Wednesday, October 1, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Worried parents want to help

AnniesMailbox

By
From page B5 | February 19, 2013 |

Dear Annie: Our daughter, “Mattie,” is 42 years old. She has been married for 10 years and has two school-age children. Due to her husband’s work transfers, Mattie twice was left alone with the children for several months while she tried to sell the house and her husband moved to the new location.

The first time it happened, things worked out OK, but the second time, Mattie started drinking quite heavily. We didn’t find out until she had seizures, lost a lot of weight and ended up in the hospital close to death with severe liver damage. She pulled out of it, but now we worry that she might be in the same situation. We visited her over the holidays and suspect she has started drinking again. She also seems very depressed.

Her husband doesn’t seem to recognize the problem. As parents, do we get involved? If so, do we confront Mattie or talk to her husband?

— Terrified for Our Daughter

Dear Terrified: Please don’t be afraid to speak to Mattie if you think she is drinking again. It is a serious matter, both physically and emotionally, and needs to be addressed. You also should speak to her husband. He may be doing more than you realize, or he may be in denial or completely oblivious. Contact Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) for assistance and suggestions.

————

Dear Annie: When my mother was dying of cancer, she chose to die at home and not at my “pious” sister’s house. My sister resented this and made only brief visits during Mom’s final days. The day the hospice nurse said Mom would probably die within hours, my sister stopped by and then left for a week’s planned vacation. We postponed the funeral until she returned, and she showed up to the visitation in a souvenir T-shirt.

After the funeral, Sis, as executor, didn’t want my brother or me to go through Mom’s possessions. Instead, she had an auction, and we had to bid on closed boxes. Many of the things we know belonged to Mom did not show up, and somehow, my sister’s name got on the deed to the family farm.

There has been no accounting of the income from the auction, and when we asked, Sis became angry. The final straw was that my mother wrote a personal letter to me but did not get around to mailing it. Sis found it, made copies and passed it out to everyone but me. I would like the original, but Sis says, “Finders, keepers.”

Sis now wants us to get together and pretend there are no problems. This is putting my “Christian attitude” to the test. Should I turn a very bruised cheek and pretend all is well for the sake of family unity?

— Confused in Missouri

Dear Missouri: Your sister certainly has been less than forthcoming, and the business with the personal letter is rather nasty. Did your mother have an attorney? If so, there should be an accounting of where the money went and what your sister was entitled to as executor. But you may need to sue in order to get the information, so decide what it’s worth to you. It is likely to cause a permanent estrangement, and you still may not get what you are hoping for: your sister’s remorse and an apology. Our condolences.

————

Dear Annie: “Want To Do the Right Thing” wants to celebrate his parents’ 50th anniversary but can’t afford the restaurant and wants guests to pay for their own meals.

We all want things we cannot afford. Most parents would not enjoy knowing their children are depriving themselves for a big party. Instead, arrange for a nice family photo that would be treasured. Then take your parents out to a lovely lunch or dinner.

— R.

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Special to The Enterprise

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Jury: Marsh legally sane during Northup, Maupin murders

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Undocumented Student Center offers help to immigrants

    By Julia Ann Easley | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Rairdan supports more inquiry-based learning

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Standing In: Don’t write? I may as well stop breathing

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A2

     
    Woodland man convicted in domestic violence case

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Apply soon to be a Master Gardener

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Katehi will address Rotarians on Monday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Mondavi Center hosts all-star lineup of classical, jazz, dance and more

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C3 | Gallery

    Willett students sensitized to those who are different

    By Maria Clayton | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Friends of the Library host biggest book sale of the year

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Give blood and get a free movie ticket

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    ‘Edible City’ discussion planned

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    TSA bomb training may be noisy

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    AIM testing dates set this fall, winter

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A4

     
    Tour Honey Bee Haven on Friday

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Woodland City Cemetery tours planned

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
     
    ‘ADHD — Myth or Reality’ addressed at UCD talk

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Quotes from the Marsh double-murder trial

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    UCD athletics have break-from-work entertainment for everyone

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: C5 | Gallery

    Quad abuzz with students

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A7 | Gallery

     
    Wetlands visitors may see ducks arriving

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    Boy Scouts host family event in park

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

     
    How did the Aggies get their name?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: C12

    .

    Forum

    Hey, it’s free childcare …

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    Will you open your heart, and your home?

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    The right vote for education

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    Just what Davis schools need

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    Nolan’s a calm voice of reason

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    .

    Sports

    DHS girls tennis team tames Lions

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devil girls play dynamite pool defense

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Davis volleyballers finish strong at Franklin

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Hard-working Blue Devil boys get a water polo win

    By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    A’s fall as AL wild-card game lives up to its name

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Legacy roundup: Milliennium takes Manteca tournament

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

    AYSO roundup: Beans, Capay can’t shake each other in U19 play

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

     
    Alliance roundup: Los Azules, Italia win tourneys

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    Sports briefs: Real Salt Lake has too much for Republic

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

     
    .

    Features

    From the ground up: Rediscovering classic cheesecake

    By Ann Evans | From Page: A10 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    Leonard D. Blackford

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Anne Elizabeth Elbrecht

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Wednesday, October 1, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A8