Friday, December 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Will Dad’s other kids mind?

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I recently decided to do a little digging into my past and started a family tree. While I was doing this, I came across information that my biological father had passed away some 10 years ago.

Annie, I had no contact with my biological father after the age of 2. He had an affair with my mother and then went back to his wife. I don’t even know what he looked like. In all honesty, I have no feelings about his passing. I have never regretted not meeting him.

The reason I am writing is that he had two children by the woman he was married to while seeing my mother on the side. I doubt they even know that my two younger brothers and I exist, especially since he went out of his way to deny having fathered us in the first place.

My mother suggested I contact these now-grown children and let them know about us. I do not think this is a good idea and prefer to leave well enough alone. Your thoughts?

– Curious in Minnesota

Dear Curious: We agree with you to leave things alone. We assume you have relevant medical information about your biological father. Does your mother have a photograph of him so you can satisfy any curiosity you have about what he looked like? These children may deeply resent learning that their father had an affair that produced siblings, and developing a relationship with you could be too painful for them. If they do know about you, they can do the same search you are considering, so we’d let them make that decision.

————

Dear Annie: My wife reads the paper daily, so I’m hoping you can get through to her. She has put on more than 100 pounds since our two kids were born.

I would like to tell her I love her and worry about her health. We talk about growing old together and all the things we will get to experience with our children. They are now at a great age to travel, and we can enjoy their sporting events. My wife exercises a little but cannot refuse a cookie, brownie or piece of cake. I try to lead by example by exercising regularly, eating no goodies and keeping watch over my health. I want us to take long walks and grow old together.

Thank you for printing this. If I said these words to my wife, she would take it badly, but when she reads it, I will tell her I wrote it.

— Omaha, Neb.

Dear Omaha: How could any woman be upset when her husband says he wants to grow old with her? Weight is a tricky issue and a do-it-yourself project. And 100 pounds might seem overwhelming. If you indicate disapproval of her food choices, it makes her feel terrible, which only makes her want to eat. Your wife is aware of her weight and undoubtedly wants to drop some pounds.

Could you take over more of the cooking and grocery shopping so there are healthier meals and snacks? Would she take a romantic walk with you after dinner? Would she join Weight Watchers or Overeaters Anonymous? Would she download an app on her phone to keep track of her calories and exercise?

When you show her this letter, ask how you can help her. We hope she will work on it, but if she refuses, please know there is nothing more you can do. Love her as is.

————

Dear Annie: “Concerned in Galesburg, Ill.” disapproved of parents taking photographs of their babies without clothing on. We once had an attorney general who went around putting diapers on statues of naked people. I’ve often wondered who his constituents were.

— Babies Are Adorable

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

.

News

 
UCD, UC team up to study effects of climate change

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Teens’ goal? Helping other soccer players around the world

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
There’s a plate for you at the Davis Holiday Meal

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Police seek suspect in hit-and-run collision

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Help sought in search for runaway Davis teen

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Creative women share food, friendship

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Konditorei presents free holiday concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Welcome 2015 with Mumbo Gumbo at a gala bash

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Luminaria display planned in West Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Willett bench is a labor of love

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

Author! Author! UCD hosts talks, Q and A on Asia-focused books

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Blue Christmas service planned at Davis churches

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Libraries will be closed around the holidays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

 
See diving ducks at city wetlands tour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Downtown gift cards get a new perk

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

Meditation, Buddhism classes offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
A home for the holidays?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

Nobel Prize winner will discuss research related to autism

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Traditional carols service is Saturday at St. Martin’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

Explorit: Experience nano this spring

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Supplies collected for victims of abuse

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Grandmothers support group meets weekly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11, 1 Comment

 
Soup’s On will benefit NAMI-Yolo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Donate to STEAC at Original Steve’s

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Forum

He needs them to pay up

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Kudos to Central Park Gardens donors and volunteers

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A14

 
Cheers and Jeers: Have you ever seen the rain?

By Our View | From Page: A14

Defeating Ebola involves medicine, and prayers

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14 | Gallery

 
.

Sports

Cousins is back in lineup but Kings fall

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Devil boys hold off scrappy Rio Linda

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Lady Blue Devils rout an undefeated Liberty squad

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
UCD RB coach Wright heads to Florida; what next?

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

Aggies nab junior college defensive lineman

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Nostra-Dunning makes his college bowl picks

By Bob Dunning | From Page: B2

Tennyson’s first goal is the difference in Sharks win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
.

Features

Name droppers: Trio elected to academy of inventors

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
.

Arts

 
‘Before Midnight’ screening is tonight

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

DMTC plans New Year’s Eve party

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
Tom Rigney and Flambeau to play

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
DMTC announces auditions for ‘Sweeney Todd’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A15

 
.

Business

After 19 years, Alfa Romeo returns

By Ann M. Job | From Page: A16

 
.

Obituaries

Rena Sylvia Smilkstein

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
.

Comics