Arts

Tom Rigney and Flambeau to play

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
 
DMTC announces auditions for ‘Sweeney Todd’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
‘Before Midnight’ screening is tonight

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

DMTC plans New Year’s Eve party

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
.

Business

After 19 years, Alfa Romeo returns

By Ann M. Job | From Page: A16

 
.

Obituaries

Rena Sylvia Smilkstein

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
.

Comics