Friday, April 18, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

You can’t choose your roommates

AnniesMailbox

Dear Annie: I live with my 55-year-old sister. “Toni” has always been a heavy drinker, but she’s recently moved on to pot and Vicodin. She has started hanging around with people half her age and is obsessed with being young.

Toni will not acknowledge that she has issues. She’s too busy telling everyone else what is wrong with them. I used to drink, too, but sobered up seven years ago. Toni resents this, referring to me as a “whack job.” To make things worse, her 28-year-old son moved in with us, and he is a drinker and is also addicted to video games.

Toni and I own this house jointly. I am in a tough financial bind right now and cannot move out. How should I handle this?

— Sister in Southern California

Dear Sister: First, please make sure Toni understands that she cannot bring illegal substances into your home. You could all be held responsible. Beyond that, we urge you to ignore as much of Toni’s irresponsible behavior as you can manage. You cannot change her if she is unwilling, so it’s important that you look out for yourself.

Would Toni be interested in purchasing your half of the house? Could you work out an arrangement to purchase her half? Does it make fiscal sense to sell the house altogether? Consider ways to escape living with Toni, but otherwise, try not to let her behavioral issues become your problem. She is irritating and reckless, but you are not responsible for her choices.

————

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 51 years. She was always on the voluptuous side, but now she is enormously fat. She absolutely refuses to discuss her weight.

Our adult children live in fear of ending up as heavy as their mother. I am 83 years old and keep my weight at 180. Her weight is the best kept secret in the country. Once a month, my wife has lunch with a group of equally large ladies, which probably doesn’t help. I have my own physical problems, and I’m tired. I worry about my wife’s health. Please help.

— Married to the Blob

Dear Married: For some people, working on their weight is so overwhelming that they give up before they start. It also doesn’t help that your wife tends to hang around others who are equally large. Studies have indicated that overweight people who socialize primarily with other overweight people tend to see themselves as “normal” sized, which can lead to overeating and denying that there is anything wrong.

We know your wife’s weight affects you, but you cannot force her to address it. You could suggest a walk after dinner and some other mild physical activity on the weekends. And if you do any cooking or grocery shopping, see that the foods in your home are nutritious. Beyond that, you can only accept her as she is. After 51 years, we hope she has other qualities that make up for her size.

————

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Devastated,” who intends to marry an African-American man, but her family refuses to accept him. She sounds like me 32 years ago. My mother never accepted my better half because he is black. But I chose him. This is for her:

Don’t kid yourself. It will be hard in the beginning. You may not get the wedding you want, but keep on pushing. If you aren’t invited to a family get-together, make a special day of it for the two of you. It will get easier. Always remember when you are planning something to invite your family. Let them keep making the decision of whether or not to come. In time, that will change. Unfortunately, my mother never accepted my husband or my biracial children. That broke my heart, but the rest of my family lifted me up. Keep strong.

— Been There in Memphis

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

     
    Chuck Rairdan joins school board race

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1, 2 Comments

    Going green at church, school, everywhere

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Former caretaker convicted of murder, elder abuse

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1, 4 Comments | Gallery

    Old friend helps Brad and others find kidneys

    By Dave Jones | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    UCD to host Global Health Day event

    By Cory Golden | From Page: A2

    Ukraine insurgents reject call to quit buildings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 3 Comments

     
    For the record

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

     
    Need a new best friend?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    ‘Hitchhiking’ dog looking for new home

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Event to provide nature scholarship

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Online K-12 school holds info night

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Volkssporting Club plans North Davis walks

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Schwenger lawn signs available

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

     
    Volunteers needed for Grad Night

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Davis grad makes rain collection a business

    By Jason McAlister | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    A few spots left on history tour

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    Chipotle fundraiser boosts Emerson tech upgrade

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Students have new options on leasing front

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Groups join for a day of service

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

     
    NAMI backers walk in Sacramento

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

     
    Food for the hungry

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A10

    .

    Forum

    Dad makes mom look bad

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

     
    In search of great ideas

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

    Please keep the nursery open

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

     
    Early help is a great investment

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

    More tax money? Answer the question

    By Rich Rifkin | From Page: A6, 4 Comments

     
    UCD IS responsible for students

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6, 4 Comments

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

    .

    Sports

    DHS’ Golston goes full-bore on the diamond

    By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Devils show more life in loss to Mitty

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Sharks double up Kings in Game 1

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

     
    Aggies lose a slugfest in opener at Riverside

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Fox coming to UCD; Riffle heads to Florida

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    DYSA roundup: Intensity has big week; 10U games dominate schedule

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Sports briefs: Aggies set the academic bar high

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    Pro baseball roundup: Susac sends Sacramento to a rare loss

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    ‘Transcendence’: A whole new level of tedium

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    ‘The Bloom’ paves way for Whole Earth Festival

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    DHS tribute to Tony Fields slated for April 25-26

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

     
    UCD, city team up for Music on the Green

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

    .

    Business

    Ford turns its Focus to domestic market

    By Ali Arsham | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, April 18, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: A9

     
    .

    Real Estate Review

    Featured Listing

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER1

    Professional Services Directory

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER2

    Lyon Real Estate

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER3

    Acacia at Huntington Square

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER4

    Jamie Madison

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER4

    Yolo FCU

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER4

    Travis Credit Union

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER5

    Kim Eichorn

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER6

    Suzanne Kimmel

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER6

    Lynne Wegner

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER7

    Kim Merrel Lamb

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER7

    Patricia Echevarria

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER8

    Chris Snow

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER8

    Andrew Dowling

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER9

    Sheryl Patterson

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER9

    Don Guthrie

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER9

    Coldwell Banker

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER10

    Coldwell Banker

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER11

    Heather Barnes

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER12

    Julie Partain & Dick Partain

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER12

    Malek Baroody

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER13

    Karen Waggoner

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER14

    Willowbank Park

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER14

    Team Traverso

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER15

    Julie Leonard

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER15

    Tim Harrison

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER15

    Tracy Harris

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER16

    Lori Prizmich

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER16

    Joe Kaplan

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER17

    Raul Zamora

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER17

    Coldwell Banker

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER18

    Open House Map

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER19

    F1rst Street Real Estate

    By Zack Snow | From Page: RER20