Tuesday, September 30, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Will her parents understand?

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | March 15, 2013 |

Dear Annie: My family is very conservative, and they are rather religious Christians. For the past seven years, I have known that I am gay. I tried dating boys to please my parents, but it just didn’t feel right. During my senior year of high school, I went out with a few girls, but I was still very much in the closet. Now that I’m in college, however, I’m out and proud. I have a girlfriend, and things are going well for us. We are talking about moving in together.

I came out to my mother and sisters because I knew they would accept it eventually, although they were disappointed. But the rest of the family is a different story. I want to bring my girlfriend home to meet my folks. I want to be honest about our relationship, but I am crossing a generational, religious and moral line. My grandmother believes lesbians are going to hell.

I don’t intend to rub it in their faces. But it feels like a burden to lie about it. I know they love me and would continue to love me. I have not changed who I am. But I’m afraid they will treat me differently, and I’m worried about how they will treat my girlfriend. How do I come out to the rest of my family?

— The L Word

Dear L Word: You already know that your family will love you regardless, and that is the most important thing. They may treat you differently at the beginning, but that is not unusual, and over time, their behavior will normalize. (They may already suspect you are gay.) But we don’t recommend you introduce a girlfriend on the same trip where you come out to the relatives. That may be more than any of you can handle, and it is unfair to your girlfriend to put her in the middle of the drama. We suggest you contact PFLAG (pflag.org) for suggestions on the best way to approach this.

————

Dear Annie: Nearly 40 years ago, my daughter had an abortion. She was 17, and there was no possibility of carrying the baby to term and having it be adopted.

My daughter and I never talk about this, but I have never forgotten it. This child would now be an adult, and I would have a grandchild. I will regret this experience until the day I die. I believe everyone should be able to do what they need to do, but be sure you can live with the consequences.

— A Regretful Grandma

Dear Regretful: No woman is eager to have an abortion. It is a difficult and wrenching decision, often the option of last resort. You never had the opportunity to properly grieve for this unborn child and the potential the child represented. Please take the time to do so now. You have held on to this pain for 40 years. A grief counselor can help you let go so you can forgive your daughter — and yourself.

————

Dear Annie: “New Hampshire” said her brother-in-law, “Bob,” came to their home for the holidays every year and never treated them to anything, including groceries, and somehow managed to forget his credit card when they went out for dinner.

I had a similar experience with my sister, and like “New Hampshire,” I was frustrated. I began limiting what we did together and opting for less expensive things, knowing I’d be stuck with the bill.

Three years ago, my sister passed away from cancer at the age of 51. Since then, I have often thought how happy I would be to take her out to eat every week if only she were still here to go with me. It’s only money. Please tell your readers to enjoy the time they have with loved ones. One day they may be in my shoes, wishing you could be together.

— Miss My Sister in Kansas

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Poppenga outlines ambitious agenda

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Cool Davis Festival is très chill

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Man on a mission: Rob White seeks to transform Davis

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Find the perfect club or organization to join

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C2 | Gallery

     
    Forum examines Props. 1 and 2 on November ballot

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Register to vote by Oct. 20

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    Assembly candidates will be at Woodland forum

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    California approves landmark ‘yes means yes’ law

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

     
    TSA bomb training may be noisy

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Try out basic yoga on Thursday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    DCC welcomes students with free lunch

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Gibson House hosts plant sale and garden event

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    UCD, University College Dublin will cooperate on food, health

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Accessibility technology on exhibit at fair

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Covell Gardens breakfast benefits Komen Foundation

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Put your hoes down and celebrate the harvest

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Panelists discuss raising children with special needs

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    DCC hosts fair-trade gift sale on Oct. 11

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Emerson gives away old textbooks

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Number of wheels: How many bicycles do you have in your household?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C5 | Gallery

     
    Fraud Awareness Fair set Oct. 15 in West Sac

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Downtown history tour planned in October

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    DMTC makes musical theater accessible to everyone

    By Bev Sykes | From Page: C9 | Gallery

     
    Take home a wreath from Davis Flower Arrangers’ meeting

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

    Snapshot: A night out with the neighbors

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C10

     
    Davis school names reflect interesting history

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: C12

    Snapshot: Plenty of places to park it

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C14

     
    Snapshot: Dive into Davis fun

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C15

    Snapshot: Kick garbage to the curb

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C16

     
    Snapshot: Sounds like a party

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C17

    .

    Forum

    He seems happy at home

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    The great bedtime conspiracy

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    They’re best-prepared to lead

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Vibrant and hard-working

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Archer has the right stuff

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Get on your bikes to meet Davis’ greenhouse gas goals

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Marsh case shows need for ‘Maupin’s Law’

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    ‘Playoff game’ or missed chance? Either way the Aggies move on

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils move atop league standings with win

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Only 15 months out of UCD, Runas off to LPGA Tour

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Davis golfers get teaching moments in forfeit win

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Two Junior Blue Devil squads emerge victorious

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    I-House film series continues with ‘Monsieur Lazhar’

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Pleasant Valley Boys cool down Picnic in the Park

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

    ‘Art Farm’ exhibition will open in Woodland

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

     
    Acclaimed guitarist Peppino D’Agostino to play The Palms

    By Landon Christensen | From Page: A9

     
    Woodland artist hosts event at her new studio

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Michael Allen Hanks Baxter

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Anne Elizabeth Elbrecht

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7