Tuesday, July 29, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Youngest sister feels like an outsider

By
From page B5 | May 15, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I’m the youngest of 10 siblings. Most of my brothers and sisters are much older, and I was raised primarily with “Sara and Tina,” who often bullied and hit me. Consequently, my mother would not leave me alone with them, and my sisters grew to resent the closeness I had with Mom.

When we grew up, I was the one who took responsibility for my parents when they were sick and needed money. I put myself through college and established an excellent career. My parents admired this, but Sara and Tina became passive-aggressive toward me. They voiced their dislike of my husband, and they never called or included me in family outings.

I have always loved my nieces and nephews and have been attentive to their birthdays and celebrations. But when my 4-year-old daughter died, neither Tina nor Sara called to see how we were or offered to take my young son for some time away from his depressed parents. When I asked them why, they became defensive and said I always make them feel inferior. My older siblings agree that Sara and Tina are jealous of me, but they made no effort to intervene and simply told me to ignore them. So I did.

Sara, Tina and I live in the same city. Four years ago, I had another baby, and they never came to see us. At that point, I cut them off altogether.

Yesterday, I received an invitation to a family reunion. I don’t want to go. I don’t consider these people my family any longer, and it will only hurt to see that I’ve always been the outsider. My son is 12 and my daughter is 7, and they don’t know any of my siblings. What do you think?

— Thought I Was Part of a Large Family

Dear Thought: When there is a large age gap between siblings, it can be difficult to form a close bond. And because you seem to have focused all of your efforts solely on Tina and Sara, you believe that none of your siblings has any interest in you. While you are not obligated to attend a family reunion, this is a lot of family to ignore.

We suggest you attend, but give Tina and Sara only a brief acknowledgment, and then try to spend time getting to know your other siblings and their children. You might find more common ground there, and your children might be closer in age to their grandchildren. If you still feel like an outsider after this, any additional contact is unnecessary.

————

Dear Annie: My friends and I play cards once a week at “Jennie’s” house. However, when the phone rings, she answers it while the game is in progress.

Do you think she should get into a lengthy conversation while we sit there and wait for the conversation to end? These are not emergency calls. I don’t feel comfortable confronting her about this. How can I handle this tactfully?

— A Friend

Dear Friend: You already know that having a lengthy phone conversation while entertaining others is rude. Before you begin playing next time, all of you should discuss adding a rule saying that anyone who stays on the phone longer than 60 seconds must withdraw from the game or forfeit her turn until the conversation is over. But we also notice that you are meeting at Jennie’s and nowhere else. Why not alternate homes and give her a break?

—————

Dear Annie: Tell “Anonymous” to call her local veterinarian to see whether he has a use for the empty prescription pill containers. Our vet was very happy to take all of the pill bottles we could give him.

— Barb

————

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Comments

comments

Creators Syndicate

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    That’s the ticket: Mondavi gets dynamic with pricing

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Tickets, sponsorships available for 10th annual Village Feast

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Ramco launches innovation center outreach effort

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Bob Dunning: Just be glad we don’t want fingerprints

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2 | Gallery

     
    House to vote on slimmed-down bill for border

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Groundwater expert will speak in Woodland

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Pets of the week

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3 | Gallery

     
    Fair entries due soon for veggie, flower exhibitors

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    Forum will explore injured veterans’ issues

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Humphrey Fellows share tales from their countries

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

     
    Hear Julie and the Jukes in the park

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

    Square Tomatoes celebrates its anniversary

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

     
    Exchange program seeks host families

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

    .

    Forum

    Our own policies do us harm

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Pat Oliphant cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A4

    It’s all the ecologists’ fault

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

     
    Refrain from generalization

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A4

     
    It hurts, but not as much as the truth

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

    Accusations tear family down

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    .

    Sports

    Thorpe named UCD head softball coach

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Republic sets attendance record

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Cats let win slip away in Tacoma

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

    Houston continues to be a problem for A’s

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Lawrence Okoye preparing for the NFL

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

    Pirates plunder S.F.

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B8 | Gallery

     
    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Tuesday, July 29, 2014 (set 1)

    By Creator | From Page: B5

     
    Comics: Tuesday, July 29, 2014 (set 2)

    By Creator | From Page: B7