Friday, August 1, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Wife is gambling away their future

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | January 02, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to my lovely wife for nine years, and to this day, I can’t get past her gambling habit. It is causing major problems in our marriage.

Once or twice a week when she gets that itch to head to the casino, she loses all the money she earns in our account and then accumulates bank fees and overdraft charges. I’m fed up with her habit and have mentioned that this must stop. She has promised me many times that she will quit, but she hasn’t been successful.

Once I let her go to the casino and told her to spend only a certain amount, and she ended up gambling away $1,000, which she never replaced. I was upset and didn’t speak to her for a few days.

I will be deploying overseas soon, and I’m afraid to leave her to handle our financial affairs. I want to ask my brother to put her on an allowance to pay our bills, but I know she will be upset and ask me to move out. I don’t want to do that. What should I do?

— Totally Fed Up

Dear Totally: Your wife has an addiction. Stopping will be impossible unless she admits she has a problem and agrees to get help. Some addicts voluntarily list their names with casinos to prohibit admittance, although it is not a guarantee.

We urge you to separate your accounts so she cannot access money needed to run the household, and put your brother in charge of paying the bills. She may become angry, but your marriage will not survive her continued gambling and the potential loss of your savings. Please contact Gam-Anon (gam-anon.org) for additional information and support.

————

Dear Annie: Your advice to couples about affairs has a very negative female bias. A little flirting and an affair or two is normal behavior for both men and women.

Your usual advice is to get counseling or break up the relationship. I would advise them to just ignore it. They could have many years of a happy relationship with each other. Why don’t you suggest that alternative?

— D.

Dear D.: Most of our readers aren’t big fans of that alternative, whether male or female. If both partners agree that affairs are perfectly fine within their marriage, we have no objection. Or if one partner chooses to overlook the other’s philandering, the couple might stay together, although they are not necessarily happy. In most cases, however, affairs are sneaky betrayals full of lies, and one partner loses out on the intimacy and trust that keep a marriage solid. The partner who cheats may believe the marriage is sufficiently happy, but our mail says otherwise.

————

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Finally at Peace,” who now focuses on the grandchildren they are “close” to instead of mourning the ones they are not.

My husband and I have four beautiful, successful and intelligent children. When our oldest was an infant, my mother-in-law told me that she was not available to babysit, so we didn’t impose. It was difficult to watch Grandma and Grandpa travel many miles to babysit for their other grandchildren and attend their plays and ballgames, while showing little interest in ours, no matter how many times we invited them. When we had them over for Sunday dinner, we had to listen while Grandpa bragged endlessly about his other grandchildren.

Our children have been taught to treat their grandparents with love and respect, but kids catch on to favoritism. I suggest that those grandparents examine their own behavior to see whether they need to change. I’m still hoping my in-laws will realize what they are missing.

— Hope To Be a Better Grandparent

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

What’s the buzz?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

 
Davis Reads book project focuses on veterans

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

Carbahal and Company celebrates 30 years

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

 
UCD chancellor is coming up for 5-year review

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Need a new best friend?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Businesses can learn about PR strategies

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Enjoy films, beer at benefit Friday night

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Target hosts National Night Out celebration

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

10 essential herbs are focus of Davisite’s talk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Parents can learn all about IEPs

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Bee beard photo wins award

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
 
City of Davis recruits for its advisory commissions

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Seniors share homes for savings, companionship

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Farmers Market shoppers can pick up free reusable produce bags

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10 | Gallery

.

Forum

Railroads, listen up and respond

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A8

 
Treat children as refugees

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

Protect and expand Medicare

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
It’s insurance against extremes

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

Political cartoon was offensive

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Let’s gas up for TAPS

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

.

Sports

Stuart named to outstanding placekicker watch list

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Going, going, gone: A’s trade Cespedes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Swimley recalls a budding star in Giants’ Susac

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Nick Watney leads Barracuda Championship

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Safety Bethea finding a groove with new 49ers team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
UCD women’s golf tees up tough schedule

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B8

.

Features

.

Arts

‘Guardians of the Galaxy’: Droll sci-fi hijinks

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Barnyard Theatre adds ‘Pinky’ performance after sold-out opening night.

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

WOH to hold auditions for ‘Zuccotti Park’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
‘Tunes on Tuesdays’ come to Freeman Park

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12 | Gallery

.

Business

Grand Cherokee: A grand, and long, ride

By Ann M. Job | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

Don Fife

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Nancy Jane Fife

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Clara Meyerhoff

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Patricia Eileen Hershberger

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

John Vernon McLane Wayland

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
.

Comics

Comics: Friday, August 1, 2014

By Creator | From Page: A6